A series of unfortunate 'sexual' events
by Yugi and Mai
Summary: Ever wondered why you should never eavesdrop? Well so have many YuGiOh! characters and once they hear these conversations they wish they never did listen. Written by Yugi. Chapter 20 FINALLY up!
1. Yugi and Yami

**A series of unfortunate 'sexual' events**

Hello peeps this is my first Humour fanfiction so if it's not that funny oh well that's my fault.

Every Chapter will be a different pairing and if you want a specific paring then say so but it won't be a love relationship e.g. Yugi/Yami so read on to find out more.

All I really have to say is to read my story and review at the end of it if you would be so kind. -

I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! _(damn) _Kazuki Takahashi does _(Lucky Guy)_

Please Enjoy and Review!

Thankies

Yugi

**Key**

speech: Grandpa speaking

**speech: **Yami speaking

_speech: _Yugi speaking

**Chapter one: **_Yugi and Yami_

It was a perfect sunny day in the city of Domino as birds glided across the painted blue sky whilst swings swung gently as no sounds of excited kids echoed across the park.

It's always been that way these days. The fresh outdoors would beckon young innocent children _(A.n: Innocent Kids? What a load of rubbish!)_ but yet they didn't heed the call, instead they would spend all day cooped up inside playing their game consoles or enjoying themselves in the latest craze of the week.

Thanks to all these modern technologies the great outdoors was becoming more desolate

and deserted then nature intended it to be.

That is how it is and how it will be for the rest of eternity.

The streets were deserted as a short, old man walked slowly down the road carrying numerous amounts of shopping bags in his wrinkly old hands. He continued to trudge down the empty streets as he stopped outside a shop on the corner of the road. He stopped outside the shop and placed his shopping bags down whilst rummaging his pockets for the keys. A smile danced across his face as he found the desired item and placed it in the shop keyhole.

The shop door creaked open as the old man walked inside placing the bags onto the cold floor, flicking the light switch on in the process.

He ran his hands through his spiky grey hair whilst a sigh escaped his lips. He glanced up the stairs as he said to himself "Wonder where the boys are?" he sighed as he continued "Why are they cooped up indoors on such a lovely day?"

He started to walk up the stairs whilst calling his grandson and his yami.

"Yugi? Yami? Were are you boys? Why aren't you outside playing?"

He continued to tread up the stairs passing pictures of a young, short boy with spiky tri-coloured hair, this of course was his grandson Yugi. He sighed as he passed the picture followed by another picture of a slightly taller tri-coloured haired boy with a dollop of ice cream dripping fro his nose. Crimson eyes staring with darkness and anger, but protection as well. This was his grandson's guardian, Yami.

He continued up the stairs until he was outside a red door covered with images of Duel Monsters in many positions.

Grandpa Muto was about to knock on the door until he heard muffling coming from the boy's bedroom. He placed his ear against the door and listened intently with suspicion.

And so the eavesdropping began...

_**Inside Yugi and Yami's bedroom**_

_"Yami? I'm bored!!!"_

**"Well I can entertain you Little One."**

_"Really Yami?"_

**"Yes Yugi. Look down here I have something to show you."**

_"Oh Ra Yami! That certainly is a big one!"_

**"I know Yugi. Isn't it just massive!"**

_"It's OK I guess Yami, but please you have to move it or something because I don't like them there doing nothing!"_

**"No Yugi!?! Look it's just moved by itself!"**

_"Your right Yami! I wonder why it moved though?"_

**"Must of seen you I guess Yugi."**

_"Well you have to move it because it can't stay there Yami."_

**"I know where I can put it Yugi! Right there!"**

_"You mean right here Yami?"_

**"Yep. That's the spot Yugi!"**

_"Yami! It's moved again!"_

**"Oh? I know! Grab that pot over there Yugi."**

_"You mean this pot here Yami?"_

**"Right again my little light."**

_"Erm Yami? What are you going to do with it?"_

**"This Yugi!!!"**

A loud bang was heard as a hiss was heard from the bedroom. Grandpa's eyes widened in shock as he continued to listen.

_"Oww! That seems painful Yami!"_

**"I know Yugi!?! But I like it like that! You know Yugi, nice and hard."**

_"I guess you have a point there Yami."_

**"Hey Yugi? Hold still a minute."**

Another thud and bump was heard as more screams cries of enjoyment escaped the bedroom.

_"Go Yami!!! Harder! Harder!"_

More and more noises emitted from the bedroom as Grandpa's eyes seemed like they were going to bulge out of his eyes with shock.

**"Hey it's too fast!!! Yugi help here!"**

_"Then you go faster too Yami!!! Faster I say Pharaoh! Faster!"_

One last thud was heard as the noises started to calm down as quick breaths escaped the room.

_"Yami what happened?"_

**"Lets just say it's now soft and squidgy instead of hard, Yugi."**

_"Damn!?! Well it was fun whilst it lasted hey Yami?"_

The bedroom door flung open as Grandpa came in screaming "YUGI! YAMI! WHAT ARE YOU BOYS UP TO!?!"

The said boys untangled themselves from each other as they blinked in unison in confusion.

_"What are you talking about Grandpa?"_ asked the naive young short boy.

A smile danced across Yami's face as he smiled at his lights naive ness.

**"I think I understand Yugi." **he said whilst looking at the young boy. **"Yugi's Grandpa follow me over here I have something to show you."**

Grandpa agreed to the gesture from the Pharaoh and followed him towards the wall. Once there the old man realised that a pot was stuck to the wall.

Yami slowly lifted off the pot as a black smear with eight legs appeared underneath.

A spider had been brutally beaten to a soft pulp on the wall and was the cause of Yami and Yugi's cries.

Grandpa smiled in embarrassment whilst looking at Yami "I have made a HUGE mistake! Erm I best be leaving you boys alone" he said as he left the bedroom.

A chuckle came out of Yami's mouth at the statement. Yugi looked up at him wondering what was going on. Yami lowered down towards Yugi's ear and whispered something making Yugi's cheeks go red.

_"Grandpa!!! You are such a Pervert!!!"_

**(End of chapter)**

There you go the end of Chapter One so if you review I will update.

Sorry if there are any spelling mistakes because I did this late at night. Thanks again.

Bye

Yugi


	2. Joey and Seto

**A series of unfortunate 'sexual' events**

Hello again peeps and I must say this chapter is up earlier then planned because I felt I should show my dedication to updating so here is the next chapter!

I have to say this story wasn't actually going to happen because it was for a different idea but my friends found the Yugi/Yami thing funny I decided to make it into a separate story.

**I will make a few things clear**:- **1) **These are not love stories e.g. Téa/Bakura or Seto/Yami these are just mishaps that could happen in everyday life.

**2) **I will be using the ENGLISH/AMERICIAN names because I know what the Japanese names are but I'm more used to the dubbed names so I will be using them.

**3) **Each chapter will be a different couple but if you lovely people out there want a certain paring and certain scenario then please state in a review because I am doing this for you. Just because I've already done Yugi/Yami that doesn't mean I don't have to do Yami/Seto or Yugi/Ryou chapters as well. Please say if you want a certain pairing because I will do it for you.

**4) **Please review or flame if you wish so.

That's enough of that...

Now here are the review replies:-

**darkfarie 14: **Calm down dear. I didn't expect the chapter to be that funny. It was good to hear that the chapter didn't go to waste after all. Thank you for your nice review and yes I do have a sick mind because if you knew me well enough everyone would know that I can never stop talking about ideas I could do personally on Yugi and Yami. Oh well. Thanks again it was greatly appreciated.

**Aura Black Chan: **I would like to start of by saying thank you for putting my story in your favourites because it was only one chapter and yet you seemed happy with it. That was a real boost for me because I personally feel that my work is pretty shit but you helped change my mind. I am glad you agree with me about Mr Muto being a pervert because he would of been to jump to that conclusion straight away. Thanks again Aura for putting my story in your favourites and for giving a nice review. Thankies.

**Hakiri-Nefertiri: **I hope you've calmed down now because by the sounds of your review you were wetting yourself with laughter. I'm glad you found it funny because I personally thought the story idea and the chapter really wasn't that funny. You proved me wrong. I really don't want to know why you have your head down the gutter all the time but it must be something really rude if you go into the gutter often, I like your style for being rude! So the next chapter is up and I hope you find this one as funny as the last one. Thanks again for the review.

**S.Chensu and Luff: **This mainly goes to Luff because she is my best, best friend in the whole world and she's also reviewed the previous chapter unlike her sister (Don't hurt me Chen! It's the truth!!). I'm glad you found it funny because you read the original and I hope this was better then that one. I know this chapter is up quite early but the sooner I put this up the sooner I can put the next chapter up afterwards. How could you blackmail me! You won't give me presents if I mention your story! You are so mean!!! it's not my fault...ok it's all my fault! Well here's the next chapter anyway and thanks for putting mine and Mai's stories in your favourites and us actually in your favourite authors page. Thanks Pal and your review gave me good encouragement. Thankies for the review!

**Kikoken:** I only just got your review and I'm just about to update the next chapter so I got your review just in time. I'm glad it was funny for you and i'm grateful for the review. Enjoy this chapter. Thanks again and I hope you don't die laughing because then you can't review me. Thankies

_And finally this last note goes to my sis _**Mai: **Thank you for your support and I can't believe you liked my story! That is so rare for you! Oh well. Thanks for the review sis.

Right better get on with the story then...I said the disclaimer in the first chapter but I will say it one last time, I DON'T own Yu-Gi-Oh!. There done.

Read on and enjoy! Review please as well. Thanks

Yugi

**Key**

speech: Mokuba talking

**speech: **Seto/Kaiba speaking

_speech: _Joey/Jonouchi speaking

**Chapter Two:**_ Joey and Seto_

It was a wet and dark day in Domino as thick black clouds drifted along the violent indigo sky. Many colours walked the streets as numerous amounts of multi-coloured umbrellas covered the heads of the citizens rushing to get home and dry. Heavy rain drops pounded against the umbrellas fabric creating a slight calming tune, whilst footsteps trampled through glistening puddles.

Among all this noise a young boy walked quietly home carrying a bag across his small shoulders. His black/indigo hair damp with the falling rain whilst it stuck to his striped blue shirt. No umbrella in his hands as he continued to get more soaked by the minute whilst looking for his destination…Kaiba Corp headquarters.

He continued to go down the street drawing nearer towards his brothers company and home whilst the rain still continued to pour from the heavens. Mokuba was soon outside the main entrance of the company glancing up at the glass doors edged in silver which looked the same as the Blue Eyes White Dragon colour. His dark bluish grey eyes looked around at the dismal weather as he walked into the warm building.

Once Mokuba had hung up his wet bag he looked around the top floor office. The walls were once again a Blue Eyes White Dragon colour to go with the leather sofa and expensive curtains making it seamlessly obvious whos floor this was. Of course it was Seto Kaibas. He walked towards the sofa and sat his wet self down as little trickles of water dripped from his damp hair. Mokuba sat quietly whilst swinging his feet around as he said "Wonder where my big brother is?". He continued to question on his thought when he realised an item of clothing was laying over the edge of the sofa. Mokuba ran a hand over the jacket noticing a brown wallet poking out of the pocket. Being the nosey kid Mokuba was, he picked up the wallet and opened it. The first thing that caught his attention was a picture of a chestnut haired girl hugging her most precious object...her brother, Joey.

Mokuba was getting slightly suspicious now that his brother was no where in sight and that now Joey was in the same building.

"Ok...? This is weird. Where could Seto be?" Mokuba said to himself as he walked towards a door that had a certain dragon plastered on to it.

He drew nearer to the door and stopped outside the door raising his hand to knock on the door. Mokuba was about to knock when he heard people talking on the other side of the doorway.

"Wonder who my brothers talking too? Hey it sounds like Joey. Wait why would Seto be talking to Joey, of all people?!" questioned the young kaiba. A small smile appeared on his face as he started to become a bit nosey and wanted to know more. The young Kaiba had fallen into the deadly trap of eavesdropping...

_** Inside Seto's Office **_

**"So what is it then Mutt? Why is it you have come for me?"**

_"Well I was kinda bored you see Kaiba. Yugi and Yami were too busy killing spiders to play with me and everyone else is doing stuff as well."_

**"So you want me to entertain you then do you Mutt?"**

_"Well it depends really? What do you have?"_

**"Well I have many things including a very special thing..."**

_"Really?! What special thing?"_

**"It's called a pencil you Mutt!!! You know that object which is nice, hard and a substance comes out of it."**

_"Cool!!! I want one!"_

**"Well I think you already have a fine one right there Mutt."**

_"Where? Oh right here. You mean this pink/peach one?"_

**"Yes Joey aren't you a clever Dog?"**

_"Hey Kaiba! Less of the dog jokes or your gonna see this dogs bone in a minute!"_

**"Oh I can't wait to see your bone Mutt."**

_"Kaiba!"_

**"Yes? Oh shit..."**

_"Oh what's the problem Rich Boy?"_

**"You made me drop it you stupid Mutt!"**

_"Drop what?"_

**"Nothing you idiotic canine. Better go under then if I'm to get it."**

_"Get what?"_

**"You'll see in a minute Mutt!"**

A load bang was heard as a distressing cry echoed from the room that made Mokuba's face wear a look of concern and worry.

_"Oh Seto!!! You fucking bastard!!! I was sitting on that!"_

**"Well I don't like you on my property. It's far too good for the likes of you!"**

_"So why did you let me sit on it then?"_

**"Because you looked comfortable sitting on my things so I didn't want to stop you."**

_"So you do care about me after all!"_

**"Listen I only hang around with you losers is because I want those God Cards!!"**

_"Keep dreaming Kaiba!"_

**"I will! Damn I can't reach it!"**

_"Oh you mean you can't reach that!"_

**"Yes Mutt! See because I'm taller then you I find it more difficult to reach certain areas."**

_"All you had to do was ask and I would of helped ya."_

**"We help me now then Mutt!"**

_"Since you asked so nicely. So what do you want me to do then Kaiba?"_

**"First of all bend over."**

_"You mean like this?"_

**"That's a good dog. Next lean forward a bit and stretch your hand out."**

_"I got it!!! I can feel it! It's hard Seto!"_

**"Well it does belong to me Joey."**

_"Well help me then?!"_

**"Ok. Oh shit!"**

I load thump was heard as the sound of bodies clashing together was picked up by Mokuba's ears. His face grimacing and his eyes bulging out at the sound.

_"Oh Fuck that hurt."_

**"It hurt me more then it hurt you Dog."**

_"Can you please call me Joey instead."_

**"Fine...Joey."**

_"I better take my hand away then."_

**"You better! I don't want your paws on my property like I've said before."**

_"Erm Kaiba, the holes too tight my hands stuck!"_

**"Oh for the love of Ra! I'll help you just this once. Ready?"**

_"Uh. Kaiba that hurts!"_

**"Your fault for putting it in the hole!"**

_"You said you wanted me too!"_

**"Just shut up Joey."**

_"Only if you help me get my hand out from that tight passage!"_

**"Right! 3...2..."**

Just then the office door flew open as a distressed Mokuba ran into the room with beads of sweat dripping down his face. Both Kaiba and Joey looked towards the door to notice that the position they were in wasn't the best of them. Joey was bent over on all fours whilst Seto crouched over the blonde with his lower front meeting Joey's backside. it basically looked like Seto was doing Joey up the rear.

"Big Brother! Joey! What were you two doing?"questioned the young kaiba.

Seto quickly stood up as he cleared his throat as Joey laughed silently on the floor, in the process a pencil rolled out of the hole Joey's hand was previously stuck in. Seto followed the sound of the rolling pencil as the object rolled over to Mokuba and stopped as it made gentle contact with his small feet.

"Erm it seems Big Brother that I have made a BIG mistake here! I best be leaving you and Joey alone then. Eh Bye!!!" the boy said as he dashed out the room, cheeks red with embarrassment.

Joey stood up and stood next to the taller brunette as laughter escaped his mouth, Seto glared back at the blonde and then sighed.

_"Hey Kaiba, it looks like you have to teach your brother not to be a pervert. Ha ha ha ha!"_

**"It's not funny Mutt!"**

_"Yes it is, The Kaiba brothers are no more, instead we have the Perverted brothers instead! Ha ha."_

**"When I get my hands on you you're dead!"**

"Big Brother from what I heard through the door it sounded like you had your hands all over him already!"

**"MOKUBA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"**

**(End of Chapter)**

There you go the end of Chapter Two and this chapter was up earlier due to the fact of the supportive reviews I got encouraged me to update today. I hope you found this chapter as funny as the first and I hope you review as well. **Remember:- **Please say if you want a certain pairing because I will do it for you.

That is all guys and the next chapter will be up on the 13th December so you won't have to wait that long for the next exciting chapter. If there are spelling mistakes again I am sorry because this is done late at night again. Sorry.

Thanks again and review.

Bye

Yugi


	3. Ryou and Bakura

**A series of unfortunate 'sexual' events**

Right now it's time for chapter 3 and I must say that if you are the reviewers called **Jade Cade **and** Shy **you both hit the nail on the head because the characters you recommended were going to be done in this chapter anyway. Well done to you two. You get this chapter dedicated to you!

Right you know that I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! So you can't arrest me! Ha Ha!!! That's all now read on.

_**Thanks to the following people:-**_

**Jade Cade**, Sami, **fan patamon**, Mai, **Shy**, SuGaR-oN-ToP, **Rune-of-dragons**, queen-galux, **Shyan Black**, bukora's girl, **M.J. Shaman**, Princess7, **Slasher 242**, Duelgirl, **Kakos**, Honda Katsuya, **Demidevi**, jonouchi-kaiba-mokie, **Kikoken** and **whoami011 **for reviewing me and also thanks to some of you for putting this story in your favourites. Thanks again and enjoy this chapter and review again.

**Key:**

speech: Marik talking

speech: Malik talking

**speech**: Bakura talking

_speech_: Ryou talking

**Chapter Three: **_Ryou and Bakura_

Darkness, it's everywhere. It comes when the sun, the gift of Ra, sets to make for the awaiting shadows. The pitch-black substance clings onto any presence of light and follows it for all eternity. Darkness comes in many forms including shadows, the night sky but the weirdest way of all is by the means of Egyptian items. These items have brought forward the strangest human beings known to man back from the dead and some people wished they had never come back.

He walked down the road quietly as the street lights of Domino made their captivating lights illuminate the citizens as they walked by. The lone figure continued to walk by himself thinking about the things he shared in common with his friends. The most obvious one was right behind him. Like Yugi this follower protected him through any trouble and like Ryou it was darkness. This lead to only one conclusion...the follower was none other then Malik.

Malik continued to follow the boy in front of him bearing an uncanny resemblance to himself. He had the same tanned skin, the same clothes but unlike his eyes the boy in front had eyes showing little innocence but the same feelings as a young child would. This was his light, Marik.

Marik was still walking towards his friends house as he started to notice that the presence of his dark was near him. He stopped in the spot still clenching an item in his hand as a figure bumped into his back. Marik looked towards the floor and gave a glare towards his yami.

The yami glared up and gave a fake smile towards his hikari. " Hey there Marik! what are you doing out at a time like this?" questioned the yami. Marik smiled back as he held a hand out towards Malik. "I thought you knew where I was going my yami? I told you you're not allowed to watch these sort of tapes! They influence what little mind you have left!" shouted Marik. Malik gave a pout as he grabbed hold of the offered hand and stood up. He then quickly snatched the tape in Mariks hand and held it to his chest. "Marik! You're not going to give back the tape of The Care Bears! Please don't do it!!!" pleaded the psychopath yami. Marik glared at him and grabbed the tape back, whacking Malik over the head with it in the process. "NO MALIK!! I said no Care Bears and there will be no Care Bears. I can't believe Bakura lent you this tape!" shouted the light. Malik glared back at his light and a grunt escaped his mouth. "RIGHT THAT'S IT MISTER PSYCOPATH MALIK!!! YOU ARE GOING STRAIGHT HOME RIGHT NOW MISTER! NO BUT'S OR ANYTHING YOU ARE GOING STRAIGHT BACK HOME! NOW!!!" Marik fumed. Malik squeaked at his hikari's anger and ran straight back home as Marik asked him too.

"Sheesh yami's" he sighed as he drew nearer towards a house with many varieties of rose bushes outside. This was his friends house, This was the house of Ryou and Bakura.

Marik stood outside the door as he gently placed his hand round the knocker and knocked it. He waited for a few minutes and heard no reply. Marik frowned and then tried knocking one more time. Still no reply. Marik sighed and decided to take a look in the window to see if any one was inside the house at all. When he looked he noticed that a roaring fire was burning in the fireplace with pictures of two white haired boys placed around it. One picture showed a young lad with a football shirt on bearing the emblem of three blue lions. Obviously this was the England football team emblem so this meant the picture was of none other than Ryou. _(A.N: Yay go England! England's the best! Well our rugby team is but our football team I must say is actually pretty shit. Sorry 'bout the language but come on David Beckham is rubbish! Stick to good old Jonny Wilkinson! ok back to the story)_

The other person could be described as a Goth. He wore nothing but black and black only. One picture showed him in a blue and white striped shirt with a blue jacket on. This showed that the only person who would wear such an outfit was Ryou's yami, Bakura.

"Wonder were they are?" asked the young sandy blonde. He was about to walk away until he heard what sounded like a pleasurable cry emit from the house. Marik smiled "Oh. Looks like they are a bit busy and it sounds interesting too." he said to himself as he looked for an open window or something to listen through. Marik had now done the same as Grandpa and Mokuba. Marik welcome to the wonderful world of eavesdropping...

_**Inside Ryou and Bakura's house**_

**"Hey Ryou is this thing meant to leak this much?"**

_"Don't think so. Have you turned it off?"_

**"Well I never turned it on in the first place!"**

_"Don't look at me like that! I never turned it on."_

**"Well it seems to be releasing a lot of fluid to make it not be turned on."**

_"I said I never did it."_

**"I don't like liars Hikari!"**

_"So if you don't like liars why do you lie all the time then?"_

**"I don't lie!"**

_"You just did Bakura." _

**"Just shut up ok! Oh for the love of Ra why won't it stop dripping?"**

_"Well I better have a look at it then shouldn't I."_

**"Sure! Go ahead, check it out as much as you want."**

_"Fine. Let's see here!"_

A bang was heard as a army of egyptian curses flowed out of the house. Marik's smile faded and turned into worry. He continued to listen anyway.

_"What happened Bakura."_

**"You just hit my fucking head!"**

_"Well if you moved it out the way then I would be able to gain easy access to the desired area."_

**"Well sorry you snobby hikari!"**

_"Fine if you think you're so clever you do it instead!"_

**"Ryou I can't do it myself!"**

_"Sheesh! It's easy you stupid tombrobber. Just follow my instructions ok?"_

**"Fine."**

_"Right to start of you have to open it. That's it Bakura you're doing well."_

**"Oh I know what to do now. Right Ryou I want a screw right now."**

_"Whatever for?"_

**"To tighten the nut you see. If it's tight the more likely it's not going to leak everywhere."**

_"Fine. Have you finished yet?" _

**"Nope I need a screw right here, right now!" **

_"Ok. I'll give you one really quickly."_

Marik was starting to panic a bit over the sounds that sounded like they were coming form the Kitchen. He leapt off the porch and dashed into the garden.

**"Ah. That's better Ryou."**

_"Well it's not dripping anymore. That's a good sign."_

**"We will have to see about that. Right when I say so I want you to twist and turn the knob whilst I'm going to release this ok?"**

_"Got ya! Ready Bakura?"_

**"Ready! Turn it now!"**

"NO STOP! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANYMORE!"

The white haired boys turned round and noticed that their tanned egyptian friend was banging outside the kitchen window. "Please Bakura, Ryou stop screwing it's hurting my ears!" pleaded Marik.

Ryou frowned as he replied "We were not doing anything along those lines Marik!". Marik opened his eyes and glanced inside the house "You're not?". When he looked he noticed that his two friends were around a sink. Ryou had a hand placed over a knob of a tap whilst Bakura was holding a screw whilst sitting under the sink near the pipes. Marik looked closer towards the pipe and noticed a clear liquid was dripping from the pipe...water. Ryou and Bakura were fixing a leaking tap.

"Well look at the time? It seems it's past my bedtime and i forgot to give you back your Care Bears tape. Well...erm...you see...er I best be going. See you later guys and sorry for the slight mistake I made. Bye!" Marik shouted as he sprinted out of the garden with a face as red as a tomato, dropping the video tape in the process.

_"Sheesh is it me or has the world turned perverted!" _Ryou asked his yami. Bakura just smiled back and a chuckle escaped his mouth. _"What's funny Bakura?"._ The tombrobber continued to laugh **"Imagine that! The Pharaoh a pervert! Even better Yugi's Grandpa or the best one yet Mokuba! Ha ha ha"**. Ryou placed his head in his hand and sighed.

_"This just isn't my night!"_

**(End of Chapter)**

That's the end of Chapter Three!

Thank you for reading and I hope it was as funny as the others. I am very grateful for your reviews and also for your ideas of future chapters, I will hopefully do all of them including the Grandpa/Pegasus on as well.

**I need your help again: **To get all these stories done I need ideas of the things the characters could be doing that makes them sound like they are doing naughty things. You can still give ideas of pairings including girl/girl, boy/girl and boy/boy ideas but please I now need your help on what they could be doing e.g. like Yami and Yugi were killing a spider and Joey and Seto were getting a pencil. Please help me!!!

That is all and the next chapter should be up on **17th December**. Please review because it makes me happy.

Thankies

Yugi


	4. Tristan and Duke

**A series of unfortunate 'sexual' events**

Yay I'm finally off School and it's time for Chapter 4 and can you believe I already have **44 reviews **for this story. Didn't know that the story would be that popular! So thank you everyone and to those who have favourited this. So read on to read the next chapter!

**Don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! Kazuki Takahashi does!!! **

**Review Thanks to the following: **queen-qalux, Jade Cade, Hakiri-Nerfertiri, whoami011, autumnburn, Aura Black Chan, fan patamon, SuGaR-oN-ToP, Shy, Eye-of-Misery, Sami, jonouchi-kaiba-mokie, LunaP TSB, MewMewSoshia, Aoi Dragon and Slasher 242. Thanks for your positive comments!

**For Aoi Dragon:** I read that story and I loved that one with Yami getting changed. Priceless indeed! Really my story can't be better then that work of art? Be honest! Right if I recall correctly in your review you think that I was insulting Priest Seto, well I was aiming the comment more at Seto Kaiba then his ancient self. I think Kaiba is basically a sore loser but if you like him you can. I know about the preist being Pharaoh Atemu's cousin because I am obsessed with Yugi, Yami and Atemu! I know that Yami and Atemu are the same person but I think that they should be separate people! I don't really know much about the last series with them back in Ancient Egypt because over here in England we are only in the 3rd series (Waking the Dragons) so we haven't seen the series you are talking about. I know what happens but I just haven't watched it. Sorry if you felt insulted about my negative Seto comment but I'm a Yugi, Yami and Atemu fan whilst your a Seto, Priest Seth fan. I still hate Seto all the same though!

That's all. Enjoy

Yugi

**Key**

Speech: Pegasus Talking

Speech: Yami Talking

SPEECH: Yugi Talking

**Speech: **Duke/Otogi Talking

_Speech: _Tristan/Honda Talking

**Chapter Four:**_ Tristan and Duke_

The bell rang 3:10 as herds of children exited the Domino school grounds. Many students with blonde, ginger, brown and even tri-coloured hair walked out of the schools iron gates as flocks of sea gulls circled the sky waiting for any scrap piece of food to drop onto the floor.

Every student had left the school as the head teacher, Mr Tsuruoka _(A.N: I didn't make up the name by the way. This was another character from Yu-Gi-Oh! and is the teacher that appears in the Graphic Novel 5. If you are one of the lucky peeps like me who owns Graphic Novels the teacher is from Duel 41: Let's find "Love"!_ _That is all!)_ pulled the gates shut as a silver haired man walked past the school. The passing man waved a friendly gesture at the head teacher as his other hand was tucked into his plum suit. The head teacher waved back as he drove off in his smart blue BMW whilst the man continued to walk down the dimly lit road.

He was still wondering around until he stopped at a small game shop at the corner of the street. The shop with it's bold yellow walls, green roofing, and large red words saying 'GAME' seemed rather familiar to the young man as this was the Muto Residence.

He stood outside the entrance and straightened the green string bow that was tied around his neck. The man opened the door with a squeak as he walked towards a young tri-coloured boy that was sitting at the till, absently minding his own business. He cleared his throat and asked the boy at the till "Yugi Muto? Is that you?". The boy that was asked raised his head to look into the mans brown eyes, as his own crimson eyes glared at him. This was no 'Yugi Muto' this was Yami.

Yami snarled as he asked "What do you want?". The asked man sighed and then gave a light chuckle as he looked at the growling 'youth', even though he was older then him. "Well it's good to see you Yami Boy. My haven't you grown? I say you are at least a centimetre taller then when I last saw you." asked the silver haired man. He pulled his hand out of his plum suit pocket and gave a sheet of paper to the past Pharaoh. Yami looked blankly at the paper as he noticed that it was a contract on the game 'Duel Monsters'. "What's this about Pegasus?" asked the confused 5000 year old boy as he frowned at the document. Pegasus sighed once again as he looked at Yami and asked "Is Yugi Boy around at all?". Yami looked at Pegasus and growled again "You are not going anywhere near Yugi", lowering his voice dangerously. Pegasus raised a silver eyebrow and tisked at Yami, "Why my dear Yami Boy do you still have that grudge against me after Duelist Kingdom? That was in the past yet you still hate me after all this time." "Of course I would still dispise you!!! You made Yugi's Grandpa lose his soul, same with Mokuba and Kaiba who I really couldn't give a shit about! I also believe you tried taking my soul and you made Yugi pass out! So yeah of course we would be best buddies after that wouldn't we Mr Maximillion Pegasus?" mocked the pissed off Pharaoh.

"YAMI!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!!" asked the real Yugi Muto as he stormed down the stairs grabbing hold of the Pharaohs ear and shouting in it. The younger boy looked at Pegasus and showed sorrow in his amethyst eyes and said " SORRY ABOUT THAT PEGASUS. YOU SEE YAMI STILL HAS A FEW ISSUES TO SORT OUT! DON'T YOU YAMI?" as he glanced at the wincing Yami that he was holding the ear of. "Yugi...ow...Why are you forgiving...ow...that...ow...jerk...ow...Pegasus? Please let go of my...ouch...ear?" pleaded the Pharaoh. "NOT UNTIL YOU SAY SORRY TO HIM!" ordered Yugi as he pulled harder at Yami's ear. "Oh for the love of Ra...ow...I'm sor...sorry Pegasus!" sighed Yami as he soon felt blood returning to the released, offended ear. "THAT WASN'T SO DIFFERCULT NOW WAS IT YAMI? SO WHAT IS IT YOU WANTED PEGASUS?" asked the innocent youth. "Well Yugi Boy as you know I created Duel Monsters and you two are the most popular and famous duelists so I need you two to advertise my new booster packets and decks coming out." sad Pegasus as he looked at the young boy and the stroppy Pharaoh next to him. "YOU MEAN PHOTO SHOOT AND FILMING? OF COUSRE WE..."

"Won't"

"ER HEM! WE WILL DO IT PEGASUS AND JUST IGNORE MR BRUSH ARSE OVER THERE!" smiled Yugi as he heard his yami snarl behind him. _(A.N DO NOT COPY THE PHRASE 'BRUSH ARSE' BECAUSE THAT WAS ESPECALLY MADE FOR YAMI BY MY TWO FRIENDS S.CHENSU AND LUFF. DO NOT COPY OR STEAL IT!!! Thanks for the name mates! That's all). _Pegasus smiled back and shook the shorter boys hand in agreement. He was about to shake hands with the stubborn Yami but thought best not to after he saw the Eye of Ra slowly appearing on the Pharaoh's head. He cleared his throat and said " Well it was a pleasure doing business with you boys and Yami I hope we can start a new slate? Better go I have to give the same contract to Duke about his 'Dungeon Dice Monsters' game." as he walked out of the shop and towards the Black Crown Game Shop _(A.N: I think that's the name of the shop)_ aka Duke's shop. Yugi turned towards Yami and pouted at him "YAMI YOU ARE SO RUDE SOMETIMES!" he sighed. Yami smiled back at his light and hugged him "But I don't trust him! He's just evil!" snarled Yami as he and Yugi were closing the shop for the night. "I KNOW! BUT JUST BE NICE TO HIM FOR ME!!" pleaded the short light to his darker half. Yami nodded dolefully, which Yugi noticed and said "CHEER UP YAMI!! HOW ABOUT WE 'KILL SOME SPIDERS' HINT HINT?" which placed a smirk on Yami's face as both boys ran up the stairs to begin their nightly 'spider killing'.

Pegasus was soon outside the Black Crown Game Shop as he noticed that the person he was looking for had just gone down the lift that was near the counter. He quickly ran inside the shop and sprinted towards the lift but was too late as Duke and a person with brown hair had gone to the basement. Pegasus moaned in frustration as he walked back towards the till and thought about the lad that was accompanying the black haired boy. This lad was wearing a black jacket and white shirt whilst his hair was gelled into one spike at the front. This only meant it was one person...Tristan Taylor.

"Wonder what Tristan Boy is doing here with Dukey Boy? Hey I could go down those stairs and find Dukey Boy. Right off I go then." Pegasus said as he walked down the flight of stairs leading to the basement. He was coming towards the bottom step when he heard talking coming from the two lads. "Well, well what could the two boys be doing I wonder?" said Pegasus to himself as he started to listen to the conversation. Like they say you can't teach an old dog new tricks and obviously you can't teach a multi-millionaire not to eavesdrop. It's time to e-e-e-eavesdrop! _(A.N: Couldn't resist mate. That's what Yami would say instead of d-d-d-duel!. Read on!)_

_**Inside the basement with Tristan and Duke**_

_"So you are going to teach me how to do this or not?"_

**"Fine then Tristan I will teach you how to do this properly."**

_"I'm all yours master."_

**"Good. Right firstly lets start of with the easy part. Select your items."**

_"You mean these coloured things. What flavour are these?"_

**"Sorry Tristan. They aren't flavoured but I'm on my way of getting some just for you."**

_"So they do flavoured ones? Oh sounds interesting. Tell me more on how to do this then."_

**"Right after you have selected your coloured items you place them in that hole there right in front of you."**

_"This one. Got ya! Right all in. Now what?"_

**"Sheesh your too fast for a beginner! Slow down will you!"**

_"But you said place it in the hole and that's what I did! What's wrong with that then?"_

**"Well your a novice in this department so let me start ok. I need to adjust to your skill."**

_"Well hurry up already. I can't wait this long you know! I thought you were good at this?"_

**"Well after I did this against that other Yugi I kinda have lost the ability to do this as good as I used to."**

_"You mean Yami. Well I'm going to help you do this again!!"_

**"Right on. Next you see that slot..."**

_"Oh this one."_

**"Yep, pull the items out of it!"**

_"Erm I have a problem here! My hands stuck!"_

**"But I made these slots so anyone can put their hands into them."**

_"Well obviously your slot isn't big enough for my hand! Help me here!"_

Light tapping was heard through out the room as sounds of movement and discomfort echoed through the room. The smile that was once plastered across Pegasus's face disappeared as thoughts appeared in his head.

**"I see what you mean. Right I'm going to pull and my self away from you hoping that you will ease out ok. Ready?"**

**  
**_"Ready! Pull Duke!"_

**"Ugn..ah you're right in tight!"**

_"Ugn. I don't want to be stuck in here forever!"_

**"How can you say that?! It's me who's suffering here!"**

_"Well sorry Mister Tight Slot!"_

**"Ugn...It's not coming...ugn...out!"**

_"Well do it harder then!"_

**"That's your job!"**

_"Well I will do it harder then! Why can't you put something slippery on it?"_

**"You should of thought of that before you put it in there!"**

_"Oh Duke! It's happening it's realising!"_

**"Yes I feel it as well!"**

_"Ugn...3...2...1...AH AH AH!"_

**"We did it!"**

_"I feel so much better now!"_

"Er Hem. Sorry to disturb your antics but I believe I have come at the wrong time?" questioned Pegasus who had suddenly appeared out of the staircase. Duke and Tristan looked at Pegasus and dropped the dice that were in Tristan's hand. These weren't any dice...These were dice for the game 'Dungeon Dice Monsters'. Even though Duke was stuck underneath Tristan making it look like he had just done him up the backside the dice made it very clear that Duke was teaching Tristan how to play his favourite game.

Pegasus blushed and picked up a black dice that had rolled over to his white shoe. He picked it up and noticed all the different crests that were on it. A movement crest, magic crest, summon crest and others as well. He looked back at the boys and started to walk back upstairs saying "Well seems that my mind went into the gutter that time! I think I will leave you to your games and that will mean I won't make the same BIG mistake again. Goodbye boys!" and he was gone.

Tristan looked down at Duke and Duke looked up at Tristan. Their breath was slow and even in pace. Lips only a little bit apart. The moment was perfect. Their eyes locked and they lost each other in their own eye colour. Duke was the first to speak **"Tristan?" **The said boy looked at him and replied _"Yes?". _

**"Get off me!!"**

**(End of Chapter)**

Another chapter finished and Christmas is coming soon! yay! Next chapter will be a special Christmas edition and the couple will be very wrong!! Thanks to **jonouchi-kaiba-mokie **for the next chapter idea. Any poor Grammer or Spelling is due to me typing before 'Little Britain' so I was in a rush. Soz if it's poor.

Actually would you guys prefer it if I gave you two options every chapter and the one with most votes I do? Say if you want me to do this or not? Say so please in a review.

That's all apart from REVIEW please!! and Keep those ideas coming!

Next Chapter is up on...**25th December!!** It's a Christmas special!! My Christmas Present to you all will be up on Christmas Day.

Thanks!

Yugi


	5. Grandpa and Pegasus

**A series of unfortunate 'sexual' events**

Hello I'm back again and can you believe it's Christmas Day!!!!! Merry Christmas everyone!!! I'm really happy at the moment because of the following reasons:-

**1) **The Yu-Gi-Oh! movie is coming out on DVD and Video on the 27th December and I'm going to get it. I loved that film it came out in August and I saw it twice in the cinema!! I also own the official soundtrack to that movie as well. You have to see it if you are a very obsessed fan like me!!

**2) **It's my birthday in 2 weeks which means I'm officially 16!! Yes I love January!! I will update on my birthday especially for you but I will update before that as well.

**3) **It's CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now it's time for the review replies.

**mellinde: **Hope you have recovered from your near death experience and I hopefully will do a Seto/Yami chapter but I must say I actually hate that couple. I feel it should only be Yugi/Yami and no one else. Thanks for the review and have a nice Christmas!!

**queen-galux: **Hey I don't mind being called a freak because I practically get bullied everyday because of my last name and for liking Yu-Gi-Oh!. I am always getting bullied for being me but at least you lot like the stuff I do. Thanks for the review and enjoy this chapter. Merry Christmas.

**GuardianSuri: **I'm glad you found the chapter funny and I hope you enjoy this one just as much. Hope you have a nice Christmas and I'm glad you like the story.

**yami: **Thanks for the review, even though it was slightly weird. Merry Christmas.

**autumnburn: **Glad you like my story and here's the next chapter for you. Enjoy and Merry X-Mas.

**Flaring Emerald: **I watch the dubbed version of Yu-Gi-Oh! so to me Marik is the hikari and Malik is the yami. Me and my English chums discussed this and they agree with me. Sorry if you think it's wrong but either way it's right. Thanks for the review and I'm glad you liked it. Merry Crimbo.

**Starlight Queen: **Scary? Well if you thought that chapter was scary wait till you read this one. Thanks for the review and enjoy this chapter. Merry Christmas!

**Hikiri-Nefertiri: **You're becoming one of my regulars with my story and I'm glad you liked it. I like it when I get good reviews for my story and I hope you enjoy this very wrong chapter. Have a nice Christmas!!

**Sami: **Glad you liked the chapter but this is my story only I'm afraid. Me and Mai may be sisters but this is my own work and Mai's is her story 'Yami's of Torture'. I'm happy you found this funny and hope you like this chapter. Merry Crimbo!

**jonouchi-kaiba-mokie: **Thanks for the review and enjoy this chapter. This is your idea so this is dedicated to you. Enjoy this chapter and enjoy today because it's Christmas Day. Thanks again.

That's all and enjoy this special Christmas Chapter which is full of festive 'fun'.

Thanks everyone and this chapter is dedicated to **jonouchi-kaiba-mokie **because they came up with this chapter idea. Merry Christmas everyone!!

**Don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! Kazuki Takahashi does!!**

**Yugi**

**Key**

_Speech: _Grandpa Talking

**Speech: **Pegasus Talking

Speech: Téa Talking

Speech: Yugi Talking

**Speech:** Yami Talking

**Chapter Five: **_Grandpa and Pegasus_

Twas the night before christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even...well that's how it's meant to go anyway. The truth was that in the City of Domino people were 'driving home for christmas' and 'rocking around the christmas tree' as youths dressed up as kinky Santa's and headed towards the J'z Club. _(A.n: Don't own the J'z club because that is in volume 2 of the Yu-Gi-Oh! Graphic novel. It's in the Chapter called Duel 11: The Wild Gang. Actually does anyone who reads this have any Yu-Gi-Oh! Graphic novels? That's all) _

Among this crowd of deviant teens a young girl with chestnut, shoulder length hair walked among the people wearing a short red skirt with white fluff around the edge. Along with the skirt she wore a low cut top with the same trimming as the skirt round the edge of it. A santa hat was placed neatly upon her head as the little jingle bell on the end rattled quietly with her strides. Small blue eyes _(A.n: Well smaller then Yugi's eyes anyway) _looked around the area as small flakes of snow dropped from the oil painted sky. She sighed as the cold winter weather nipped at her skin causing goose bumps to appear on her flesh. The place she was looking for couldn't be any further could it?

Téa was still wondering until she saw her friend's house with tinsel and christmas lights sparkling a faint light. She smiled as she drew nearer the porch noticing that a certain hyper, short friend was bouncing towards the door.

The door opened to reveal a very ecstatic Yugi. A huge grin was across his face whilst he waved happily at his childhood friend. _(A.n: Unlike some people I actually like Téa but her speeches do become annoying after a while. But has anyone noticed she isn't the only one who gives friendship speeches in the show. I believe Yugi does too? But Yugi is better then Téa. The only reason I don't like Téa is because she loves Yugi and Yami and vice versa. It's not meant to be!! Only Yugi should love Yami and only Yami should love Yugi. Yugi/Yami 4 eva. Soz about that read on -) _Téa waved back and noticed that Yugi was wearing his blue pj's. _(A.N: If you don't know what that means you must sleep in the nude! Or be very dumb?)_ Yugi noticed that Téa was all dressed up looking like she was going out but why was she here?

"Erm Téa why are you here?"  questioned the short Hikari. His friend looked up at the short innocent and smiled at him. "Oh me, Joey and the rest of the gang are going to the J'z Club and we were wondering if you wanted to come with us?" asked Téa in reply. Yugi looked at the floor ans sighed but that grin was still across his face as he gave his friend a hug. "Sorry Téa but Yami has...a 'cold'...and he needs someone to look after him. Also it's Christmas eve so Santa Claus is coming soon!!! Yay Presents!!" Smiled Yugi as he jumped for joy. Téa couldn't help but smile back at her friend, he truly was innocent if he still believed in Father Christmas!!!!! _(A.N: Kids you did not hear that!!! Of course Father Christmas is real?!? Or not but if you still think he is then he is? Ok that didn't make sense. Read on!) _"Well if Yami's ill it's for the best that I leave you two alone. Have a nice Christmas and i'll see you guys tomorrow. Actually one thing Yugi?" asked Téa. Yugi looked at her in confusion. "Why do you seem flushed and why is your shirt hanging off your shoulders like that?" Yugi eeped as his secret might be found out. "Erm it's nothing Téa you go ahead and enjoy yourself. See you tomorrow." He waved as he shut the door sighing when she left.

**"Who was that Aibou?"**

"Oh it's no one Yami, but we have to be more careful from now on ok? Right where were we?" Soon the City of Domino was quiet apart from the sounds of a Pharaoh and his light. Christmas was coming soon.

**Christmas Day _(Yay Merry Christmas!! To everyone!!!)_**

Everyone had opened their presents as all of Yugi's friends were round his house basking in the friendly christmas spirit. Yami, Malik and Bakura were discussing about the past and also what it felt like to have their first christmas. Joey was getting redder at the second as Tristan and Duke were talking about the accident in Kaiba's office. Seto was just laughing _(A.N: For the love of RA!! Seto laughing!! That would take a miracle!!!!) _at the fact that Joey actually liked the 5 cans of Dog Food he brought for him and the collar and leash. Mokuba was still puzzled why his big brother had brought Joey those items and also about what his other friends had brought each other. Duke had given a sex dice to Tristan and it was a special Gay Addition. Bakura had got Ryou a plumbers kit and uniform which seemed pretty revealing. Marik had kindly given Malik a whole series of Care Bears DVD's, Seto got Joey a dog collar, leash and Dog Food whilst Joey had got the CEO a whole supply of pencils so he would never lose his again. Finally Yugi had got a special insect swatter for Yami but it seemed a bit big for the average bug. Something Kinky is going on here?!?

Yugi was happily sitting in Yami's lap as all the Christmas dinner was eaten and soon sounds of indigestion was heard across the room. Bakura, Ryou, Marik and Malik had left the room as Joey, Seto, Duke and Tristan followed them. This only left Téa, Yami, Yugi, Pegasus and Grandpa in the room with all the eaten food and a bone turkey. Téa ran a hand through her hair and left the table hearing the T.V in the lounge being put on with a special comedy for Christmas. Yugi was silently drifting away _(A.N: That sounds like that song on Shaman King. See if you remember this from it...Taking you over to the other side, You won't be back because it's a one way ride, Float Away, Float Away to Spirit Land!!. Couldn't resist it and also I want to see if anyone is clever enough to work out who does the voice of one of the singing twins. Just think of a certain shortly from Yu-Gi-Oh! and then you'll have the answer! Good luck!) _into a blissful sleep but not until he heard the theme tune of a program he liked to watch, 'Little Britain'. _(A.N: A very good comedy but it's only shown in Britain I'm afraid) _Yami noticed that the little bundle in his lap seemed to of become fidgety as he and his hikari decided to investigate what had caught the little ones attention. This only left Grandpa and Pegasus alone in the dinning room with only a bone turkey for company. They both looked at each other and noticed something they both desired. They both leapt off their seats and ran to each other to cause them to make a little bit of noise that was loud enough for the ears of the Pharaoh to hear. Yami walked back towards the room they were previously in only to hear moans. He stood outside the room as his chains rustled as he stood still. Poor Yami-Kins he was the next victim of the horrible sin known as eavesdropping. Oh what has he done?!?

_**Inside Dinning room with Grandpa and Pegasus**_

_"Well it looks like it's just you and me Pegsy."_

**"It seems that is true old man. I have an idea what we can do."**

_"Thank God someone has an idea!! Has it got something to do with that very hard bone you are looking at by chance?"_

**"Well yes it has something to do with that large bone. I believe you know how it's meant to go?!"**

_"Oh you mean that idea!!"_

**"You may be old Mr Muto but you seem to have enough energy to fulfil my desire."**

_"Fine Pegasus I except!!"_

**"Right as it's your bone I will let you start!"**

_"Thank you young man! I have this in my hand so you do what you know you have to do and I do it vice versa."_

**"3, 2, 1, GO!!"**

_"Ah for the love of God!!!!!! This is hard!!!"_

Outside Yami was smirking to himself with the comments made but started to get a bit worried with the last comment. Why would Yugi's Grandpa go for Pegasus? The Pharaoh let a snarl escape his mouth at the thought of Pegasus in the same house, he still hated that man after Duellist Kingdom. He continued to listen anyway.

**"Ah! Grandpa you are so hard!! This bone could last a life time."**

_"Well I normally do this with Yugi but he's not as hard as you are!"_

**"Actually I wouldn't mind seeing how hard Yugi Boy is, but I would have to try the Pharaoh first!"**

_"Oh well. Did you feel that?"_

**"Oh it's realising!! Harder we have to see who has the biggest bone out of us two."**

_"Ah I'm trying. You have a tight grip Pegasus!!"_

**"It's breaking!! Right even harder now!!"**

_"Going as hard as I can. Wait it's nearly off!"_

Ok now Yami had beads of sweat down his face. What was breaking and what were they doing in there? He was going to walk away but he heard a load 'SNAP' emit from the room and this caused him to stay in the spot.

**"Yes. Ah sweet realise!! Who won?"**

_"You know whoever has the bigger bone wins right?"_

**"Yep. Come over here and we will have a look!"**

_"I'm coming. Right...damn yours is bigger!"_

**"But yours is more firmer!"**

_"Lets do it again! We have to wait for you to get another bone first!"_

**"I'll enjoy that just as much as this one!"**

_"I love Chr-"_

**"You leave him alone Pegasus!!!"**

Both men looked towards to see a very traumatized Pharaoh by the door. His palms were white and it looked like he was on the edge of fainting. Grandpa stood up from Pegasus's lap and dropped the Turkey bone on the floor. _(A.N: If you didn't get that whole Turkey thing it is custom in Britain and maybe other countries to have two people have an end of the Turkey hip bone and pull it. Whoever gets the bigger end of the bone gets to have a wish. Hope you get it now) _Yami watched as the bone fell to the floor and the position Grandpa and Pegasus were in. He was trying to register all the information but he was getting very dizzy which made him light-headed. Yami took one last look at the dumbfounded men and then his world went black as he fainted. Grandpa quickly ran to the Pharaoh as he hit the floor. Pegasus walked over and just tutted at the boy. **"What have you told your boys about eavesdropping?" **asked Pegasus. Grandpa just nodded but picked up a wine glass form the table. _"Cheers Pegasus!" _Grandpa smiled. Pegasus also picked up a glass and agreed to the toast.

**"Merry Christmas Everyone!"**

**(End Of Chapter)**

Hope you enjoyed this Christmas special and hope it wasn't too wrong for you. Sorry if Grammar and Spelling is wrong but be nice it's Christmas after all. Right I need your help in what you want the next chapter to be.

Next chapter do you want: **Yami/Seto **or **Marik/Malik**.

leave your vote in a review and then the next chapter will be one of them two. Pick carefully!! That's all and have a **Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!**

Special Chrsitmas greetings to **S.Chensu and Luff **and **Lia Xaragi **who me and Mai are good chums with and also are friends with them in real life and on this website. Please read their stories which are in our profile and I hope you guys have a nice crimbo. C ya guys soon and thanks for being good friends to us.

**Next chapter up on the 31st December!!!**

Yugi


	6. Marik and Malik

**A series of unfortunate 'sexual' events**

Yugi: Hello everyone and it's time for another update and this chapter was decided by you lot and I didn't change it in anyway. Right I just need someone to say the results for me?

Mai: Can I do it sis?

Yugi: Why should I let you do it then?

Mai: Well if you don't I'll rip up your 8 Yu-Gi-Oh! posters and your Dark Magician Girl card!!!

Yugi: No!!! Fine you can read the results...

Mai: The votes were close but today's chapter with 7 votes is...Marik and Malik.

Yugi: YES!!!!! CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES COME ON!!! Er sorry 'bout that I hate Yami/Seto pairings but they only got 5 votes.

Mai: Ah sorry Yami/Seto fans it was never meant to be.

Yugi: Yep and if you want someone to blame well it's Mai because she was the last person to vote and she picked...

Mai: MARIK AND MALIK!! All the things I want to do to them in bed...

Yugi: You're too young...so am I actually

Mai: Ah boo hoo.

Yugi: Shut up! Look isn't that Tala over there?

Mai: Where? Bye Yugi I have things to take care of.

Yugi: Bye. Right time for the thank you's.

**Hakiri-Nerfertiri: **What's wrong with Grandpa being with Pegasus? Apart from the fact Pegasus is 27, it's the truth he is 27 and Grandpa is 72. Oh if anyone wants to look that up go to it tells you everyone's birthdays. It sounds wrong but don't forget Yami's 5000 (or 3000 depends what series your watching) and Yugi's 16 so that's a huge difference. But you agree with me about Téa!! YES YUGI/YAMI ALL THE WAY!!! You sounded like my friend **Luff** when you said you were worried about the couple, you see she doesn't like the idea of one of my other stories couple...Yugi/Yami/Atemu. Well I'm glad the chapter made you happy and I hope this one does too. Happy New Year and thank you.

**Speaking of my friend _Luff_ she is very talented in typing and so is her sister _S.Chensu_ and I feel that their stories are way better then mine. Please would you be so kind and read their story called The Pressures of Life. Luff is my best friend and this is one of the things I could do for her. Their stories are on our profile so please have a look at their stories. Thank you.**

**autumnburn: **Well here's the next chapter and because you said either pairing I put in for both. I'm glad you liked the chapter but it if there were a lot of spelling mistakes I'm sorry because I wrote it at 6 in the morning on Christmas Day. Hope you got the presents you wanted and have a good 2005.

**Yakari Taito: **Thanks for the vote but sadly more people preferred the psychopath pairing then the very wrong pairing (Yami/Seto). Vote again at the bottom of the chapter. Thanks and Happy New Year.

**Aoi Dragon: **Sorry but it's Marik and Malik i'm afraid. I just hate Yami/Seto but I didn't change the votes in anyway. You will get another chance to vote for that pairing again. Enjoy this chapter and hope you enjoy 2005.

**April: **Your like my sister because she finds them sexy and has a crush on them. It's actually perfectly normal to have a crush on a anime character because they are drawn to perfection. No offence but Malik and Marik aren't really that attractive nor are Bakura and Ryou but if you fancie them good for you. I find Yami and Yugi very sexy and there are many things I want to do with them two but please don't be ashamed for fancing a Yu-Gi-Oh! character. Hope you like this chapter and have a Happy New Year.

**Kay-Dee-S: **Slashy? Sorry to sound very stupid but please tell me what you meant by slashy? Sorry if the chapter isn't Yami/Seto (Thank Ra) but you get another chance at the end of the chapter. Thanks and Happy New Year.

**Ranma Higurashi: **You might of worked out something there but all will be revealed in the last chapter which is ages away. Enjoy the chapter and thanks for the review.

**RyouChan: **Ryou/Yugi wasn't an option but in this chapter it is an option so go down and read the chapter. Then click the very pretty purple button and type in Ryou/Yugi. Thanks for the review and Happy New Year.

**sami: **Well you have you're favourite pairing to read this chapter and I think I'm using your idea for the actually eavesdropping event as well which means **the chapter is dedicated to you.** Thanks for the review and Happy New Year.

**jonouchi-kaiba-mokie: **Thumbs up to you because I agree with the whole Yami/Seto thing. It was never meant to be because the hate each other so much. Yami belongs to Yugi and Seto belongs to Joey. Yami/Yugi and Seto/Joey. Thanks for agreeing with me and here is the next chapter. I'm glad someone actually has the graphic novels otherwise no one would of understood what the hell I was going on about. Happy New Year.

**Flaring Emerald: **No I wasn't offended I was just saying my point that's all. Sorry if I offended you. Do the Jap Sub episodes have the same voice actors as the dubbed episodes or are they spoken in Japanese. Haven't watched any of the subbed episodes but we are only on the 3rd Yu-Gi-Oh! series in the dubbed series (Waking the Dragons) so we are quite a way off 'till the end and I say the very last episode is very upsetting! England is so slow at getting these episodes! Oh well hope you like this chapter and happy new year.

**mellinde: **No please don't die because then I can't get your reviews. Glad you liked the chapter but sadly this chapter isn't Yami/Seto. Have another go at the end of the chapter to get that pairing. Thanks again and have a cool 2005.

**m&m: **I had a feeling when I read your pename that you liked the Marik/Malik pairing so here it is. Hope you like it. Have a good new year.

**Duelgirl: **Sorry if I'm updating too late but I have other stories that I'm typing so I have to space out my time on those different stories. I will try to update where I will only leave a 3 day gap in between. So basically every Wednesday and Saturday but I will do this to British time so sorry if it comes to anyone on a Thursday or Sunday. The other reason why I update later is because I have reached that age in live were those mean things called teachers give you coursework over the holidays and also I have very important exams (according to the teachers) that will take place in May and I'm revising for it at the moment. Damn GSCE's and also I'm drawing a lot of Yugi/Yami pictures in my school art sketch book which I'm not sure if I'm allowed to do it or not? Oh well enjoy this chapter and have a nice New year.

**Mai Valkov (or to me my annoying very smart sister Mai): **So did you want me to do Yami/Seto in this chapter or was it Marik/Malik? Oh yes Marik/Malik! Thank you for saving me from writing a torture known as the evil Yami/Seto pairing and also would you do me a favour...**STOP SAYING I FANCIE SILVA (SHAMAN KING) AND KRATOS (TALES OF SYMPHONIA) BECAUSE THEY SOUND LIKE YAMI AND YUGI'S VOICE. I KNOW SILVA'S VOICE IS ACTUALLY DONE BY THE SAME VOICE ACTOR (Dan Green) BUT I'M NOT SURE ABOUT KRATOS. SO I DON'T FANCIE THEM** **OK!. **Thanks for the review.

There you go and as you can tell I'm very sad because I know all the voice actors names and what other animes they are in...so in other words I'm very, very sad. If there's a character you like and you want to know the voice actors name and what other animes they are in just say so but that proves I am very sad. Right now onto the story.

I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! _(damn) _Kazuki Takahashi does _(Lucky Guy)_

Enjoy.

Yugi

**Key**

speech: Ishizu/Isis Talking

**speech: **Malik/Yami Marik Talking

_speech: _Marik/Mariku Talking

speech: Odion/Rishid Talking

**Chapter Six: **_Marik and Malik_

In life many people tend to say we are different and no two people are the same, but is this true. Did they really look at the facts because there are many things that make us the same. Girls wear tarty short skirts and dollops of make up placed around there face. _(A.N: Sounds like that Bitch Lacey who goes to my school! She makes every boy in the lesson pull her thong and insists on sucking on a lolly pop all through the day. You're lucky if you don't know her!) _Boys tend to wear the usual football shirt and the very important baseball cap upon their head, yet people say we are different. We all go to work and school but there is one thing that nobody in the entire planet enjoys to do... clean their bedrooms.

It was a busy day in the Domino Museum as guards started to close the Egyptian exhibits for the night. Among these guards a women with long, sleek black hair with a simple band placed through it. Her body was tanned as her aquamarine eyes looked at a tablet in a glass display. Upon this tablet there was a battle scene between a hot sexy Pharaoh and a not so hot High Priest which was basically the duel of all time. This tablet was the reason that this women had first appeared in the City of Domino. She had arrived with her younger brother and her adopted bother to get rid of the darkness that lurked within. Sadly this darkness still lives with them but he has had a change of heart ever since he watched his favourite Care Bears DVD. This darkness was her brothers light Malik and ever since he turned up Marik had become more secretive and always ended up looking flushed every morning. Ishizu always had her ideas but she always asked Odion to keep a close eye on the two boys these days because of them hanging around more with the Tombrobber known as Bakura. She had no problems with Ryou but it was the fact that she felt that all Yami's had been setting bad examples for their lights.

Ishizu walked out the museum as the sky stated to become a range of colours as Ra was setting down for another day. She smiled and then started to walk down the road towards her house. As she continued to walk she thought of all the things the Yami's had done to their hikari's turn them from sweet innocent little lights into very different people. Yugi was before a very sweet and charming lad but ever since Yami was around it looked like the short boy had started to wear even more leather and lots of things that would seem like bondage _(A.N: Drool! Ah I think I'm going to faint. What a sight!! Yugi in bondage!! Yes I love it!!)_ to the citizen's of Domino. Was he trying to impress someone because the only person that would seem to like that stuff would be his look alike? Ryou on the other hand was spiking his hair a bit to give it a more wilder image and he was wearing very low cut tops that showed of his navel and creamy skin. Why was he changing his look? Finally her brother Marik seemed to enjoy wearing silk shirts that were always open at the front to show the ladies and men his bronzed skin. Why were all the hikari's doing this because the images they were showing now were basically ones the Yami's would enjoy. Ishizu just sighed at this thought as she came closer towards the Ishtar household.

Marik was sitting on his large double bed as the headphones in his ears played music making Marik lose himself with the tune. Next to him sat Malik who was reading his favourite magazine '_Yami's Weekly'_ which was only available in the Shadow Realm. Every issue it would tell you information about different Yami's in the world and Malik was enjoying this issue immensely due to it being about the great Pharaoh himself, Yami. Malik sat and read until he came to a certain article. His lavender eyes scanned the words until he burst out laughing, hitting his light in the process. Marik gave a cold stare at his dark as Malik stared at him like he had done nothing. _"What's so funny Malik?"_ asked the annoyed hikari. Malik just flicked back to the page in the magazine he was reading and looked for the article again. He found it in the end and couldn't help but giggle again. **"You have got to read this it will kill you I swear Marik." **laughed the deranged yami. Marik just nodded and so Mailk read him the article. **"Er hem. 'When the young Pharaoh Atemu was at the age of 18 he had a party in his palace and invited all those who were close to him. All his Priests were there including the High Priest who was known at that time not to be the fun guy.' "**Malik paused to get some air. **" 'At this party a range of belly dancers were on show as the Pharaoh continued to drink the wine that was picked specially for this occasion. This ended up with Atemu being drunk and so was his High Priest Seth which many believed they were a couple at this time. Sadly this was a lie but even worse for Atemu was that he actually slept with two people that evening. One was the High Priest Seth and the other being a belly dancer who was actually Akefia, King of Thieves in drag." **

All was silent after that until Marik and Malik once again fell into fits of laughter. _"Malik, That explains why Yami doesn't like Seto or Bakura because he had sex with them both!!"_ the hikari sighed as he tried getting his breath back. Malik looked at him and nodded. **"That's not all of it listen to this. 'Now we have a actual feedback from Akefia himself, who is now known as Bakura. _'Trickin' the pharaoh? Man it was hilarious!!! All you do is dress as a woman, wiggle your hips a bit, and there you have it! A dumbfounded pharaoh ready for action. I just couldn't believe it really, either the booze had made him half-sighted or he was just plain stupid, I mean, he couldn't even tell who I was!!!! That's the thing these days, it's not the guards which you can't rely on, it's the dude they're protectin', 'cos if he makes one stupid mistake such as this, then... well, that's it ain't it_? Sounds like good old Bakura to me" . **Marik nodded and then took the article away from his Yami. _"Hey look they have feedback from Seto Kaiba as well. Listen Malik. 'Neither me or my company were responsible for the actions of my so called yami and that stupid Pharaoh because it never happened. I don't have a High Preist called Seth for a Yami because I don't believe in this hocus pocus crap.' Yep that is so Seto Kaiba!"_. So the boys continued to laugh as it echoed all through the house.

Odion was sitting in his bedroom drinking a warm mug of tea reading his magazine _'Egyptian Babes'_ until sounds of Marik and Malik echoed through the house. He sighed and placed his drink and magazine down as he walked towards the blonde boy's bedrooms. He soon reached the room and went inside to see that the room was still a mess and that Ishizu would be home in a minute. Odion stood before his master and hit both him and Malik round the head with Malik's magazine. "Master Marik, Miss Ishizu asked you and Master Malik to tidy up this room before she comes back." said the tall Egyptian. Marik continued to rub his sore head and replied _"Yes I know Odion but there's plenty of time before she comes back from the museum" _.

"Marik, Malik, Odion I'm back. Hope that room's sorted out and clean Marik Ishtar!"

Malik and Marik's face's paled in colour as that same thought came to their minds. _"Oh..." _**"Shit!"** The said in unison and pushed Odion out the door. _"Odion don't tell Ishizu just say we're busy at the moment and she can't come in ok!?!" _rushed Marik. **"Yeah, and if you spill the beans on us you're going to the Shadow Realm. Ow Marik you didn't have to hit me!"** wined Malik as soon sounds of magazines being picked up and bag being filled were heard.

Ishizu walked down towards Marik and Malik's bedroom and noticed Odion walking away. She grabbed hold of his shirt sleeve and whispered "They didn't do their room did they?" as Odion only nodded in agreement. Ishizu mentally sighed and let Odion walk away. She stood outside the boy's bedroom and heard weird noises coming from within the room. Ishizu walked closer towards the door and rested her ear against the doorframe. They say women are the smartest creatures on the planet but if that is true why, oh why, is Ishizu falling into the eavesdropping craze? Rest in Peace Ishizu.

_**Inside the bedroom with Marik and Malik**_

_"Right that's all done now. Let's go then Malik." _

**"No not yet we still have to polish your rod."**

_"My rod? But it's fine. Look it's firm and hard! What else do you want from it?"_

**"Oh I want a lot more from your rod. A lot more Marik!"**

_"Like what?"_

**"Well, I want it to be squeaky clean."**

_"If you want it to be like that? Then it's all yours!"_

**"Don't mind if I do Marik." **

_"Well what do you want first big boy?"_

**"Pass me that slippery stuff over there."**

_"What you mean polish?"_

**"Yep now watch this!"**

Squeaking was heard coming from the room as it also seemed sounds of light moaning were coming along with it. Ishizu was worried at first but this was starting to get her paranoid. She wanted to walk away but she felt she needed to figure out the truth.

_"Look you missed a spot!"_

**"Where?"**

_"Right there!"_

**"Ok. Hold still!"**

_"Ah Ra your being too rough. Start of slowly would you."_

**"Ok. Is this slow enough for you?"**

_"Yes but please now can you go a bit faster?"_

**"Is this better?"**

_"Oh Ra yes!"_

**"Put your hand on mine because it will cause more friction"**

_"Is this ok for you Malik?"_

**"Yep now move in time with me. Up, down, up, down."**

_"Up, down, up, down. I get it. Have you noticed that the my rod is becoming more slippery?"_

**"Because it's finished. See nice and clean."**

_"I agree with you ,but how about we do your rod now Malik?"_

"You won't be doing anyone's rod Marik Ishtar! I heard you and on- hey how come your both holding the Millenium Rod?" asked Ishizu as she saw the very clean rod placed in both of their hands. She sighed mentally and soon began to laugh. "Ah Ra. I thought you two were polishing...no this is so funny...see you at dinner boys." and so she left with a red face and laughter escaping her mouth. This left the two boys puzzled in the bedroom until Malik as well began to laugh. Marik just stood there scowling at how his sister could think of such a rude gay thing. **"Hey Marik your sister is so funny she thought I was doing something with your...". **

_"Say it and your dead!"_

**"It."**

_"Malik!!!!!!!"_

**(End of Chapter)**

Hope you all enjoyed the chapter and just think that was the last chapter of 2004! So everyone have a Happy New Year and hope my and Mai's stories make enjoyable reading in 2005.

I'm happy though because I have a Yu-Gi-Oh! Calendar for 2005 so I will see a character for every month but I like January because it's my birthday soon and also it has Yami on that month. Yes I love Yami!!! Right now it's your chance to vote...

Next chapter: **Yami/Seto **or **Yugi/Ryou.**

Leave your vote in a review and lets see if the Yami/Seto fans can get the chapter they want or will the two lights Yugi/Ryou be more of your thing. Good luck on getting your couple. Leave a review and thanks again.

Happy New Year!!! Next Chapter up on 5th January 2005

**Yugi**


	7. Yami and Seto

**A series of unfortunate 'sexual' events**

Yugi: Right this authors note is special because my mates S.Chensu and Luff are going to write the authors note so it's over to them and enjoy this chapter. Thanks and over now to my two crazy friends.

Luff: Hello…um, for some very strange and unknown reason, Yugi aka the authoress, has allowed us to write the authors note for this chapter. Wow. My mind is boggling. Whatever that means.

S. Chensu: Moohaha, I finally have the freedom to say whatever I want! So first of all Yugi, let's get this straight. I was after dearest Yami-kins so that he could help me revise the male reproductive system for my biology re-sit! There was nothing else I wanted…heh.

Luff: And I have just realised how crap Chen's spelling is. Tut tut. Sorry, I'm a bit tired at the moment. I need SLEEP. But anyway, that's not the point! We're supposed to be talking about your story, dearest Puginess! I think… So then Chen, who is it going to be this chapter? It was between Yugi/Ryou and Yami/Seto, but who got the most votes...?

S. Chensu: I'm pleased to announce that this chapter will be…YAMI AND SETO! That's right, YAMI AND SETO! The reason I do this in capitals is because dear Pugi hates Yami and Seto as she is under the misconception that only Yami and Yugi are allowed to be with each other. What an odd girl… And guess who swung the votes their way? Yes, it was I, with a last minute review voting for them twice! Aren't I so nice?

Luff: Yay… Um, I'm gonna leave Pugi a little space here to thank her lovely reviewers, before we finish off this author's note.

Yugi: Right thanks to the following people- Jade Cade, autumnburn, mellinde, Aoi Dragon, Hakiri-Nefertiri, S.Chensu and Luff, Shy, GuardianSuri, Sami, The Valkovs, Kay-Dee-S, queen-galux, Nobodynow, Lizzy and Starlight Queen. Also thanks to those who have just started to read this and reviewed the other chapters. Thank you all.

Luff: And now it's good bye from us!

S. Chensu: Thanks for reading this note done very late at night after watching Red Dwarf and we just want to say Luff has a Yu-Gi-Oh! story for you all to read called the Pressures of Life. And I'm going to post up a story too. But I'll stop now because Luff's telling me off for advertising! She's so pooey!

(Luff: Chen you silly bitch! (Only joking) Pugi you can cut that bit out if you want to.)

Luff: So without any further ado let the wonderful new chapter of A Series of Unfortunate 'Sexual' Events begin!! YAY! #I'm so excited…# um, sorry. :)

Yugi: Thanks guys but I must say one thing to everyone...your all evil! You voted Yami/Seto, it's wrong. That's all.

**key**

speech: Yugi speaking

speech: lady at desk speaking

**speech: **Kaiba speaking

_speech: _Yami speaking

**Chapter Seven: **_Yami and Seto_

Power, isn't that what everyone wants these days. There are different forms including love but the biggest form is the Power of Friendship. _(A.N: Sorry if anyone thought I sounded too Téa like but please don't be mean to me about it. Sorry once again) _This is not always that simple for everything in life has an opposite side to it. Ying and Yang, Yami and Hikari, Love and Hate, everything has a corresponding power to go with it. If that is the case, what is the opposite of friendship?

Rivalry.

Everyone has rivals in life. Matt had Tai _(A.N: From Digimon)_, Gary envies Ash _(A.N: From Pokémon)_, Kai has always hated Tyson _(A.N: From Beyblades)_ but the beginning of all conflicts start in the past. Our ancestors had created everyone to have rivals for one purpose in life…competition.

Round the City Domino the call of heavenly doves echoed around the streets. Heavy traffic stood at a stand still whilst a young boy ran in between the vehicles. His footsteps pounded against the ground as he franticly looked around the city. Wild tri-coloured hair _(A.N: Guess Who?)_ blew slightly with his pace as blonde bangs flowed across the flushed face of the boy. Heavy breaths cam from rose petal lips whilst beads of sweat trickled down his angelic face. Amethyst eyes were quickly looking around the area as the sound of footsteps chased after him. Why did this always happen to him?

Yugi was still running as the bullies after him were catching up with the short boy. Why did they do this every time after school? Sure he was short but it was his genes and also because he was diabetic, so it really wasn't his fault. _(A.N: It's true Yu-Gi-Oh! Fans, Yugi has Diabetes. It's not mentioned on the TV Show but it is in the manga. If you read the manga and didn't find out the had this illness it's in the Graphic Novel 5, Duel 34 Arena #2. It's when Joey asks Yugi if he needs his Insulin, which is the medicine they give to people with Diabetes. There is my fact from me to you! read on!) _Luckily every time this happened a certain someone was always there to protect him. So where was he?

They were still getting closer to him as his short legs began to tire? Panic clouded his mind as Yugi thought of the things they could do to him. Would they kick him, punch him, stab him or worse rape him. Wasn't his fault they found him sexually promiscuous. "This just isn't my day!" he said to himself as building after building flew past his eyesight until a certain tower caught his eye...Kaiba Corp Headquarters.

Yugi mentally growled in frustration as he stopped in his tracks, the bullies stopping right behind him. He turned round to face the leader of the group, Ushio _(A.N: From Graphic Novel 1, Duel 1 The Puzzle of the Gods)_ and gave him a very Yami looking glare. Ushio just gave him a questioning look as he had no time to react to the short boys fist that found it's way to his jaw. Teeth and blood spilled out from the bullies mouth as Yugi gave a smile in satisfaction whilst Ushio ran away crying his eyes out. "That will teach him for picking on me!" he laughed as he began to walk away, but one thing did play on his mind "Yami's becoming a bad influence on me. Actually where is Yami?" and so he headed towards the building Seto and Mokuba owned, Kaiba Corp of course. _(A.N: Yay go Yugi! I thought that Yugi should get his own back on all the bullies he has had in his life! Go Yugi! Of course I'm nothing like that...much, I kick instead)_

After walking through the crowded streets of Domino he finally made it to the main entrance of the company glancing up at the glass doors edged in silver which looked the same as the Blue Eyes White Dragon colour. Yugi just sighed as he walked inside saying "I knew Kaiba liked his Blue Eyes but come on that is ridiculous" to himself. A young women was sitting at the reception noticing the innocent boy wandering the entrance. "Excuse me are you any relation to that kid named Yami by any chance? asked the lady at the desk. Yugi looked up at the said question and replied "Yami? Is he here then?". The women nodded and pointed towards the lift across the room "He should be on the top floor with Mister Kaiba". Yugi followed the hand and stepped into the lift.

He was getting impatient and was getting very annoyed with the music 'baby's got blue eyes' playing in the lift. Yugi was quite angry with the fact that Yami had gone off with Seto but all had changed once the lift did the classic chime that he had arrived on the top floor. "Yami once I get my hands on you your dead...again." he growled as he made it towards the main door. He was about to place his hands around the knob but then heard Yami's sexy, deep voice coming from behind the door. "What's he up to?" Yugi questioned as he stood next to the door getting interested in the sounds from the other side. Dun Dun Dun! Yugi certainly must be naive if he didn't here the tale of the evil thing called eavesdropping.

**_Inside the room with Yami and Seto_** _(A.N: the worst couple in history)_

_"Why did you call me here Kaiba"_

**"The usual Yugi, to put you in your place!"**

_"Kaiba! I'm not Yug! I'm Yami!"_

**"What ever your still shorter then me!"**

_"Do I care? No!"_

**"So are we going to do this or not?"**

_"Fine, but don't blame me when I become rough on you!"_

**"Yami. I'm used to you by now. What do you take me for some beginner?"**

_"Well...let me think? Yes!"_

**"Well come on then! You know I don't like waiting."**

_"I noticed because your showing that to me at the moment."_

**"Right you ready?"**

_"Ready Kaiba but I must tell you I don't feel anything from you during this ok."_

**"Whatever."**

_"Let's begin!"_

Yugi was still listening but was already getting worried due to his very big naive ness problem. Still he listened anyway because of some weird authoress typing that he had to stay in the spot to hear more. Poor Little Yugi.

_"Well looks like I'm already on top Kaiba!"_

**"Trust me Yami. Once we get into full swing I'm going to kick you sorry little butt."**

**  
**_"Oh I'd love to see you try!"_

**"Trust me I'm showing you all I've got to offer King Of Games!"**

_"Well that's not much then is it?"_

**"I'll teach you to respect me you freak of nature!"**

_"Ah Shit! Ow...ah...I swear your getting harder!"_

**"I've been practicing!"**

_"With who?"_

**"Myself. Told you I'm going to put you down at the end of this."**

_"Don't take me too lightly Kaiba! I'm still hard as well!"_

**"Well show me your hardness then you idiot."**

_"Gladly."_

**"Oh for the love of Ra! Ra damn it that hurt!"**

_"Told you I'm hard!"_

**"Goes with your ego."**

_"Watch it!"_

**"Oh I'm watching all right!"**

_"Like what you see?"_

**"No not really because your making me be at the bottom again!"**

_"Just where you belong!"_

**"Shut up!"**

_"Feel the pain of this then!"_

**"Ah..ah...ah I swear your getting better at this?!"**

_"I'll take that as a compliment! ready for my final move Kaiba."_

**"Alright! I give! I surrender! Your on top like always!"**

"Yami's never on top when I'm around!"

Both boys looked towards the door and noticed a little, sexy, short boy standing in between the doorway. Yugi moved towards the pair and noticed that his face was getting redder every step he took. He looked up at Yami and asked him to put his ear near his lips. Yami agreed and soon he couldn't help but laugh over the fact what his hikari thought they were doing. Kaiba just stood still and snorted in ignorance **"I don't see what's funny?"** asked Seto. Yami just mouthed out the words _'thought we were having sex' _and that made Kaiba's face go red as well. Yugi was still red until he noticed a Dark Magician in the middle of the room and then saw the two duel disks round the boy's arms. He giggled and then said to Kaiba "Looks like you lost again Kaiba!". Kaiba growled once more and then whacked both light and dark round the head. **"Right that's it get out!" **he shouted as both boy's began to giggle again and they walked out the door.

"Yami how come you can beat Kaiba but not me?"

_"Well unlike Kaiba I prefer you on top."_

"YAMI!! Your destroying my innocent mind here!"

_"Who said I was referring to sexual inter-"_

WHACK! Yami couldn't finish the sentence as Yugi's fist met with his jaw, knocking him to the ground.

"Like I said before Yami, your a bad influence on me!"

**(End of Chapter)**

There you go and hope you enjoyed the chapter and please read 'the Pressures of life' please because it is a good story. Special thanks to **S.Chensu and Luff **for doing the authors note because I was being lazy and didn't want to do it myself and also thanks to ** Sami **for the idea of this chapter. Thanks everyone and who do you want to vote for this time:-

**Bakura/Malik** or **Téa/Mai**

Leave a vote in the review and the voting closes on the 7th January so be quick. Thanks again and next chapter is up on the **8th January**. Enjoy and only 12 more days till my b.day so I'm officially 16 (17th January)

C ya next Chapter folks.

Yugi


	8. Bakura and Malik

**A series of unfortunate 'sexual' events**

Yugi: Hello once again loyal fans and this chapter is being written during a very boring science lesson which I'm in at the moment. Do you know one thing that is good about science though is that a lot of things in this subject are related to Yu-Gi-Oh! for example their are 3 rays called Alpha, Beta and Gamma which of course is the name of Yami and Yugi's helpful magnet warriors. See Yu-Gi-Oh's everywhere! Actually one thing that was funny in my science lesson was that the teacher told us to draw an 'Atom' but she pronounced it 'Atem' so who do you think I drew? Good old, sexy Yami of course...and got told off for it! Not my fault she said 'Atem' and not 'Atom'. Well as you can tell I'm talking about a load of rubbish here so like in the last chapter I am going to ask one of my friends to do this authors note for me, so give a warm welcome to my friend (who's sitting next to me in this lesson) and fellow author...Lia Xaragi!

Lia: Hello peeps! Man, science is sooo boring! (Oh no, she's giving out our mock results...) Well, Yu-Gi-Oh! is defiantly is everywhere in modern life, in fact, anime is all around, yay! Oh no I'm rambling on again, sorry...My mind is on other things today (one thing in particular, but none of you would be interested in it!)

Yugi: Yay 24/30!!!! I'm smart, but this is only the mark for Biology.

Lia: So what? My biology paper? 25/30, so hah!!

Yugi: Yayness! But we still have two other papers to get our marks from so it's not over till the fat Kaiba sings! Opps we went off track again...note for life, science sucks but my story rules! I have over 100 reviews already and I'm pants in English, yet I live in England.

Lia: Yes, we know about your bloody reviews...OK, I'm only jealous 'cos you got more reviews then me! Oh, quick bit of advertising here: READ MY STORIES!!! 'Wish Lists' (Beyblades) and 'Behind Closed Blinds' (Yu-Gi-Oh!) will be updated soon!! READ DAMN YOU!!! (please?)

Yugi: Thanks Lia and also thanks to the following people as well:- **mellide, Aoi Dragon, Jade Cade, Ranma Higurashi** (Yay I'm glad someone else knows the voice actors names and even though Eric Stuart #Kaiba# and Dan Green #Yugi/Yami# are very talented in their jobs, did you know they don't actually know how to duel! I think it's funny!)**, Kay-Dee-S, MysticalShadow, Hakiri-Nerfertiri, Sami, Slasher 242, jonouchi-kaiba-mokie, cheeseeater, Shadowimage, Nobodynow and YamiClara** for reviewing the last chapter for me and voting. Thanks! So Lia who is the next chapter going to be about?

Lia: Bakura and Malik! #Yugi shudders at the mention of there names. Lets just say Yugi is scared shit of them two!# Ok, here's the next chapter of Yugi's excellent story, A series of unfortunate 'sexual' events. Don't forget to review! Byesis!!! (Oh, and Hi to Johnny! Thought I'd say that whilst I was here...)

Yugi: Thanks again Lia and so here is the next chapter but I have come to one conclusion, I have very weird friends but I couldn't live without them! Thanks Guys! Oh I have a note here for **Hakiri-Nerfertiri**:- Please would you e-mail me because I have a special request to ask you and it involves the next chapter!. That's all Folks!

**I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! So any Police out there can't arrest me! Ha Ha!**

Yugi

**Key**

speech: Téa speaking

**speech:** Bakura speaking

_speech:_ Malik speaking

speech: Yami speaking

**Chapter Eight: **_Bakura and Malik_ _(A.N: Both of them are the yami's in my story)_

Summer, duh duh duh duh duh duh, Oh summer, summer, duh duh duh duh duh duh... _(A.N: Just think of that song that goes 'Sugar, duh etc, Oh Honey, honey' hope you got the tune now!) _Yep it was summer time _(A.N: I skipped spring but also as its winter in the real world I would try and warm you up with it being summer in Domino. Happy?)_ In Domino as magpies flew across the sky as seagulls circled the crowds of people walking down the sandy shores of the cities beach. The park was near the beach as the gentle chilled breeze drifted through the very hot city but to many people, girls mainly, that was not the only thing hot during this time of year...what was?

Boys!

It was a hard life being a boy _(A.N: I wouldn't know I'm a girl!)_ but it was an even harder being a lad who one was famous and two was found to be very attractive to the opposite sex. Girl after girl was after him screaming with their high pitched cries and a cloud of dirt followed the females as they cased after their prey, in this case Yami.

"YAMI DARLING, WE LOVE YOU!!"

They all screamed as each female started to gain speed towards the wild haired Pharaoh, who seemed to be getting slower with the increasing heat. "For the love of Ra! Why don't they leave me alone for once in my life!" Yami shouted as he was still running towards his home hoping that they wouldn't catch up with him. He ran through the city with the annoying fangirls right on his tail until he came to an alley. He saw the dark mouth of the passageway and entered the cold dark area. His breathing was raspy but he felt like someone was breathing behind him, but he listened closer and heard more then one pair of breaths. Crimson eyes gazed behind and what he saw couldn't help but make him laugh. Behind the high and mighty ex-Pharaoh was a group of boys that would make any girls heart swoon, they were none other then Seto Kaiba the cold hearted teen who was a god to some people _(A.N: Not to me his not!) _Next to him was that cute canine that went by the name of Joey Wheeler and next to the blonde haired boy was that sexy excuse of a tombrobbers hikari, Ryou. _(A.N: All these boys I have mentioned I don't find attractive but I'm being nice to you guys so I hope you like it!)_. Next to the ex-king thief's hikari was a psycho blonde haired boy that girls and guys called hot but friends called him Marik. They were all sweating and by the looks of it they had experienced the same problem as Yami did…a huge crowd of annoying fangirls!

"So I'm not the only one who has problem with those things?"

All eyes looked at Yami as nods of heads agreed with the statement made. The Pharaoh couldn't help but start to laugh at all the boys before him for it was strange enough people finding him attractive but it was even weirder to see the CEO hide from a bunch of girls. His laughter was getting louder ever second and soon the cries of those wild girls were getting closer! All the boys thought he same thing 'Oh Shit!'. Yami sweat dropped and gulped in apology to the other lads but sadly they did not accept it! Smirks crept upon their faces as they picked up the once mighty Pharaoh and threw him out of the hiding place into the open with the hyper ladies. Screams of pure joy was heard from the ecstatic females as the boys in the alleyway mourned in memory of their fallen friend and species.

"LEAVE ME ALONE FOR THE LOVE OF RA!!" was the only thing heard down the street as Yami ran at the speed of sound for his destiny had now changed from saving the world to saving himself!

She was very happy that was for sure, it was the only way to describe her. Locks of chestnut hair flowed down from a feminine face whilst a pair of male leather trousers was clutched in her hands. A smile crept along her face as she rubbed the tight pants along her face crying in glee at her victory in claiming the elusive Leather Pants! "I can't believe they actually smell like him!" she said joyfully as the male scent of the trousers wafted into her nose. One thing was for sure, she wasn't sorry for the poor lad who had to walk home in his underwear, that is if they managed to survive the attack of the killer fangirls!!

Téa was walking with the trousers still in her hands as she arrived in the city's park. The day was slowly drifting away yet the sky still remand in beautiful shades of blue and pale greens for it was summer after all. The friendship loving girl was proud of her prize of the day, which happened to be Yami's sacred leather pants, but still the scenery all around was making everything seem attractive including herself. Téa loved summer for all the fun things that happened during that time of year including love, and this year she hoped to be Yami's girlfriend. She was starting to get a bit tired so she looked for the nearest seat. The closet one happened to be by a gorgeous lush green bush that was gently rustling with the clam breeze that seemed almost none existent. Téa sat down with a sigh still holding the trousers in her pale hands. It had to be the best day of her life! First of all the girls and her started to chase Ryou for fun but then they ran into Marik which soon became a two boy hunt. The boys had managed to slip away but then they saw Joey and Seto walking down the road so the hunt was back on! They also escaped but then they saw Yami and the rest was history. It was the best thing a girl could think of doing in their spare time. She sighed again as she closed her eyes and silently drifted off in a light sleep.

Time passed and Téa was still asleep on the bench as the birds danced across the sky and also weird noises were coming from the bush behind the girl. She woke up due to the sounds and rubbed the sleep out of her luring blue eyes turning to face the cursed piece of shrubbery making very freaky noises. Fear was building up inside of her as she silently crept towards the bush as the noises got louder soon turning into voices, deep male voices in fact. Closer she crept and soon she started to recognise the voices from the bush as Téa held her breath trying not to make a sound in fear these two male would kill her. Who are these two males you ask? They were none other then the last two Yami's on the whole planet, a demented blonde and a freaky tombrobber, Bakura and Malik. Téa was kneeling beside the bush as the deep voices of the men got louder and it seemed like they were moaning as well. 'That's odd' thought the girl as she tried to stand up and move away but an unknown force kept her in place. 'OK? Help I can't move her' she panicked as she tried to push her body off the lush grass, but it didn't work. "Looks like I will have to stay here then. Hey maybe I can listen to what Bakura and Malik are saying due to me being very bored!" she said with a smile as she became the 8th victim of a horrible sin. Téa is a perfect example of an average girl... big chested, loves Yami, wears short skirts and the most common thing in a girl, a gossiper and an eavesdropper!

_**In the lovely, pretty bush with Bakura and Malik**_

_"Isn't it a lovely day Kura?"_

**"Hmph."**

_"Oh cheer up Mr Depressed! The birds are singing, bees are flying and one is sitting on my arm...wait a minute a bee on my arm?"_

**"Don't Care!"**

_"Go away you annoying bug! Wait what is that coming out of it's rear? No don't you dare!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH SHIT THAT HURTS!!!!!!!"_

**"HE HE HE HE HE!"**

_"IT'S NOT FUNNY BAKURA!"_

**"Yes it is! Do you want me to kiss it all better? He he he he."**

_"Oh yes please!!!!!!"_

**"Shut up you Hentai! It's your fault the Yami look alike stung** **you!" **

_"How's it my fault?!"_

**"I'll tell you, your dripping all over the place!!"**

_"Oh so I am. I'll just lick it all up."_

**"No let me do it...please."**

_"Oh Ra!! Bakura just said please! But it's mine so be gentle with it ok!"_

**"Always!"**

Sounds of licking and sucking were heard from the bush as Téa face cringed at the thought of Bakura and Malik, well you know the rest. Still the sounds came but neither of them talked...until now.

**"Ah! That was lovely!"**

_"So how was it?"_

**"Sweet and sticky! No wonder the bee liked it!"**

_"Buzz!"_

**"Pardon?"**

_"Buzz! That's the bee's name! Buzz!"_

**"O..k."**

_"Bakura I think I need you again!"_

**"Why? Oh your dripping again you stupid blond!"**

_"Cant help it if it's so hot around here! I just had to get wet!"_

**"Hold still then."**

_"Yay! Suck Bakura, suck!! Lick it right there!"_

**"Yum tasty! Shit my outfit is really sticky now!"**

_"Fine don't wear it then!"_

**"NO!!! NOW I'M DRIPPING!"**

_"Let me help you there pal!"_

**"Hey that's good Malik! You have a very good..ah."**

_"What's wrong?"_

**"It's cold!! Warm me up Malik!"**

_"Im on it!"_

**"Yep your defiantly on 'it' all right"**

_"Well to warm you up I need to get comfortable so deal with it!"_

**"I just hope you...ah that is...OH FUCK THIS IS GOOD!"**

_"Yep told you this is good! just hold still and go with the flow!"_

**"I see why modern day people like this stuff!"**

_"I agree 'Kura! All you have to do is lick and then you wait for the creamy white substance to trickle into your mouth and just swallow it all up!"_

**"This is just so good!"**

_"I'm a master unlike you!"_

**"Your the stickiest more like!"**

_"I can't help it but it's gone now! Not Fair!!"_

**"Well Malik I want a lot more and I expect you to get it for me!"**

_"OH!!! Yes Sir!!"_

"No one is licking anyone up you poor excuse of....AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

_**SPLASH**_

The boys looked from the bench they were sitting on behind the bush overlooking the pond in the park, to notice a girl had ran straight through the bush and into the pond. The two yami's sat in their seats with their faces puffing up, suddenly they burst out laughing at the very wet Téa in the pond still. They threw the ice creams that were in there hands into the pond making them land upon Téa's head! Vanilla ice cream trickled through her hair as she scowled at both Bakura and Malik who were rolling around on the floor trying not to kill themselves in the process. "IT'S NOT FUNNY!!!!!!!" _(A.N: That just sounded strangely like my friend Luff. Strange?)_ she screamed as the boys froze in the spot whilst she tried to stand up in the pond, weeds clinging to her outfit.

"Hasn't anyone told you not to eavesdrop Téa?"

I deep voice came from next to Bakura as crimson eyes laid upon the wet figure. Bakura and Malik were still laughing, that was until a very angry girl stormed out of the pond glaring at the yami's. "YOU BOYS ARE SO DEAD!!" she said as smoke came from her ears and her face scowled. The boys gulped together as they started to walk away from the angry girl soon turning into a sprint as Téa ran after them.

"COME BACK HERE!!!!!"

**(End of Chapter)**

Ra this story is getting really pants now I think but I did put the chapter up one day before so I hope you liked it. From now on I will not have any more votes because poeple have said they were going to report me so I will pick the couples myself to surprise you guys!

But I will ask this:- Do you want the following from this story in chapters...

**1) M/M couples, M/F couples and F/F couples **or

**2) M/M couples and M/F couples.**

Please tell me what you prefer so I know what you don't like and then I won't do the stupid thing of typing something you hate.

I hope you enjoyed the chapter and sorry for the long wait. The next chapter will be up on the **17th January** and I hope the computer will be fine by then. Thanks everyone and please **Hakiri-Nerfertiri** e-mail me because I need you do to something for me for the next chapter.

Right that's all from me and thanks again to Lia Xaragi for helping me with the authors note. See you guys on the 17th and until then please review and hope you will be back next chapter.

Yugi


	9. Téa and Yami

**A series of unfortunate 'sexual' events**

**Yugi: **Hello guys and are you ready for the next instalment of this story? Your not! Oh well I won't do it then. I'm going to let Hakiri-Nerfertiri do this authors note so over to her.

**Hermione:** Hello there! I'm Hakiri-Nefertiri, writer of the fan fic, Confusing Emotions..

**Nefertiri:** And a hand full of other works, but alas that is not important.

**Hermione:** No it's not, what is important at the moment is that all of us say a big Happy Birthday to our lovely author Yugi! Her birthday is on the 17th ! Happy birthday! We love ya lots and your wonderful fics!

**Nefertiri:** Hermione's birthday is in January as well, my Aibou is old!

**Hermione:** Thanks Nef, but if 17 is old to you then you my dear Yami are positively ancient!

**Nefertiri:** Um….. That's not important! No one wants to know how old I am! Well about that disclaimer… were we supposed to do it? Oh Well,

Disclaimer: Yugi doesn't own Yugioh, If she did the story would most likely be different, just like Hermione would make it different if she owned it, (Hermione: Yugi/Yami all the way!) and because no one here owns the characters we would like to ask that no one sue any of us!

**Yugi: **Thanks Hakiri-Nerfertiri for doing the authors note and also thanks to the following people for reviewing me:- **Shy, Nobodynow, S.Chensu and Luff, GuardianSuri, Seishitsu, jonouchi-kaiba-mokie, Hakiri-Nefertiri, TrekieGreenieShannaraElfOfMe, Aoi Dragon, necro fan and Peaceseeker **for your reviews make me happy and hyper! Hope you giys enjoy this chapter so read on peeps.

Yugi

**Key**

speech: Kaiba talking

**speech: **Téa talking

_speech: _Yami talking

**Chapter Nine:**_ Téa and Yami_

School, that dreaded place where poor defenceless children had to go to apparently succeed in life. Pity the teachers do a shit job in helping the students. Flocks of those pitiful kids crowded the school grounds as masses of blue and pink blazers were seen around the whole area. Short kids, fat kids any kind of student went to this school including pupils who held one of the seven mystical Millennium Items, especially if their item included a free yami. _(A.N: Free Yami!! I'm gonna get myself a Millennium Puzzle to get a free Yami!!! Batteries not included. Sorry adverts always say that! OK what the hell am I talking about? Just read on) _This school was different from any other for this school had the richest kid alive attending it, Seto Kaiba.

A motor was heard throughout the city as a smart royal blue motorcycle roared its way along the streets. A blue trench coat was flapping with the wind that whizzed past as piercing sapphire eyes _(A.N: Guess who?)_ scanned the area getting closer towards the school grounds. He drew nearer towards the school gates overtaking the slow cars whilst drivers stuck their fingers up at the rude boy, not knowing his true identity. Faster he drove down the road noticing a crowd of pink blazers blocked his way in. The boy growled to himself as he braked in front of the fan girls blocking him, but soon he smiled inside his helmet as he noticed that he wasn't the only one having girl problems. To his left he saw two boys with tri-coloured hair getting hugged and kissed as the taller of the pair was being groped and the shortest being pinched on the cheek whilst the girl around them squealed "He is sssssssooooooooo Cute!" as they surrounded the pair. To the riders other side he noticed the other yami and hikari pairs suffering the same problem as Bakura and Malik were cursing words that even made swear words seem normal whilst their poor defenceless lights were pinned to a wall with girls around every corner of them. The last person the rider saw made him give a chuckle. A poor blond haired dog seemed to have the most problems for he was the only boy that seemed to have been stripped of his clothes. Slowly the rider removed his helmet showing off his brown locks of hair which flowed gently with the wind. A stern smirk crossed his face as he whistled to the blond haired boy making the mutt blush. "Nice body there dog! Pity that your nice body doesn't have an equally sexy body being pressed against it." said Kaiba as Joeys face went beetroot red. All the girls around the boys stopped touching and feeling the other lads and all turned towards Seto and screamed "SSSSSEEEEEETTTTTTTOOOOO!!!" as they swarmed towards him, giving the other guys a chance to run and hide. "THANKS KAIBA!" they shouted as they left the cold-hearted CEO to the ladies.

It had seemed like hours before Kaiba had managed to escape the deadly fan girls but I the end he had to pay all of them with a kiss to make them all go away, which obviously worked. The CEO's face was covered in shades of pink and reds due to the mass amounts of lipstick marks covering his face. One thing was for sure he needed to wash it off for he had a reputation to keep up.

Slowly he walked down the corridors looking for the boys toilets but finding the majority of them were locked. _(A.N: It's like the girls toilets at my school. They had to close all the female loo's due to most of them using the toilets as a smoking area so now we all suffer due to those stupid people! DON'T SMOKE!!)_ Every turn he took he realised that most of the toilets were either locked or had been flooded which was really starting to piss the CEO off. "This is pathetic! Why doesn't someone give the school money to pay for better teachers and toilets! Who would give them the money though? It has to be someone rich and important, but I don't know anyone who's like that? I'm poor you see!" he smiled as he walked towards the last toilets in the school available for the males. He placed his hands around the knob, turned it and...it was locked.

"FOR FUCK SAKE!!" Kaiba screamed as he rushed around the school actually feeling like he needed the toilet and not just to go there to wash his face. Soon enough Kaiba calmed down as he found the solution in front of his eye...the girls bathroom.

Slowly he placed his sweaty hands round the handle as he pushed the door open being greeted to a sight he wished he never saw. Posters covered the walls but not just any pictures oh no, this were images of the boys the girls desired most, The Yu-Gi-Oh! boys. Seto sweatdopped as he looked at the posters which were everywhere around the very perfumed room but one picture caught his attention, a picture of a group of firemen. Seto placed his briefcase on the ground as he walked towards the picture hoping it was a dream for on it was all the lads heads stuck on top of firemen's bodies. He cringed as he looked at the different poses the guys were in, Yugi was wrapped around the hose as Yami seemed to be wrapping his light up in the hose making it seem like bondage. Ryou was ontop of Bakura's lap whilst they were both positioned around the firemen's pole. Malik and Marik were in the drivers seats as Marik layed on his yami's chest whilst their foots were in the air, but the one that really disturbed Seto most was an image of him and a certain blonde haired mutt looking like they were...

The bathroom door opened as the CEO quickly dashed into a spare cubicle locking the door pissing himself with fright. 'SHIT! That was close' he thought as he pulled down his trousers doing his business listening for when the unexpected guests would leave. He listened closely pulling up his undergarments and trousers as the two voices in the room sounded familiar. 'Wait!?! What is Yami doing in the girls toilet? Along with Téa! I thought he hated the girl? Oh well looks like I will have to wait here until they disappear.' he sighed mentally as all he could do was sit there and listen, which meant sadly that Seto Kaiba was the next victim of eavesdropping. Do we pity him? No not really, he he he he.

_**Outside Kaiba's cubicle with Yami and Téa**_

**"Please yami let me sort it out for you!?!"**

_"No Téa!! This is all Yugi's fault so he should sort it out not you!"_

**"Please Yami let me do it!!! It needs a women's touch!"**

_"Well when I see a women I'll inform you. Hey that hurt!"_

**"Well that's what you get for insulting Téa Gardner! So please let me do it Yami."**

_"Fine but be gentle with it ok!"_

**"I'll be as gentle as always Yami-kins!"**

_"So how does it look?"_

**"Quite bad! You have a very large one by the looks of it."**

_"Can it be sorted out?"_

**"If you keep very still and don't move a muscle you'll be fine!"**

_"Well then do it already. It's all yours!"_

**"My Pleasure!"**

Sounds of leather being ripped was heard as the CEO's cool calm face was changing very quickly like he was losing a duel to his rival, Yami. To Kaiba it seemed like Téa was enjoying herself and Yami was being very submissive but anyway he continued to listen for he had no other choice due to his current predicament which was him stuck in a girls toilet and his rival getting his trumpet polished by the friendship freak. Poor Kaiba, NOT!!

_"Well does it look better?"_

**"Well it feels better. Let me just check and make sure."**

_"AH, ah T-t-téa would you watch what you're poking for you're touching my ah, ah."_

**"Well I'll be careful then. This might prick if you move."**

_"I'll be as still as I CCCCCAAAAAAANNNNNNNNN!!!!!"_

**"Told you to keep still! I'll make it all better for you."**

_"Em, ah thanks Téa. Have you finished yet?"_

**"No I haven't! Just keep still a little longer."**

_"I can't if you're right in between my legs!"_

**"Well that's were the problem is so you'll have to deal with it!"**

_"This is all Yugi's fault!"_

**"Yep and I'm going to sort it all out for you! Ah Shit!"**

_"Téa what's wrong?"_

**"Erm I'm stuck can you release me?"**

_"Can't you've got a tight..."_

But Yami never finished his sentence as the CEO stormed out of the cubicle and released Téa's hair out of Yami's trousers zip, revealing a hole that was around Yami's er hem region which had a needle poking out from it. Téa rubbed her head as Yami's face burned red with embarrassment both staring at the tall brunette who was also going as red as the tints in Yami's hair. "Er, let me guess...Yugi made a hole in Yami's trousers and you were sewing the hole back up?" questioned the CEO as Téa only replied with a nod. Yami looked at his rival and started to giggle with the sight before him but didn't say anything. Kaiba on the other hand snorted and replied "Well I don't believe that's true! I know you Yami and you were getting Téa to..." but Yami stopped him in mid sentence as he asked _"Why Kaiba were you in the girls toilet? Maybe to get rid fo that lovely lipstick that you're wearing? Oh I wouldn't be that desperate to bed Téa!"_ he finished causing the CEO to grow angry. Téa giggled as well ignoring the fact Yami insulted her but laughed at the tall boy along with the Pharaoh **_"Yeah Kaiba that shade really suits you! Maybe you should go for the plum pink and not the crimson red."_** she cried. Kaiba picked up his briefcase and started to walk out of the bathroom leaving two teenagers laughing to their deaths.

_"By the way Kaiba, lovely pink thong!"_

**(End of Chapter) **

Well I hope you liked the chapter and it's the first girl/boy pairing so I hope t was ok for you. Also I thought I would be nice to Kaiba for I may hate his guts but some of you peeps out there like him so I did it just for you.

So that's all I would like to say apart from I will do f/f pairings but that will be once i've done all m/m and m/f pairings but please if you have any ideas keep them coming.

Oh yeah i've got to say this...IM OFFICIALLY 16!!! er sorry I had to say that and please review this chapter.

Once again thanks to Hakiri-Nerfertiri for doing the authors note and don't forget the next chapter is up on the **24th January** and I was wondering if you wanted me from now on to tell you what couple I'm doing in the next chapter? Please say so in a review.

Thanks again!

Yugi


	10. Ryou and Yugi

**A series of unfortunate 'sexual' events**

**Yugi:** Hello again people and welcome to the next chapter of my weird story. If you haven't guessed by now you will realise that this chapter is focused on **Ryou and Yugi** so they are the next pairing!!! I'm now going to be a lazy person and watch the new anime I got which is called Prétear (it's very good but Yu-Gi-Oh! is still my no1 anime) and I will leave the authors note in the hands of my e-mail friend and fellow author PeaceSeeker so enjoy the chapter and review replies will be at the end of the chapter. Thanks and over to PeaceSeeker!!

**PeaceSeeker: **Hey everyone!! PeaceSeeker here! Yugi asked me to do the author's note for this chap, and I found I absolutely could not refuse this first time ever request! So here I am. :D And since I've noticed that everyone else seems to bring along a little visitor whenever they do an author's note for Yugi; I've decided to bring my own. Everyone say hello to Yuki from the anime "Fruits Basket!" Say hi Yuki!

**Yuki:** Ummmm, hi.

**PeaceSeeker:** You know, you could be a _little_ more enthusiastic!

**Yuki:** Uhhh.. Sorry.(clears throat) HI EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Was that better PeaceSeeker?

**PeaceSeeker:** Um yea, but I think that was a little too much.

**Yuki:** quite picky today aren't we?

**PeaceSeeker:** No, not normally. But for you I'll make an exception.

**Yuki:** Oh how sweet! I feel so loved! Now you should probably get on with the author's note before Yugi regrets ever asking you to do it.

**PeaceSeeker:** Yes well, I suppose your right.

**Yuki:** Of course I'm right. I am no doubt the most intelligent, wise, popular......

**PeaceSeeker:** and quite full of your self I might add....

**Yuki:** Hey, don't start with me today PeaceSeeker! I happen to know Marshal Arts! SO BEWARE!!!

**PeaceSeeker:** Oh I'm soooo scared! I'm even quivering in my boots! NOT!!!

**Yuki:** Alright then, BRING IT ON!! OUT SIDE, RIGHT NOW!!!!!

**PeaceSeeker:** So aggressive! Perhaps will get you into counselling Yuki. Well ANYWAY, On with the author's note: Yugi DOES NOT own Yugioh folks, and NEVER will. That's so sad!!!! (starts crying)

**Yuki:** And you think I'M the one who needs help, Sheesh! (hands PeaceSeeker a tissue)

**PeaceSeeker:** Thanks Yuki. You know, You can be really nice when you wanna be.

**Yuki:** I know. I just don't want to be most of the time.

**PeaceSeeker:** Hmmm.. I think someone needs a hug.

**Yuki:** No! Anything but THAT!! You know what happens when a girl hugs me!!!

**PeaceSeeker:** Its worth the consequences Yuki. You REALLY do need a hug RIGHT now. (gives a struggling Yuki a big hug)

**Yuki:** NOOOO!!!!!!!! (Yuki "poofs" into the Zodiac rat) Now See what you did!

**PeaceSeeker:** Awww... Your so CUTE!! As cute as the ham hams!! Now I just want to hug you even more! (runs to the rat, with outstretched arms)

**Yuki (as rat):** No! don't even think about it!! I may be a rat now, but I can still fight you!!!

**PeaceSeeker:** (looks at the little rat before her who has positioned himself into a fighting stance, while eyes glaring) Ahhh OK..... I think I'd better be going now, (starts to run) Anyway folks, enjoy Yugi's next chap to this great story of "A series of Unfortunate 'sexual' Events!" Bye!! (runs away completely)

**Yuki:** Hey get back here! You can run, but you can't hide!!!!!

**PeaceSeeker:** AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

**Key**

speech: Bakura speaking

**speech: **Ryou speaking

_speech: _Yugi speaking

**Chapter Ten: **_Ryou and Yugi_

What a beautiful sight it was as deep shades of oranges, reds and yellows flowed gently in wilting branches against the cool, slow breeze passing through the city. The wind rustled through the trees as the sky faded into pale purples and pretty pinks as a 'young' white haired boy walked down the many streets of Domino glaring at anything that moved within his area. His brown eyes narrowed as he scowled at anything living for like Seto he had a reputation but his was to scare the living shit out of people and his main target these days happened to be the Pharaoh.

Street lights flicked on as bats danced across the sky but the real darkness was walking down the streets growling low in his throat at the failure he suffered today. All day he had spent looking for the Pharaoh but when he finally found his target it seemed his opponent was one step ahead of him. The Tombrobber snarled at a passing cat as the image of the victorious Pharaoh played in his mind, why was it Yami was one step ahead of the game each time? The answer Shadow magic. He remembered the day well for today the Pharaoh had humiliated him by pushing him in the pond that was outside the school grounds by using that cursed puzzle that hang around his neck. Why couldn't his Ring do the same? He thought this everyday but still Bakura never found out the answer but there was one weakness the Pharaoh had which he knew about. A salacious smile went across Bakura's face "hehehe Yugi..." as he walked to his home which he shared with his light Ryou thinking of ways to injure the Pharaoh deeply, after all he was Yami's oldest rival apart from Kaiba. "Watch out Yami!!! I'm coming after you...again..." and down the street he went.

Footstep after footstep he finally reached his den, or home as Ryou called it, to be greeted with sweet scenting red roses in the front yard. "I'll have to tell him to get rid of those disgusting things" he growled as a blast of shadow energy escaped his hands hitting the roses causing them to wilt "hehehe that's better" he smiled whilst rubbing his hands. Slowly he placed his hands round the door handle but noticed that the lights in the window were switched off "Weird Ryou's normally home by now????" but he walked inside anyway not expecting to hear voices coming from the kitchen. There he stood in the lounge taking off his shirt like he always did leaving him topless to recognise the voices of both his light and the another light in the other room. "Well, well, looks like I dont have to look for Little Yugi after all...hehehe." he smiled to himself as he walked towards the kitchen resting his body against the wall. "What are those two talking about?" he thought as he listened to the conversation not wanting to miss a second for some strange unknown reason. "Just like the good old days." Bakura smirked as he eavesdropped on the pair not realising the evil authoress had picked him for the next eavesdropper. Bakura now its your time to shine and eavesdrop!!!

_**In the kitchen with Ryou and Yugi**_

_"So Ryou why did you invite me over then? You said it was something important."_

**"Oh it is Yugi!!! Very important you see I have a new thing I want Bakura to try but I wanted to test it out on you first."**

_"You want me to try this new thing out? Well ok then!"_

**"Right just stay there ok!"**

_"Ok!"_

**"Right now close your eyes."**

_"There closed."_

**"Good! Now open your mouth!"**

_"Mouth is now open captain"_

**"Rodger Sailor!! Now I'm sorry if it gets messy but you know what i'm like."**

_"Ok. I'll try my best to hold it all in this time!"_

**"Ready Yugi?"**

_"Ready!"_

**"Here it is!!! Enjoy!"**

Silence was heard from the kitchen until a small moan of delight came from the kitchen. Bakura didn't care at first but when the moans became more frequent this was when he started to worry. Slowly he tried to move away but found that he was stuck to the spot which meant he was staying. Bakura sighed and continued to listen.

_"Yum...ah...Ryou...th...this is so good!"_

**"Ah...ye...yes...Yugi this is heaven!"**

_"Ryou give me some more please!!"_

**"Of course I will my friend!"**

_"Ah yes...this...is it!!! More!!! More!!!"_

**"For such a small boy you have a large mouth."**

_"All the better to taste your delicacies then! please Ryou give me more!!"_

**"How much more?"**

_"Stop it you tease! This is so good!!! More please!!! more!!!"_

**"Ah your so sweet when you beg like that! I don't think I'm going to last much longer in this heaven."**

_"Ryou! I could last all day doing this for you...I want it now!!! Give it to me!!"_

**"Yugi this is going to be the last one and then it's over i'm afraid! the mixture will be all gone after this."**

_"Well i'll treasure the moment then!"_

**"What by sucking on it like that? If you say so."**

_"This is so tasty...I have to do this more often with you."_

**"Ah look it's all gone!"**

_"Oh Ra!!! That was so good! Sure you don't have any more left?"_

"He won't have anything left once I'm done with him!!!"

Both boys looked at the doorway and noticed a topless Bakura staring at them, especially at Yugi with a hint of mischief in his eyes. **"Bakura!! You missed it they were so tasty!"**. Bakura looked at the table and then back at the boys and noticed crumbs around there faces with warm cups of tea on the table. "Ryou what were you eating exactly?" questioned the yami as Yugi began to giggle at Ryou who was staring at Bakura's naked top half. **"We were eating a special treat from my country which happens to be...Tea and Scones!!"** smiled the hikari as Bakura sweat dropped at the sight. "Tea and Scones?" sighed the yami as Ryou nodded as a reply **"Yep and you wouldn't of guessed Yugi had such a sweet tooth."**. A smirk grew on the Tombrobbers face as he heard the smaller lights name being mentioned "Yugi what brings you round here then?". Yugi gulped and tried to smile back, failing badly and replied _"Er no reason at all...er I best be going Ryou see you later"_ quickly dashing towards the door, being grabbed by Bakura on the way. The Tombrobber lowered down to the boys ear and whispered "You may thing Ryou's scones are nice but if you want the real deal come to me and i'll give you my real 'scones' sometime. Maybe Yami can join in too if he wants?" casing the boy to run out of the door.

_"See you Ryou!!!"_

**"See you Yugi! What did you tell him Bakura?"**

"Nothing. Ryou do you want to try my scones out? There fresh and creamy."

**"Sure where are they?"**

_"Right here!"_

**"BBBAAAAKKKKUUUURRRRAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"**

**(End of Chapter)**

There you go another chapter done and another one on it's way! I can't believe I'm already on Chapter 10 and have over 130 reviews already!!! Thanks everyone and thanks to....

**mellinde, Sami, Lia Xaragi, Aoi Dragon, jonouchi-kaiba-mokie **(I liked the Pyramid of Light movie! I saw it twice in cinema and 13 times now altogether and i'm thinking about you're idea ok) **Telecoi, Shy, PeaceSeeker, Hakiri-Nefertiri and Dark Artemis **for reviewing my last chapter. You guys are the best!!!

Well as you know I have been asking other people to type my authors note for me and if you want to do my authors note one time then please say so in a review or e-mail me using the address which is on our profile. Speaking of authors notes thanks to PeaceSeeker for the authors note and I was wondering if **jonouchi-kaiba-mokie** would like to do the next authors note for me? Please e-mail me and say if you want to or not? I'll tell you the details then!

So overall I hope you enjoyed the chapter and I'm sorry if it was short but please review!!! Thats all and thanks again!

**Next Chapter: **31st January!

**Pairing: **Male/Female (that's the only clues I'm giving from now on!)

Yugi


	11. Joey and Mai

**A series of unfortunate 'sexual' events**

**Yugi: **Hello people I am so sorry this is late but due to lack of inspiration, energy, sleep I have put this chapter up say a month later then planned, but have no fear for now after a little break I am back and ready for more sweet, sweet eavesdropping and getting your lovely reviews. So all I got to say is that I'm sorry and I hope this chapter makes up for lost time...So over to **Jonouchi-Kaiba-Mokie** for the next authors note. Thankies.

Hey, this is Jonouchi-Kaiba-Mokie here and Yugi, the author, asked me to do the author's note for this chapter, so here we go.

**Bakura's Angel:** Big sister, why are you doing this?

**Jonouchi-Kaiba-Mokie:** Cause, I was asked.

**Yami-Jou:** She has a point hikari, you hate this pairing.

**Jonouchi-Kaiba-Mokie:** Who asked you?

**Bakura's Angel:** But, big sister, you write yaoi.

**Jonouchi-Kaiba-Mokie:** So? (Chases Bakura's Angel and Yami-Jou around.) Both of you, quiet! Anyways, here's the chapter and I hope everyone enjoys it as much as I'm sure I will. Any comments?

**Bakura's Angel:** No big sister. I like being able to sit.

**Yami-Jou:** evil grin I'll tell you tonight.

**Jonouchi-Kaiba-Mokie:** rolls eyes Thank you, Yami!

**Key**

speech: Serenity (Shizuka) Speaking

**Speech: **Joey (Jounouchi) Speaking

_Speech: _Mai Speaking

Speech: Others Speaking

**Chapter Eleven: **_Joey and Mai_

Daylight was disappearing as the orb of Ra slowly crept lower, casting a dark cloak of shadow upon the town of Domino. Students walked along the slightly littered roads, for today was Friday and no one had a care in the world. Girls waited on the corners, cigarettes placed in between there fake, cheap nailed fingers, as boys would whistle at them expecting something in return but never got anything. Some boys tried there luck on a girl most commonly known to some as 'The Friendship Freak', but all Téa did was roll her eyes and stuck her finger up at them. Maybe she's not so friendly after all?

The boys were still hanging around the town as they noticed another girl walk up the road, her brown eyes searching desperately for something or someone. The lads smiled and surrounded her whilst she still looked around. Suddenly she bumped into one of them and looked up at him "Oh I'm sorry." she tried to walk past but was blocked. "Excuse me please." Serenity tried to pass again but was still blocked by a large boy with a short ponytail, she sighed as she remembered him and glared at him. "Hirutani (A.n: Don't own him. He is a character taken from Volume Two of the Yu-Gi-Oh! Manga. He is in Duel 11: The Wild Gang (Part One) and Duel 12: The Wild Gang (Part Two) That's all) please let me pass.." Serenity growled as a warning. Hirutani laughed at her along with his gang. "Well if it isn't Miss Wheeler. I see the attitude runs in the family." he laughed as he grabbed hold of her shoulders, causing her to wince. "Hirutani! Let. Me. Go!" Serenity shouted at him. He only laughed more at her causing Serenity to growl low in her throat. "That's it!" she shouted as she got her foot out and kicked Hirutani in between the legs, causing him to topple over. She smiled proudly "And just like my puppy dog brother, This dog bites." she said as she walked off down the road leaving Hirutani and his gang to think about never getting a Wheeler angry again.

Her hair blew madly with the wind as she stormed up the street, it matched her mood at the moment for her brother had badly upset her today. Joey was meant to wait for her after school to walk her back home because of Hirutani and his gang trying to get her as their own, but today he had forgotten and Serenity was mad about it. "Joey Wheeler, once I get my hands on you...your going to be thrown into a dog pound." she smirked for now was not the best time in the month to be making a girl mad, but it's too late for him now as she walked nearer to the house he knew Joey would be at...Mai Valentine's.

Serenity smiled as she stood out side the house looking at the bike that was parked neatly on the drive. She walked towards the front door and knocked on it gently, but the door opened all by itself. Serenity blinked in confusion but walked into the house anyway. "Joey? Mai? you in here?" She called as she looked around not seeing the pair anywhere. "Where could they of gone to?" She walked around the kitchen until she heard a familiar voice.

**"Thats great Mai."**

Serenity looked through the window and saw the pair outside in the garden. She blinked but then a smirk crossed her face, Serenity wanted revenge and she was going to get it. She crept outside and hid in the shed on the patio. She heard their footsteps go past as she shut the door but then she heard weird noises and sounds coming from outside. Serenity thought about going outside but decided on staying inside to see what was going on. Poor girl, Joey should of been a good influence on her but obviously not...Serenity you have been chosen as the next eavesdropper...#plays a recording of evil laughter#...hehehe.

_**Outside with Joey and Mai**_

_"So Joey what do you think so far?"_

**"I think it's pretty good, but you said you were going to save the best for last?"**

_"I did say that didn't I Joseph Wheeler. Well let me show you this first then I will show you the best last."_

**"Okay."**

_"Here we go.."_

**"Whoa Mai. What great pears you have!"**

_"Yep! There home-grown and they are ripe for the plucking."_

**"Could I..Could I try one?"**

_"Sure. Go ahead."_

**"YAY! Oh Mai..this is so tasty.."**

_"I know...but i've heard there a bit too big..maybe I should shrink them down?"_

**"NO! Don't Mai..You have a great pear there...dont change them please.."**

_"If your happy with them Joey, then I am too. After all they are mine.."_

Serenity blinked in confusion but kept silent as footsteps passed the shed door. She wanted to get out but heard they were nearby so she continued to listen.

_"Joey..Here you go I saved the best last."_

**"Where lets look?"**

_"Here you go."_

**"WHAO MAI! LOOK AT THOSE MELONS YOU HAVE!"**

_"Yep. Im so proud of them. There my babies."_

**"Just look at them. The smooth curve and the lush, ripe skin of them."**

_"Would you like a taste?"_

**"Really? YES PLEASE!"**

_"Go right ahead Joey. There all yours."_

**"Yum..Come to pupa!"**

_"Just be gentle with them okay."_

**"I will..."**

_"Joey what are you doing?"_

**"What does it look like? Im eating.."**

_"But please dont nibble so hard...They are precious to me.."_

**"So how should I treat your precious melons then Mai?"**

_"Like this.."_

**"Oh so you want me to suck them instead?"**

_"Yes Joey...I want you to have every single drop of my melon's sweet juice.."_

**"Okay..here goes nothing.."**

"Brother Stop It!"

Both Joey and Mai looked towards the shed and noticed the younger Wheeler sister looking traumatised and quite white too.

**"Hey sis. You okay?"** Joey asked carefully for at the moment Serenity looked spooked. Soon enough Serenity snapped out of her daze and looked at Mai, noticing a fruit was in her hands. She pointed to it unsure of what it was and asked "Er Mai...What is that?". Mai blinked at her then looked at her hands and began to laugh. _"Serenity this is a melon, My melon.." _she laughed as Joey too began to laugh at his dumbfounded sister. "A..a..a..Melon...that's your melon." she asked. Mai nodded and she leaned closer to the younger Wheeler whispering into her ear as Joey looked at them both confused. Mai leaned closer to her ear and whispered...

_"Would you like a suck of my melons?"_

**(End of Chapter)**

There you go and I'm so sorry if it wasn't funny and that it was so late..im so very, very sorry. Well I hope that makes up for it and please review...and here are the review thanks which will be said by Yami...

Yami: er hem..Yugi would like to thank the following people for reviewing..**mellinde, Dark Artemis, Sami, Aoi Dragon, PeaceSeeker, jonouchi-kaiba-mokie, Hakiri-Nerfertiri, Shorea Tashinnaku, Kiko cat, heidi of the woodland rea, otaku22 and Yami-Bs-Girl** and also thanks to those who sent reviews about the authors note about the death of a friend of the family, Yugi appreciated them greatly. Thanks.

Now can you let me go?

#Looks at Yami who is tied up to a chair# Er No...I have plenty of ideas for what I could do with you...hehehe..So yep thanks everyone and please I promise my chapters will not be late again...I PROMISE! Thanks...especially to **jonouchi-kaiba-mokie **for the authors note. Thankies and please review...bye

Yugi

**Next Chapter: **18th March

**Pairing: **Boy/Boy


	12. Yami and Bakura

**A series of unfortunate 'sexual' events**

Hey everyone!

I'm sorry this chapter is extremely late again but you see someone...

**Yami: **You mean **YOU!**

Fine, okay...You see I was very naughty and decided to go on the computer at 1:00 in the morning, thinking my parents would not catch me for I've done this loads of times, but sadly my mum walked in on me and so the computer was disconnected and well lets say we were not happy about it. Trust me, they actually nearly got rid of the computer all together so it's lucky that they have given me a second chance...so yeah it's true...im a bad, naughty girl..

**Seto:** Do you ever shut up?

Er...no, not really...only my friends know how to shut me up and even so I'll still be yapping on...hey aren't I doing that right now? sorry...so here are the review replies...

**kiko cat: **I know your review was over the authors note but hey, I have no more writers block...I now have my head full of The Cold War due to stupid revision for what our school calls, 'Very Important Tests' but to you and me there called GCSE's. Thanks for the review!

**Hakiri-Nefertiri: **I love getting your reviews it makes me think that you have a supply of laughing gas with you every single time you read a chapter of my story. It makes me laugh reading the reviews. Don't worry about people thinking your crazy, I get that all the time..maybe because if anyone says the word Yugi or Yami I go all fangirl mode. So yeah thanks for the review!

**Shy: **Well as you can tell the evil writes block has left me..and has decided to get Mai instead...hehehe, but she gets through it by looking up images of Tala (The annoying red red..or ginger..from Beyblades, I hate that show!) with his well built chest (well in my opinion it pales in comparison to Yami's chest. Whoa what a body he has...too bad they cover him up with a potato sack when he goes against Dartz! EVIL!). So yeah thankies and here I'll hug you back:hugs shy: Thanks!

**PeaceSeeker: **Hey I haven't spoken to you in ages, im sorry about that..I really am! I got caught in the craze of going onto chat rooms, but now im off that and it's back to good old Yu-Gi-Oh! and me! Thanks and read on!

**whitedestinypuresnow: **Oh I like the name..apart from one word..'Destiny'. For everyone who knows me well, I hate that word..after hearing Yami say destiny about 8 times or more per episode you couldn't help but think..SHUT THE HELL UP! But still I love Yami all the same and I'm glad Dan Green decided to stop saying that line. Thanks for the review and keep reading and please tell me your ideas!

**Sami Ryou's Hikari: **Hey is that the same Sami who reviews like every chapter? Thankies for sticking with me and just like Hakiri-Nefertiri I like getting your reviews too! I agree the last line was disturbing but really...so am I. So here's the next chapter and review again please!

**bearsapphire: **Thanks for the idea and i'm thinking about it at the moment but right now I promised my best bud I would use her idea after I said I would about 3 months ago..hehe opps. So yeah thanks for the review and idea!

**Hawk-EVB: **Well like you said, I should do something with Mai in it...and I did! So thanks for the review and keep reading!

**oreosarecool: **You got images in your head? I think many people do who read this and yeah I will keep writing this! I have too many reviews to stop now. You have the Yu-Gi-Oh! Movie..so do I, i've seen that film..er..55..wait update here..i've now seen it...65 times now! I HAVE NO LIFE! I agree with you it's cool...you gotta' love the bit when Yugi's running away from the mummies, that cracks me up everytime...how does Dan Green do it? Oh well thanks again!

**mariko: **Nasty? I didn't mean to make it nasty...i'm sorry, but hey you said you enjoyed it otherwise..and i'm glad you did! Thanks and read this!

**Dark Artemis, Murder, atemu's lover and otaku22: **Thanks for the review concerning the passing away of my friend. Thanks and enjoy this chapter!

**xXXkIkOkEnxXx: **Yeah poor Serenity, but hey everyone has suffered something like this once in their lives so really poor everyone. Thanks for the review and keep reading!

**jonouchi-kaiba-mokie: **Hey thanks for the review! Was there flirting going on? Who knows...hehehehehe..oh well glad you liked the chapter, and I can't remember do you like the Yami/Seto pairing or not..I personally hate it, but news flash! I'm starting to get used to it now..but still Yugi/Yami is the best! WE NEED MORE YUGI/YAMI STORIES! er..hehehe..thanks!

**S.Chensu and Luff: **I just knew I was going to get a long review from you once I read your pename. I'M SORRY ABOUT THE GRAMMER AND THE SPELLING! I'll make up for it..somehow..how about this chapter goes to you two? Will that do..but personally i am regretting doing this pairing because of dear Chen...read on to find out why. Luff please dont go on about GCSE's..there evil..I have like Stalin and Hitler in my head after revising history and my art exam work is well...it's on it's way. So yeah thanks for reviewing and yeah scones are tasty, and filling but Yami knows Bakura is more filling then scones..hehe..on with the snory...opps I mean story and review again please.

**Shorea Tashinnaku: **Oh I just love getting told I did an excellent job, minus the bad spelling and grammar, but hey thanks for the review and yes I will keep up the good work. Thanks again!

**Xx sTaR-bLuE-AnGeL xX: **You laughed your ass off did you? Im glad! I live to make people happy and creative is my middle name..well actually it's not but you say my story is original? WOW THANKS! I love it when people say that..it just goes to show you my sick mind pleases others...wait even that sounded wrong. Opps! Oh well thanks and review!

**A reader...dum dum dum dum: **Oh Ra! Sorry no offence once I read the pename I couldn't help but laugh..sorry I thought it was funny. Im glad you like my stories and yes don't worry Yami's Weekly will make an appearance again in a later chapter! So yeah thanks again!

**Sesshomaru's Bitch1026:** You have that many Yu-Gi-Oh! mangas...22 of them...sadly pal you are wrong..there are in fact a total of 37 volumes of Yu-Gi-Oh! manga and not 22 and trust me when it comes to Yu-Gi-Oh! I know a lot...well according to Mai anyway, but I'm glad a fellow Yu-Gi-Oh! fiend likes my story...but you must be from like USA or somewhere like that to have that many mangas for in the UK we only have about up to volume 9 out. I can tell you like InuYasha by the pename for isn't that like Inu's brother? Well sadly they dont air InuYasha in the UK so I don't know that much about it...sorry..but thanks for the review.

Well there you have it..thanks and enjoy this chapter of my er...head guttering story **a series of unfortunate 'sexual' events** and please review at the bottom. Thanks and enjoy!

**Chapter dedicated to _S.Chensu and Luff_ for always reminding me to check for spelling mistakes more often! (but as you can tell...I don't) Thanks my friends!**

**Key**

speech: Malik speaking (Yami Malik/Marik)

**speech: **Yami speaking (Yami Yugi)

_speech: _Bakura speaking (Yami Bakura)

**Chapter Twelve: **_Yami and Bakura_ (Oh Ra! What have I done!)

Another day was beginning in the town of Domino as Ra once again rose high in the watercolour sky (wow! That rymed!) as flocks of doves glided along the gentle breeze. The tall building of Kaiba Corp was glistening as the sun's golden rays reflected off the building's windows, and shimmering silver walls.

Short and tall figures walked down the streets as a person with weird spiked up blonde hair skipped down the road, clasping a video tape in his hand. (A.N: Does anyone remember what video tape Marik took away from his Yami and said it was bad for him? Go back to Chapter 3 and you will find the answer...) The boys smirk widened as he held the tape proud to his built chest, his purple cape flapping behind him with his strides. The Millennium Rod glowed in the sunlight as his violet eyes watched the tits fly in the sky. (A.N: When I say tits I mean..Blue tits or Great tits..not well...you know..)

Bronze tanned arms which showed strong muscles glowed slightly in the daylight as the boy mumbled to himself. "I'm so glad Marik didn't find out about this tape, otherwise well...it would be...horrible." Malik said as he walked down more streets heading towards his friends house, the Care Bears tape still held within a firm grasp.

"I still don't know who is my favourite...maybe Grumpy Bear? No wait that bear is like a combo of Kaiba and Yami...which means trouble. No my favourite is Share Bear, wait a second that's like the midget...what's his name? Yugi yeah...that pink bear is like him." Malik mumbled to himself as people stared at him thinking "What's with the weirdo?".

Malik still wondered down many roads, still thinking of his favourite care bear. "Oh who gives a shit! Most of them are like a combo of Téa, Ryou and Yugi anyway and not many people care about them...apart from those stupid Yami's and well there like Care Bears as well. Oh Ra the world is turning into Care-a-lot! NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he screamed as he slammed the tape down on the ground causing many people to stare at him weirdly. Malik smirked at the destroyed tape and then looked at everyone around him licking his lips in a hungry manner "What are you all looking at? I JUST SAVED YOUR LIVES!". Everyone continued to stare at him thinking he was weird whilst Malik frowned "This is the thanks I get for saving your life?" he moaned as he pulled out his Millennium Rod. "FINE THEN!" Malik laughed manically as every person in the area was surrounded in a purple mist and then there bodies disappeared into the Shadow Realm. Malik stuck his tongue out and put his rod back as he continued to walk along whistling as if nothing happened.

House after house was all Malik saw and he was getting tired of it. He stopped on the spot and then thought to himself 'How come I didn't take the motorcycle?' as this question played on his mind. "Oh well, doesn't matter anyway." he said as a grin appeared on his face 'Marik's 'motorcycle' is more enjoyable to ride on then my motorcycle' he thought as he soon reached the house he was looking for. He looked at the red English roses on the front lawn and looked at them in disgust. With one swing of his Millennium Rod he sent them to the Shadow Realm, grinning madly as he did so. "There much better!" he laughed. Malik walked towards the front door and shrugged his shoulders as put the blade from the millennium rod into the key hole, opening it with little effort.

Malik walked around the lower level of Ryou and Bakura's house and saw no sign of the ancient Tombrobber or his hikari. "Looks like no ones home." he grinned as he flopped onto the sofa. He sat still humming until he heard a thump upstairs followed by a few more thuds. "What's going on up there?" Malik wondered as he began to walk towards the stairs. He took a few steps and then one of the voices caught his attention.

**"What have you done?"**

Malik paused on the steps and smirked. "Well looks like the Pharaoh's here with the Tombrobber I guess. Sounds interesting." he laughed as he reached the top step and sat down on it, placing the Millennium Rod back into his trouser pocket. He sat quietly as he began to listen to the conversation.

Ra if I got a pound for every time a person eavesdropped I would be rich, well twelve pounds rich and so sorry Malik but you have added another pound to my collection, you stupid yami. hehehehehe.

**_Inside Bakura's bedroom with Yami and Bakura_** (In other words..the fit and the disturbed)

**"What have you done you stupid white haired freak!"**

_"Nothing my dear Yami-kins, for it was you who did it to me as well."_

**"What? Your saying this thing is my fault!"**

_"Hey! Watch were your pointing that thing! You could poke my eye out with that!"_

**"Well get off the floor then."**

_"Fine, but you've got to admit...he certainly is a big one."_

**"I don't care about what size it is! THIS IS YOUR FAULT!"**

_"No need to shout about it. You should be proud to have such a big boy."_

**"Don't you care about your own one?"**

_"Well yeah. Look at it! It's massive!"_

**"Yes. I can see that."**

_"So what shall we do with them?"_

**"I'm doing nothing. You did this and so your going to be the one to sort them out!"**

_"So I get to sort out yours as well then?"_

**"YES!"**

_"For Ra's sake Pharaoh...STOP SHOUTING!"_

**"I'M NOT SHOUTING!"**

_"Your just jealous..."_

**"Jealous? What am I jealous of?"**

_"That my boy is harder then yours..."_

**"What! I don't care if yours is harder and stronger then mine! At est I have a soft one."**

_"Is that a good thing?"_

**"Tombrobber!"**

Malik was still sitting on the stairs as he blinked in a puzzled manner. He stood up and walked across to the door and leant against the wall trying to listen to more of the conversation. He thought about going in but after hearing a few thuds, thumps and also some moaning he thought it was best not to. Instead he continued to listen.

_"Oh Ra! Yami that hurt!"_

**"Well don't insult what's mine and then I won't punish you like that!"**

_"Your just envious oh mighty Pharaoh for unlike you...I have a rampant rabbit!"_

**"A what?"**

_"You sound surprised. Aww is Yami-kins upset that the all powerful Bakura sees and gets more action then him. Aww"_

**"I'm not upset..."**

_"Really?"_

**"Yes really. This is just my normal face."**

_"That's normal?"_

**"Do you have a death wish?"**

_"No, but still I think your down because my boy is bigger, harder and more energetic then yours!"_

**"I DON'T CARE! JUST SORT OUT MY PROBLEM AND THEN I'LL GO!"**

_"Ask nicely..."_

**"For Ra's sake. Bakura will you please sort it out for me...p..pp.pl.."**

_"Say It!"_

**"Oh please Bakura, help me!"**

_"That's better."_

**"Well? Hurry up then!"**

_"Hmm. Hey he has soft skin."_

**"That's because I wash him everyday."**

_"And you've done a wonderful job. It's in perfect condition apart from it's moving.."_

**"Because your looking at it."**

_"That makes me feel special. Well here we go Yami."_

**"Ready and waiting. Just be gentle okay."**

_"You know me Pharaoh, after all I've helped you do this before."_

**"How can I forget. Come on then! Get on with it."**

_"Right. 3..2...1"_

"Can I help too?"

Both yami's turned to the door and spotted Malik licking his lips hungrily. He moved forward as he saw Bakura get up and sit back onto his bed clutching hold of something as Yami held tightly onto something in his lap. "What's wrong?" Malik asked as he noticed Yami's hand moving up and down on his lap whilst his crimson eyes glared at the psycho yami. **"This is all Bakura's fault!"** growled Yami as he picked up a black bundle and walked over to Malik. Malik looked at the object in the Pharaoh's arms and noticed it was shaking madly, on closer inspection he noticed two long ears with black fur all over them and the one thing that stood out was this thing had amethyst eyes. **"Look what he did to him! And now your scaring him too!" **Yami snarled as he walked past Malik trying his best to calm down the animal in his arms. Malik blinked and then looked at Bakura as they heard the front door slam shut. "What's wrong with him?" questioned Malik as he noticed Bakura stroke a white furred creature on his lap. _"Don't know, but I guess he wasn't happy with the rabbit I got for him. heheheheheh!" _The Tombrobber laughed as it seemed the bunny in Bakura's lap was glaring at him with brown eyes. Malik just laughed and then stopped as Bakura walked up to him and placed something in his hands and then walked downstairs. The blonde haired yami looked at the heap in his hands and then began to stroke the rabbit that was in his arms.

"Hey wait a sec. Bakura why is this rabbit's fur sandy blonde and has lavender eyes?"

**(End of Chapter)**

Well chapter 12 is done and do any of you know who the 3 rabbits were? It's pretty simple if you think about the fur colour and eye colour as well. Lets see how many of you guys can get the answer.

That's all fans and so I will now leave you guys to review and hope to see you all soon but I have a message for you all...

**due to exams starting soon (well my art exam starts in about 2-3 weeks) I won't be updating as much for I have revision and preparation to do. Sorry guys but I will still be typing okay! So don't worry too much.**

See you next chapter and if you have any ideas or pairings please tell me. Thanks again and I hope you enjoyed the chapter.

Yugi

**Next pairing: **Boy/Boy


	13. Seto and Mokuba

**A series of unfortunate 'sexual' events**

**Yugi: **Hello everyone and here is the next chapter of my story..so this makes this one..Chapter 13. Oh yeah! I'm not alone in this authors note for I have a guest with me...yes our special guest is...

**Mai: **Moi...want to body shuffle?

**Yugi: **er hem..I said special guest...

**Mai: **I am special...in my own ways...Mannen and Tala should know...

**Yugi: **Oh for the love of Ra...SHUT UP!

**Mai: **YOU SHUT UP MIDGET!

**Yugi: **midget...MIDGET! I'LL GIVE YOU MIDGET!

**Mai: **Oh goodie...is it coming via e-mail or by snail mail?

**Yugi: **You are so dead...hmpf

**Mai: **Bring it on..MIDGET!

**Yugi: **Hmpf...Quit bitching and just do it...

**Mai: **'Do it'? Hmm... which guy can I have today then?

**Yugi: **Any..as long as it's not Yami..

**Mai: **I DON'T WANT YAMI! So... any guy? Hmm... decisions decisions...

**Yugi: **Just have Kaiba...okay..there all done now...or how about you have..Kei..hehehehe

**Mai: **YOU EVIL- Ahem, bleep. I DON'T WANT THEM! YOU CAN HAVE HAYATE! Wait, I WANT HIM!

**Yugi: **You can have Hayate...I don't like him...

**Mai: **Of course you don't... that's why you go all giddy when you see him...

**Yugi: **Er..right ..er..hehe..time for review thanks..

**LadyPhoenix99: **I'm glad you worked out who the rabbits were for I would be slightly worried if someone didn't get who the rabbits were. You like my story..great..I'm happy..thankies oh and also don't worry about the three rabbits..they will be back..better hop along now..opps bad joke..thanks again.

**Shorea Tashinnaku: **Yeah I agree..I think Malik would throw a fit, but then again..Malik's scary enough without doing anything. Ra I hate Malik..he scares me shit..sorry about the bad language… but hey even Yami scares me...and I'm crazy over him! He scares me when he uses the orichalcos...but Bakura scares me aswell. So really I'm scared of everything..AHH! IT'S A KEYBOARD! ..EEP LETTERS ARE APPEARING ON THE MONITOR..hehehe.see..only joking. Thanks for the review and I'm glad you liked it and also that you know who the bunnies are.

**Aoi Dragon: **I HATE EXAMS TOO! I have me first exams this week..but it's only art and someone...hehehe...has managed to sneak some things based on a certain anime into their final picture...I'm allowed to. You thought it was funny...Ra I find it weird when people say that for really I don't find any of these chapters funny yet people always say they are..weird huh. Thanks for the review.

**S.Chensu and Luff: **SCORE! SHE DID IT! SHE DID IT! SHE DID IT! OH YEAH I'M THE COOLEST! er hem...sorry..I still can't believe it...you two are so hard to please..well not true..if you placed Yugi and Yami infront of Luff...she will be like a rabbit till there's no tomorrow..hehehe.sorry..it's true. Sadly you can't have a Yugi bunny for he is in a hutch right next to me and at the moment he is..well you know with another bunny just like him..guess who?..but yeah..like I was saying...I PASSED! So my spelling and grammer wasn't as bad..I'm glad...but I can still do better. The SAASA huh...cool...I'm a member of something too...I'm a member of the local mental hospital...does that count? Well anyway thanks for the review and I hope you like this chapter.

**Hawk-EVB: **Coffee..YUCK! I hate the stuff..sorry..as a fellow english girl..I drink tea with my pinky in the air. It's good to see a hyper person about but unlike you..I don't have to eat sugar to be hyper...I'm hyper naturally. Yes you were right about the bunnies and they will be appearing again soon...very soon. Thanks for the review.

**shy: **Hey I haven't heard from you for a while pal...how have you been?

I'm sorry if I embarrassed you with the hug..I hug everyone..it's fun. Yep I think you got the bunnies right and I used to have rabbits once...they were called Sandy, Pepper, Berty and Charlie..sadly they are all dead and my rabbit (sandy) died by suffocating on a fly, yet my sister and parents think it's because I didn't feed it..IT SUFFOCATED ON A FLY FOR A FED IT EVERY DAY! Well the only pet we have now is a sexually frustrated dog called Henry. Glad you liked the chapter and review again soon.

**Seto's Other Sister: **It sounds like you've watched too many McDonald adverts for you review sounded like one..e.g. 'I'm loving it'..sorry it just did that's all. I'm glad you like it and enjoy this chapter.

**Atemu's Lover: **Ahh..looks like I have a rival in love...damn. I want Yugi and Yami..Let's play rock, paper, scissors for them...right ready...WAIT! That's stupid we all know Yugi is Yami's love and so that's it. Oh well...I'll find someone else...(Mai: yeah..Hayate..hehehe) I DON'T FANCIE HAYATE! Right well I am posting soon and I hope you like this chapter as much as the last ones. Thanks!

**oreosarecool: **Hey thanks for the idea...I never actually thought of that pairing before...so thanks and enjoy the chapter.

**Lover to Malik: **I have problems? Why did you say that...oh well I get told that all the time..hey when you said that did you mean it in a bad way or good way? but you did say my story is cool so I'm happy. I listened to your plee and as you can tell..I've updated...Thanks for the review!

**Lia Xaragi: **Okay so in the review it stated a different name but I know it's you so yeah..I'll shut up now. I'm glad you reviewed but don't forget about the stupid tech coursework...stupid bitch of a teacher! Saying out of the blue oh yeah it's meant to be done for after the weekend. Ra I hate her! WHAT DO YOU MEAN MENTALLY DISTURBED! HOW RUDE! Bakura's only jealous for he does not hold such a wonderful body, which the Pharaoh does..Ra Yami's body rocks..wait so does Yugi's body aswell..which means Yugi and Yami's body rocks! YES! So yeah thanks for the review pal and please update your story soon..after doing your tech of course. Thanks again.

**Yugi: **That's all and also everyone knows I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! so don't sue me...If I did own it..hehehe..it would be like a hentai show..well an all Yugi and Yami show..hehehe...Read and Review peeps.

**Mai: **Everyone latest update: It has been revealed just now at 20:35 that my dear sister Yugi does fancie Hayate from Prétear. It's official...that's Mai Valkov reporting for you ready to begin body shuffling..bye.

**Yugi: **It's true! I admit it..I LOVE HAYATE! that's all...

**Key**

speech: Joey speaking (Katsuya Jonouchi)

**speech: **Kaiba speaking (Seto Kaiba)

_speech: _Mokuba speaking

SPEECH: Bakura speaking (Yami Bakura)

speech: Malik speaking (Yami Malik/Marik)

**_SPEECH: _**Yami speaking (Yami Yugi)

**Chapter Thirteen: **_Seto and Mokuba_ (It's Incest!)

Another day began as the shops welcomed the day's happy shoppers and sellers with happiness. Many weird shop names were labelled along the roads but one shop stuck out like a sore thumb... a store right near the end of the street called 'KC pet shop'.

He sat on the till alone as locks of blonde hair hang loosely in front of his hazelnut eyes, a name tag pinned to his blue jacket which clearly stated in black ink the name 'Joseph Wheeler'. Neatly he placed the magazine he was reading on the floor as he heard footsteps approach the counter, recognising them as he heard the gentle clink of metal which could only mean a certain tri-coloured haired male.  
Yami stood in front of the till nervously as he placed a wooden hutch and rabbit food in front of Joey, receiving a look from the blonde haired teen as he looked at the rabbit supplies. "Hey Yams'? What's with the rabbit stuff?" the pup asked looking at the once proud Pharaoh who had has head hung low. Joey sighed and then just began to scan the items until he heard noises that were like scratching and biting. Yami looked up at Joey and then gave a weak smile as he bent down and appeared again with a brown cardboard box. **_"THAT SOUND YOU HEARD WAS THIS LITTLE THING..."_** the Pharaoh said as he lifted up the box by his feet and placing it on the counter, lifting up the lid slowly as the scratching became louder. Hazelnut eyes looked with concern as he saw the Pharaoh place his hands into the box and pull out something with black fur and long ears. Joey walked out from behind the counter and looked at the animal in Yami's arms recognising it to be a rabbit. "Aww that's so cute. A pet for Yugi by any chance?" Joey smiled whilst running his hand over the bunnies fur gently, noticing the said animal to be looking at him with amethyst eyes. "Hey Yams this rabbit looks just like Yugi. Weird huh?" the pup laughed as the Pharaoh and the rabbit sweat dropped as Yami stroked it's fur. **_"CAN I JUST BUY MY THINGS PLEASE AND THEN I'LL BE OFF.."_** the Pharaoh said with a sigh as the blonde haired teen scanned each item and Yami handed over the money. The Pharaoh picked up his new brought items and then smiled at Joey as he began to walk out of the shop.

"Hey Yams' one question...What's the rabbits name?"

The said Pharaoh turned round and smiled as he ruffled the bunnies fur. **_"IT'S YUGI."_** and so he left the shop to leave the pup all alone again. "Yugi huh? Why call a pet after someone you know?"

Minutes flew past as Joey fed the tropical fish that were in the shop. He walked towards the bird section until he heard the sound of the door being opened. "Wonder who that is?" he said as he walked towards the counter, sighing as he recognised the customers.

"See there's no one here..It's just an empty shop."

"NO I SENSE SOMEONES HERE MALIK."

Joey walked up to the Tombrobber and patted him on the back. "Can I help?" he asked. Bakura turned round and glared at the pup and then smirked "WHY YES. WE DO NEED YOUR HELP, RIGHT MALIK." he looked at the other yami but noticed he was on the floor laughing. Joey and the tombrobber blinked at the psycho yami as he rolled about on the floor in fits of laughter, rolling into a large cardboard box by Bakura's feet. "Bakura that's so funny. The pup's working in a pet shop and it happens to be Kaiba's shop." he laughed again. Joey growled low in his throat as he repeated "Can I help you?". Bakura picked up the box by his feet and slammed it onto the counter. "YES YOU CAN PUPPY DOG. WE WANT TO SELL OUR PETS." Bakura smiled as he opened the lid and pulled out a white rabbit by the scruff of it's neck and held it in front of the pet shop worker. "You want to sell that, but it's such a cute bunny." Joey smiled as he looked at the brown eyed white rabbit. "Hey I want to sell mine too!" Malik shouted as he also pulled out a rabbit from the box by it's sandy ears, but ended up getting bitten in the arm in the process. "AHH! Why you little..When I get my hands on you your dead." he glared at the sandy rabbit which had hoped into Joey's arms. Malik folded his arms, wincing slightly at the cut the rabbit made; as he glared at the animal. "Bakura I still think we should turn them into a fur coat, or maybe a pair of gloves." the psycho yami pouted as Joey moved behind the counter and took the white rabbit out of Bakura's hands. "No one has ever sold pets to us before so I'll have to see the boss about this. If you leave the rabbits with me I'll phone you with the reply." the pup smiled. Both the Tombrobber and Psycho smiled as they looked at the rabbits, which at this point were shaking in fright rapidly. "That means I will have to close shop for the phone here doesn't work." Joey smiled. "FINE, FINE WE'LL LEAVE." Bakura sighed as he grabbed the other yami and dragged him out of the door, slamming it shut after him. "Phew, I thought they would never leave." Joey sighed as he placed the rabbits back into box and switched off the lights. "Nights guys." he smiled as he walked towards a wall and pushed a button revealing a passageway. "He would they think Kaiba wouldn't install and secret passage to his office...he" Joey laughed as he walked down the path leaving the two rabbits and the other animals all alone.

He walked into the office placing his jacket onto the desk and jumping into Kaiba's large black leather swivel chair. "Nice pad Rich Boy has." he smiled as he spun around on the chair. "Were is the Spoilt Brat anyway?" Joey asked as he got up and walked towards a door which was covered in Blue Eyes images. "Man, Kaiba's obsessed with those things." he sighed as he stood before the door placing his hand on the handle. he heard voices form the other side but thought that it was best not to interrupt for he knew the CEO would not be happy so he decided to stay outside instead. "Wonder what there talking about?" the pup questioned as he leaned his ear against the door trying to listen to the conversation. "Sounds interesting." he smiled as he listened to the CEO.

There was a dog that eavesdropped, and Joey was his nameo...J-o-e-y, J-o-e-y, J-o-e-y and Joey was his nameo.

_**Inside the other room with Kaiba and Mokuba**_

**"Right Mokuba as your becoming a growing young man you have to learn how to do grown up things."**

_"Like what big brother?"_

**"Well there are times in life were in certain areas things go hard and stiff."**

_"Oh you get that all the time Seto."_

**"Yes that's true Mokuba but now I've noticed your starting to get this now."**

_"I am...How can I get rid of it?"_

**"This is where I come in. I'm going to teach you how to get rid of it."**

_"Okay Big Brother."_

**"You ready then?"**

_"Seto does everyone get this?"_

**"Yes every guy does. Yugi, Tristan even Joey gets this from time to time."**

_"So if I do this I'm a man?"_

**"You could say that. I started this at your age and every time I do it I feel refreshed and anew. Trust me Mokuba you'll feel good when doing this."**

_"If you say so Big Brother."_

**"Right to begin of with grab a firm hold round it."**

_"Gotta."_

The puppy dog blinked in confusion outside the office as he began to slowly walk backwards until he felt a tug pull him back. He noticed a leash and collar was attached to his neck. He began to struggle but when he realised he couldn't move he began to whimper. BAD DOGGY..hehehehe. (Yugi: he dog collar and leash is property of my dog Henry, please do not take otherwise he will go to the dog pound. Thanks)

**"Right see that white stuff coming out."**

_"Yeah."_

**"Put it all in your hands and then spread it all over."**

_"All over..er okay. Hey Seto?"_

**"Yes?"**

_"Why is it only guys who get this and not girls?"_

**"Girls don't have one of these but they can do this in other places."**

_"Oh so they don't get hard?"_

**"No Mokuba, they don't get these like us males."**

_"I see. What do I do now?"_

**"Right start to lightly stroke it and then run it down in a smooth motion."**

_"Like this?"_

**"No your going to fast, take it nice and slow. Enjoy the moment, relax, take a few deep breaths and then stroke."**

_"Okay.Ow Seto."_

**"Do you want me to do it for you then?"**

_"Please Big Brother. Do it for me."_

**"Right hold still."**

_"OWW! Seto your being too hard on me."_

**"You have to do this some time Mokuba, think of how the ladies will enjoy this."**

_"Your right, keep going. Faster!"_

**"Mokuba it's nearly done now."**

_"Aww..your right it was fun."_

"NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Both Kaiba brothers looked towards the door and Seto walked towards it. He listened and it sounded like whining. **"Oh great."** he sighed as he opened the door to see a blonde haired boy on the floor on all fours. "Stop it...I give okay." he pleaded. **"There's a good boy."** the CEO smirked as the said boy looked up and growled "Who are you calling a puppy dog, Kaiba!". Kaiba laughed at the mutt. **"Why who else is tied to a leash and is wearing a collar?" **he questioned. Joey snarled back "I'll kill you one day." Seto frowned and whacked Joey round the head **"BAD DOGGIE!"**. The blonde haired boy glared at the CEO and was about to leap up at him until he saw Mokuba come out with white cream on his face. _"Oh hey Joey. What are you doing here?"_ asked the younger Kaiba brother. "Er to see Rich Boy over here. Hey whats that on your face?" he asked. Mokuba blinked and then wiped off the remainder of the cream. _"Oh it's only shaving cream. Seto was teaching me how to shave." _Mokuba smiled. Joey's face paled as Seto's ice cold blue eyes twinkled with humour. "You mean you weren't. Man I've made a big mistake here." he frowned. The CEO smirked **"I knew dog's didn't have good hearing." **he said as he began to walk of with a smile, which soon became laughter.

Joey and Mokuba sweat dropped.

"He's...he's smiling."

_"A big disasters going to happen tomorrow."_

_**Meanwhile in the pet shop**_

Feet and arms poked out form the cardboard box as muffled voices came from it.

_**"RYOU MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!"**_

**"I CAN'T. I'M STUCK!"**

There was a pause until...

_**"HHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPP!"**_

**(End of Chapter)**

There you go I hope you enjoyed the chapter...I did..hehehehehehe

As I'm bored and I have this theme song in my head, I thought might as well play a game with it and see if anyone can guess what Anime the song came from. So good luck and the first person to get it right gets...er...the next chapter done for them with the pairing of their choice.

Good luck. (_type_: Japanese, **type: **English)

_Hateshinai mirai hirogaru kono sora_**  
The boundless future stretches across the skies**_  
Atarashii jibun ni umare kawaru_**  
And I am reborn anew**_  
Sekaijuu shiawase no yuki o furasete miseru yo_**  
I'll make the snow of happiness fall all over the world.**

_Unmei wa tsukamu mono kono te jiyuu ni nobaseba ii_**  
Destiny is there to be grasped, so stretch out your hands**_  
Kimerareta ahita wa nai_**  
There is no tomorrow which has already been decided**_  
Domatte ite mo wakaru ano hi deai wa guuzen janai_**  
Even if you say nothing, I know our meeting that day was no coincidence**_  
Tooi hitomi ni eien kanjita_**  
I sensed eternity in your distant gaze.**

_Kurete yuku yuuhi ga kirei_**  
The light of the setting sun is beautiful**_  
Tsumetai kaze ga hikareba_**  
If the cold wind glimmers**_  
Anata no koe sotto kikoeteru_**  
I can hear your voice drifting gently**

_Kokoro no naka hitori janai koto itai hoda_**  
Knowing that I'm not alone in my heart**_  
Kono mune o atsuku suru_**  
Warms it so much that it hurts**_  
Hajimaru ne shinjiru koto kara_**  
It all begins from the point of believing **_  
Kono kimochi ikiru akashi_**  
These feelings are proof of being alive.**

_Hateshinai mirai hirogaru kono sora_**  
The endless future and the expanding skies**_  
Atarashi jibun ni umare kawaru_**  
Allow me to be reborn anew**_  
Sekaijuu shiawas no yuki o furasete miseru yo_**  
I'll make the snow of happiness fall all over the world**_  
Sono te tsunaide_**  
Holding hands with you.**

There's the theme song and also I don't own it okay, also I didn't look up any websites for the song..I actually know all that by heart. I think some of you might not of seen this anime but to make it fair here are some clues..**  
1) It's on our profile in our anime lists/favourites  
2) First the worse (not true), _Second_** **(clue)** **the best  
3) 'Naked guys'**  
That's all the clues I'm giving and don't forget first reviewer to state the correct answer gets the next chapter dedicated to them and also gets the pairing of their choice.

Good luck and see you all next chapter.


	14. Tristan and Serenity

**A series of unfortunate 'sexual' events**

**Yugi: **Hello everybody and here is the er...#counts her fingers# 14th Chapter of my story and don't worry folks this one does not contain incest. #hears clapping and cheers in the background#. Thanks...i think.

Well if you remember last chapter I had left lyrics to an anime theme song and I asked you to guess what it was...and I'm glad to say most of you got the theme song right. The answer was... **Prétear** also known as **Shin Shirayuki Hime Densetsu Prétear**. Some people were also clever enough to state the actual song title which was of course **White Destiny**...oh how I hate that word! Damn you Yami! Oh well the lucky person to have the chapter dedicated to them and the pairing of their choice was of course...**Shorea Tashinnaku**, so I hope you like what they have chosen. Well Done!

Yami! Can you say the next part...PLEASE! It's your Destiny!

**Yami: **growls Here is the authors thank you's.

**Hakiri-Nefertiri: **I agree with you for it wasn't my cup of tea either but at least I got that pairing over and done with. Don't worry about Seto and Mokuba being together ever again, but there might be other pairings not to everyone's liking. I'm actually wondering what you thought they were up to? Hmm...please tell me..I could use it as an idea. Thanks for the review and well done for getting the theme tune right.

**jonouchi-mokie-kaiba: **So your another Beyblade fan like my sister...personally I think the show is okay, sort of but if you know me you should know what my favourite anime is. I don't like Beyblades though..but the bitbeasts are cool. Sorry, but thanks for the review and yes..Seto/Yami equals..**WRONG**!

**Hawk-EVB: **I have a feeling you've had coffee and sugar? I hope the wall didn't hurt that much and yes the song was Prétear with the very fit knight of wind, Hayate. Thankies for the review.

**Lia Xaragi: **Yes it's Prétear, Prétear, PRÉTEAR! Yes our tech teacher is a bitch but at least we won't have her anymore...YES! No sorry Marik and Ryou were not at it, sorry. Well here's the next chapter and thanks again.

**max: **I didn't think this story was that funny but I have been proven wrong once again. I like your idea of Mai/Pegasus so thank you. Oh yeah my sister says she hopes your pename did not come form the americian blonde in Beyblades (Ra I hate that show).

**A reader...dum dum dum dum: **I love the pename, sorry it makes me laugh all the time. Yep he was on a leash, my dogs leash to be precise. Yay! Bunny Hikaris! (Maybe I could do a seperate story about that idea). A girl/gril pairing will be coming soon so don't worry about that. Your right about the theme tune and thanks for the review.

**shy: **Don't worry about it. The Pugi don't mind. Please come out from hiding other wise you can't read this chapter. I'll try and keep up the good work and thanks for the review.

**S.Chensu and Luff: **Yay my constructive criticism pal is back, Im glad! (really I am). It's nice to know my best pal is making sure I keep up to scratch. I don't blame you for it...don't worry, I'm glad you do it for me. Here have a gift..#hands Luff a plushie Yugi bunny# There all better.

CHEN! I am not little, just vertically challenged. I liked that bit as well for it proves Joey is a dumb blonde. We all know Yugi is really a rampant rabbit..hehehehehehe! Thanks again guys!

**Sami Ryou's Hikari: **You were sort of right about the bunnies apart from that the bunnies were Ryou, Marik and Yugi, not Mokube or Malik im afraid. I'm imaginative..hmm...never been called that before, so thanks. You like Seto/Mokuba? That's okay if you like it..I don't..I don't like Seto, but I have to keep the fans happy even if it means writing Yami/Seto (IT'S NOT MEANT TO BE!). I ROCK...YAY! Yep it was Prétear, well done! The Apocalypse...NO! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!...AFTER REVIEWING THIS CHAPTER! Thanks.

**Aoi Dragon: **I've heard of that Inuyasha pairing before but when I first saw the image of InuYasha immediatly I thought..Bakura. It looks like him! I had to do Seto/Mokuba pairing I'm afraid. Thanks for the review and don't worry, no more Seto/Mokuba.

**LadyPhoenix99: **#pouts# No-one goes with Yami apart from Yugi..hmm...coincedence I'm called Yugi as well..one of lifes weird mysteries. I know that pairing was wrong but at least you won't have to read it ever again. Im gald you got the song right and you found the chapter funny. Thanks again.

**Dark Artemis: **Yes Prétear was the anime and thanks for saying I'm doing a good job. Thank you.

**Lover To Malik: **I'm cool? WOW! I'm normally called freak or shorty, I've never been called cool so thanks. I'm glad you like the story and I hope you keep on reading.

**Shorea Tashinnaku: **WELL DONE! Your the lucky person who got the theme tune right first so this chapter is for you..hehehe...'Sister, for Yoooooouuuuuuu' (go baby marik!). Sorry I love that qoute but how did J.T.Ross hold the you so long? 'hmm..I wonder maybe you should play it and find out' epp now I'm qouting Bakura! NO! Yes they are back to normal and I'm happy you liked the chapter. Thanks again.

**Mai Valkov: **Listen here sister..you may of got the theme tune before Shorea did but your my sister and you knew what song I was going to do anyway so your answer does not count..for RA's sake you were next to me when I was typing it up! So I'm sorry. Your Strange! Your my sister!..so what if it was Henry's leash..I'm not strange..much. Thanks for saying my story is good. Thanks Evil Harpie Women. (Ra I actually nearly put 'Herpies' instead of 'Harpie')

**Atemu's lover: **Yep it was not right at all but trust me this chapter is better (I think) and no Incest! I promise! Thanks.

Well now that the authors replies are finsihed I friend of mine has put up a story on and at the moment I'm **Badly** BETA Reading it for her..but I promise I will start to do a better job for her. I'm just a bit busy thats all for I leave school this week and I have GSCE's to do, but she has asked if I can advertise the story for her and so I shall...here it is...

**Author: **PeaceSeeker

**Genre: **Action/Adventure/Angst

**Faction Rated: **T

**Title: **Through the Pharaoh's Eye's

**Summary: **The senior class of Domino High are set to go on their class trip, their destination: Egypt. But upon their arrival; strange things begin to happen, and Yugi and his friends find themselves fighting to stay alive as things turn from bad too worse.

**Please Read It!**

Well now it's time for the chapter and once again well done to **Shorea Tashinnaku **for getting the theme song and for picking this chapters pairing..enjoy.

**Key**

Speech: Duke talking (Ryuji Otogi)

**Speech: **Tristan talking (Hiroto Honda)

_Speech: _Serenity talking (Shizuka)

**Chapter Fourteen: **_Tristan and Serenity_

The warm Monday sun sat proudly in the sky as Domino High school was buzzing with enthusiastic students happy and willing to learn, well that's how the teachers wanted it to be. The actual truth was that the weather was damp and dismal and the same could be said about the class. Majority of the students had fallen asleep whilst the light sound of typing was heard has the CEO attended to his laptop. Joey and Tristan were running round the class Panty Tanking any girl they could find. Ryou and Marik, who were back to their human selves, were munching over a bag of carrots after suddenly getting a strange obsession for the orange vegetable. Yugi's desk was empty for the young duelist was in hospital after having to be cut out of a rabbit hutch, which the doctors were still pondering how a human could actaully fit their whole body in a hutch big enough for only a baby rabbit to fit in. Yami was in a world of his own and soon found throwing screwed up paper at the CEO more enjoyable then poking Bakura in the back with a compass. Bakura and Malik were just being their normal selves, which basically meant trying to set things in fire and this time the victim happened to be the classes pet frog called Mr Ribbit. (A.N: oh How original that is!). Duke on the other hand was bored out of his mind, instead he found himself throwing his dice up and down trying to keep himself occupied for the last 5 minutes of school. (A.n: Oh how I hate that, the last 5 minutes fo school..it goes so slowly almost like it's an hour long instead...EVIL!). Each second passed as the Dice Boy countinued to throw and catch his prized dice, each throw meaning another second passed. Soon he would be out of school and back at his uncle's shop doing what he does best, Dungeon Dice Monsters.

RING!

A huge cheer was heard as the end of school bell rang and flocks of students exited the school to begin the long or short journey home, but yet a small clanking sound was still heard from within the classroom. Who would still be in school at this time?

"Yes almost done it!" Duke smiled as he was still sat at his desk, still throwing the dice into the air. He threw them into the air and was about to catch them but then, one of them hit him on the head. "Damn! There goes my record." he sighed as he looked round the classroom. "Er..hello?" Duke blinked as he scanned the room, which had nobody in it apart from himself. "DAMN!" he shouted as he grabbed his bag and quickly ran out of the door contuining to still throw his prized dice and catch them as he ran. "Come on Duke you can do this! Let's Go for it!" Duke smiled as he left the school, walking down the trying to beat his record of dice catching whilst the sun began to set very slowly.

"991...992" Duke said happily as he walked anywere trying to beat his record and at the moment he wasn't far of it. "993..994...995...99-..HEY WHAT?" The Dice Boy suddenly paled as a small white dog lept at him and grabbed one of his prized dice, waggling his little tail. "Hey nice doggy, give Uncle Duke his dice back...please!" he asked nicely as the dog barked back at him, the dice still held captive in his mouth. Duke sighed as he stepped nearer the dog, but the mutt decided to run away with Duke's prized dice. "NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO! COME BACK HERE!" he screamed as he chased after the Westie in hopes of getting his dice back.

"Give..m...me...my..d..d..dice back.." Duke wined as he still ran after the dog, panting as his feet went anywere were the dog went for even Duke didn't know were he was at all. the Dice Boy stopped in his tracks as the little white dog sat down on the ground, dropping the dice on the floor as it wagged it's tail and looking at a door. Duke blinked in confusion as he picked up the now wet dice and stared at the door. All was silent until Duke squealed with joy at the house they were infront of. "OH YEAH! SWEET SERENITY'S HOUSE!" he smiled as the dog wagged it's tail, too dumb to realise the human was happy about. Duke leapt into the air and then landed again, kneeling down at the dogs level "Thanks my freind, you have taken me to the best place possible" he smiled as he ruffled the fur on the dog's face. Duke stood infront of the door until, he felt something warm on his leg. "WAh!" he blinked as noticed the dog peeing up his leg. "HOW DARE YOU, YOU LITTLE THING!" he screamed as he kicked the dog sending it flying without intending to do so. "Opps" he smirked as he pushed open the door and walked into the Wheeler household for duke always carried a spare key, which Serenity had given him. "Oh yeah Dice Boy..YOU RULE!" he smiled as he threw himself onto the sofa in the house. "Now I just have to wait for my pride and joy to show up." and so he waited.

"Man I'm so bored.." Duke sighed as he got up and headed for the door. "Looks like my true love isn't here at all...guess I'll leave..." he put his foot out in the hallway but then heard a noise come from the bathroom. The Dice boy raised his eyebrow wondering what was going on but then stopped outside the door and sat on the floor. "Man I'm tired maybe I should just sit here and see if anything happens..hmm sounds like Tristan...HEY WHAT'S HE DOING HERE?" he stood up angry but then got his dice earing caught in crack by the door. "Oh why do these things always happen to me?" he moaned as he stood by the door listening to what was being said whilst trying to get his earing back. "Wonder what the're saying in there? hmm.." and slowly the dice boy began to listen to the conversation, not knowing that his earing was now free...oh how stupid this dice boy is...no wonder Yami beat him at his own game. Poor Duke!

_**Inside the Bathroom with Tristan and Serenity**_

_"Hey Tristan what can I do for you then today?"_

**"Oh Serenity..you don't know how long I have been waiting for you!"**

_"Well what do you want then? The usual?"_

**"Oh please Serenity I need you!"**

_"Fine...enough with the dramatics already!"_

**"So will you do it for me then?"**

_"Sure...you just the usual neat and tidy way then?"_

**"Yep.."**

_"Right you take a seat and then I will sort you out.!"_

**"YAY!"**

Duke blinked but just shrugged it of and thought nothing of it. He stood up but once again got his earing out. "hmm maybe I should take this thing off, but first Ive got to get out of this mess." he sighed as he still tried to get lose finding he was becoming more intrested in the conversation every second.

_"Right so you just want it done quick and fast?"_

**"Yep I just want the usaul that you give me."**

_"We come over here then I will give it to you."_

**"Emmm..thats feels good Serenity."**

_"Hey don't move your head! Your getting me wet!"_

**"Opps sorry...but I think your getting me too wet!"**

_"Sorry Tristan. I don't mean to."_

**"No biggy."**

_"Right. Well I think it's wet enough. Would you step over here please."_

**"Now what?"**

_"hmm..Tristan why did you let it grow so long!"_

**"I didn't mean too...should I get it trimmed then?"**

_"Why did you come here for then? So I can play with it?"_

**"No...but if that's what you want.."**

_"No thanks..it's too hard to play with."_

**"Well sort me out then."**

_"Hold still and then I will!"_

**"Sheesh you women are all the same...I'ts always about the length."**

_"I'll give you women!"_

**"ow..ahh..oh..Serenity...why must you tease?"**

_"DO YOU WANT ME TO HACK IT ALL OFF THEN!"_

**"NO! Can you just give it a little trim..please..pretty please."**

_"How much do you want off?"_

**"Just maybe an inch...I like it big and brassy."**

_"I still think it should all go off..."_

**"DON'T YOU DARE!"**

_"You can't tell me what to do Taylor...I'M THE DOMINAT ONE HERE!"_

**"No please don't!"**

_"SAY GOODBYE TRISTAN TO YOUR LONG LENGTH OF ..."_

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN HERE!"

Both Tristan and Serenity looked into the hallway and noticed Duke standing infront of them gripping into his dice tightly. He wore a look of frustration, anger, shock and most of all embarassment. "I don't believe it I come here out of the kindness of my heart and then I find my friend and rival becoming good friends. See theres Tristan over there...looking a bit afraid and Serenity...er..wait what are those?" Duke blinked as he pointed at Serenity's hands. _"These are scissors. Tristan came over to get his hair cut but as you can tell by looking at it that it's too long wouldn't you say?" _the feamle Wheeler smiled as she noted Duke's numerous amounts of blinking. "Er okay maybe I should go..and..." Duke quickly stormed into the room and grabbed Tristan shirt collar. "I'm taking my friend with me..for saftey reasons." Duke smirked as he pulled the brown haired boy out of the house. **"See you then Serenity!" **Tristan shouted at Sereniy. Duke stopped in mid-walk and then turned back to face Tristan and Serenity and smiled before opening his mouth to speak.

"Remember this you two...I'm always...ALWAYS THE DOMINANT ONE AND NOT YOU TWO!"

**(End of Chapter)**

Well once again another chapter has come to a close and the next chapter will be put up on a special day for a special someone I know, but as that guessing game was fun I thought might as well do it again but this time you decide what the pairing and event will happen in **Chapter 16**. Not chapter 15 sadly for that is for someone else I'm afraid. So here is the song you have to guess this time...GOOD LUCK oh yeah it's all english by the way!

**You think I've got it all?****  
Everyone thinks I've got it made****  
Well, how come my only friends****  
Are the ones I pay?**

**No one understands ****  
What I would do to change my life****  
For just one day!**

**Don't say if I were you****  
Or tell me what to do****  
How things would be****  
If you were in my shoes****  
'Cause you're not me!**

**You know what I need****  
And it's not another serenade****  
I get so tired of all the things you say!****  
Gimme what I want, you own the world****  
I'd glady throw the sun away!**

**Don't say if I were you****  
Or tell me what you do****  
How things would be****  
If you were in my shoes****  
'Cause you're not me!**

**Please take me as I am!****  
This isn't what I planned!****  
I guess I don't expect that ****  
You could understand****  
'Cause you're not me!**

**I know you think you're being nice****  
But spare me all your lame advice****  
Talk to my hand and roll the dice****  
Everybody's got their price**

**For too long, I've been denied****  
I'll make up my moves****  
So just step aside****  
No one can say I never tried****  
To do anything to get back my pride!**

**Yeah, you will never be...!****  
Why can't you see****  
That you're not me!**

**Don't say if I were you****  
Or tell me what you do****  
How things would be****  
If you were in my shoes****  
'Cause you're not me!**

**Please take me as I am!****  
This isn't what I planned!****  
I guess I don't expect that ****  
You could understand****  
'Cause you're not me!**

Well that's longer then the Prétear theme tune but do you think I need to give any clues about this song..well I guess i'll have to.

1) It's from an anime that got turned into a film last year, but in the film they edited it so it was shorter, only the first 3 paragraphs were used.

2) YOUR READING A STORY ABOUT THE ANIME WHICH THE FILM WAS ABOUT!.

Well let's hope you get it right and also that you've seen the film..I HOPE SO! See you all next chapter and good luck! Oh as an added prize...I have a stock of plushie hikari bunnies and if you ask I will give you one of your choice! C ya!


	15. Seto and Yugi

**A series of unfortunate 'sexual' events**

**Yugi:** Hey everybody and here is the 15th chapter of my story, by now I think your all starting to learn that eavesdropping is not a good idea! I HOPE SO! I haven't, trustme ...I still hear things that sound wrong every day yet I still eavesdrop...only because it's fun and I have nothing better to do. Just think if I didn't eavesdrop this whole story would never of happened so it's kinda weird really...okay now I have officialy lost it.

**Kaiba: **You lost it years ago..now just get on with it.

**Yugi: **Go away Rich Boy! Go Blow smoke somewhere else!

**Kaiba: **Why you little!

**Yugi: **Right that has done it! NO ONE CALLS ME LITTLE!

**Yami: **#sweatdrops# whilst the CEO and authoress sort out their mental problems I guess I will have to say the thank you's. #Seto's trenchcoat flies behind him# So thanks to:

**Seto's Princess, **_Atemu's Lover, _**Dark Artemis, **_LonelyTombRobber, _**Lover to Malik, **_LadyPhoenix99, _**jonouchi-kaiba-mokie, **_Shorea Tashinnaku, _**Hawk- EVB, **_ScrewedForLife, _**SWD, **_Bishounen Lover, _**Hakiri-Nefertiri, **_Lia Xaragi, _**A reader...dum dum dum dum, **_PeaceSeeker, _**Yugi's Light Keeps Me Pure, **_oreosarecool, _**svakee2000, **_S.Chensu and Luff. _

**Yugi: **#Has Kaiba in a headlock# Yep thanks to all of you oh and if some of you have reviewed this story for the first time, hey no biggy! Glad you have now reveiwed so thanks. So as you could tell I left a song for you guys to guess and straight away most of you already knew what the song was without looking at the clues and of course you guys wold know, IT'S A BRILLANT SONG! So what was it Kaiba Boy hmm? What was the song?

**Kaiba: 'You're not me!'** by any chance.

**Yugi: **That's right and I think everyone got that right but it was **Seto's Princess **who got it right first and so she selects what the next chapter is about. So what will it be? #tightens the headlock# I didn't update this chapter for no reason though, no, I did this for my friends birthday today and so I'm going to let her take over whilst I deal with 'Kaiba Boy' . Over to you Luff!

**Luff: **Hello, Luff here! Well the authoress, better known as Pugi has kindly let me write the author's note for this chapter!

And do any of you know why this is? #tumbleweed roles on by# Oh, apparently not…

Well, she has let me write this note because it's my birthday today! #cheers I hope#

Although I know this is probably not the reason you are reading this note…you're probably just thinking 'Get on with it woman, we want to read the chapter', so…here is the next chapter of 'A series of Unfortunate 'Sexual' Events'! I would also like you to know that the idea for this chapter was mine which I gave to Pugi years ago…but she decided to write it on my birthday. How nice! Well, enjoy (again)!

**Yugi: **Thanks Luff my friend and as a birthday treat you can have this. #passes her Piers wrapped in a pretty red bow# there you go. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY FRIEND! Oh just so you don't get confused guys...to my friends (e.g. Chen, Lia and of course Luff) I am called Pugi, it's kinda of a nickname that's grown on me and so in the gang I'm called Pugi. Well there you go and I hope you enjoy the chapter!

Enjoy!

**Key**

Speech: Tristan (Hiroto Honda) Speaking

**Speech: **Kaiba Speaking (Seto Kaiba)

_Speech: _Yugi Speaking

**Chapter Fifteen: **_Seto and Yugi _(OH I HATE THIS PAIRING AS MUCH AS YAMI/SETO!)

Wings flapped towards the blazing sun as the domino park was filled with children and parents enjoying their summer holiday. Swings had kids playfully swinging on them whilst others enjoyed throwing sand from the sandpit at each other, causing some children to run to their parents crying their eyes out. (a.n: don't you just hate that when kids do that!) Girls layed out across the grass, trying their best to get attention whilst the guys in the park played football. The benches were barely empty as students and adults sat upon the blue painted seats. One student in particulaur sat upon the seats rustling through his newspaper, stress clearly on his face as he tried his best to find what he was looking for. His name you ask...? Tristan Taylor.

Tristan frowned again as he continued to look throughout the newspaper. "Why can't I find a job?" he moaned as his brown eyes scanned the page. "Why is it everyone has a job except me!" he sighed as he tapped at the single brown spike which was his hair. Tristan stood up and folded up the paper as he began to walk towards the park exit. "It's not fair, Yami and Yugi work at their game shop, Joey in a pet shop, Téa in that Burger World..oh and Kaiba is a CEO for God's Sake! Eveyone has jobs apart from me!" he screamed as he threw the paper into the nearby bin, walking of into the more urban areas of Domino.

He walked down many streets until for some strange reason he ended up outside the Kame Game Shop. "How come you always end up outside your friends house when you don't look were your going?" he sighed as he entered the shop, only to be greeted by the ancient Pharaoh spirt, most commonly known as Yami. The said spirit looked at him and gave a faint wave as he sat at the shops till, bordom clearly written all over his face. "Hey Tristan!" the Pharaoh sighed as he was building a tower of cards upon the till, no signs of his hikari anywere. "Hey Pharaoh! Is Yugi here?" he asked as he looked around the shop. Yami never looked at the other teen as all his concentration was put into his ever growing tower of cards. "No he went out somewere. After coming out of the hospital today he decided to go for a walk, he only had cuts and brusies and so he was allowed to come home." Yami said as his crimson eyes narrowed like they were seeing through the cards. Tristan folded his arms and then sighed "Hey yami do you think Kaiba would give me a job?" he asked, but not expecting the reaction he got. "WHAT!" the Pharaoh shouted as he stood up and slammed his hands on the desk, causing his tower of cards to fall down. "TRISTAN HAVE YOU LOST IT! WHY WOULD THAT ARROGANT JERK GIVE ANYONE A JOB! HE'S NOT THAT NICE!". Tristan blinked at the clearly pissed off Yami as he started to slowly back towards the entrance of the shop. Yami sighed and then sat back down as he slowly began to re-build his tower of cards. "I know your going to go and se him anyway, so good luck okay." Yami smiled as Tristan waved back to him whilst walking towards Kaiba Corp as the Yami laughed to himself. "Let's hope Kaiba Boy is in a good mood today!"

Tristan stood outside Kaiba Corp, his fist clenched tightly as Tristan became slightly nervous over the whole asking Kaiba for a job idea, to be honest Yami didn't really give him a boost in confidence. Slowly he entered the building and then headed straight to the lift. Tristan sighed as he noticed the decorations "Man, he's obsessed with those dragons." as the lift started to play music. The tune shwing how much ego the Rich CEO had. Soon the brunette began to whistle to the life music for he had to admit it was a good tune._**  
Don't say if I were you**_  
The lift still was going on it's journey towards the 43 floor as the song continued._**  
Or tell me what to do**_  
Sweat began to drip down Tristans forehead for now he was began to get nervous for the CEO wasn't known to be in a happy mood. Especally with Yugi and the gang._**  
How things would be**_  
The lift bell chimed as the numbers 33...34 began to flash red along the side of the lift. He was almost there._**  
If you were in my shoes**_  
The lift slowly started to stop as he knew he was almost there the numbers getting closer to 43 ever second that passed...39...40...41..42_**  
'Cause you're not me!**_  
43. The doors opened as the song seemed to draw to a close. tristan gulped as he saw the grand Blue Eyes statues ahead noting that Kaiba defently had an obsession with those powerful dragons. Tristan then began to walk towards the door, he placed his hand against the door and was about to push it opne until he heard the voice of a very familiar hikari. "Hey what's Yugi doing with the Righ Snob?" Tristan questioned as he stood there trying to listen "Oh wel no harm in trying to listen to what the're saying is there?" he said to himself as he began to listen.

oh dear, oh dear, oh dear looks like even Tristan can not avoid the trap of eavesdropping so he has become victim number 15! Stupid Boy!

**_With Seto and Yugi _**(did I mention I HATE this pairing..it's wrong! #vomits#)

_"So would you be able to do this simple task for me?"_

**"Depends what you are offering for my service?"**

_"I'll give you anything you ask Kaiba, anything..even this..."_

**"Hmm..well if you put it that way. I'll do it!"**

_"I knew you would do anything for me Kaiba...I'm just too cute to resist!"_

**"Cute's not the way to describe you..I know other words to describe you Yugi."**

_"Really? Like Midget, Runt or Shorty?"_

**"No I'm thinking of other things right now.."**

_"Oh enlighten me.."_

**"Maybe later. First I have to do this job for you don't I..?"**

_"Oh yeah I nearly forgot..I've been dying for you to do this for months now!"_

**"Really! You want it that badly!"**

_"Yes Kaiba that badly!"_

**"Well I'll give it too you then Yugi! I'll give it to you good!"**

Tristan blinked outside the door and then tried not to laugh. "Ha guess Yugi's trying to get a job from Kaiba as well then. HEY WAIT HE MIGHT GET INSTEAD OF ME! NO! better listen and make sure he doesn't get it then.." and so he continued to listen.

_"Hurry up would you!"_

**"Boy for someone who was so eager for me to do this they aren't very patient are they?"**

_"The faster the better I say! So just do it Kaiba otherwise this Muto's going to get very moody if he don't get what he wants!"_

**"Whoa your either very possessive or dominant! I like that side of you Muto!"**

_"Shut up and do this for me Kaiba!"_

**"Wait it's so close now. Ahh there you go all done!"**

_"YES! Now get it out quick..Yami wil be wondering were I am."_

**"Er we have a problem..."**

_"What?"_

**"It's kinda stuck..."**

_"WHAT! your joking right?"_

**"I never joke. Sorry Yugi it's stuck in good and tight."**

_"No this can't be..I've waited for this for months and the day I finally ask for it, the guy screws it up for me!"_

**"Don't blame me for this! Maybe it's so small that I can't get it out!"**

_"Oh now your saying it's too small! Well I'm sorry if we're not as big and impressive as the CEO!"_

**"Your the one who wanted me to this job for you!"**

_"Can't you just like pull it?"_

**"Hey I'm not damaging my goods!"**

_"You don't have anything good! Just get it out for me!"_

**"Hey maybe if I press this then it will slip out?"**

_"Please Kaiba! Get it out!"_

"What's stuck?"

Both boys faced Tristan as he gave them a weak smile as they both gave him a glare. "Oh did I interrupt something? Fine i'll just get going?" Tristan gave them a wave as he began to walk back out. _"NO! Don't" _Yugi screamed as he ran to his friend grabbing his arm. _"I came to see if Kaiba could download this music onto a disk for me but he got it stuck in his laptop. IT WON'T COME OUT!" _Yugi whimpered. Tristan gave a smirk and then snorted whilst Kaiba glared even more at him. **"It's not funny...I can't get it out!" **the CEO snarled as Tristan came closer to him. "It's easy Rich Boy...you just press this button and then it will pop out!" Tristan said as he did that, the Floppy Disk coming out like he said it would. "There you go!" he smiled as Yugi lept for joy and grabbed his floppy. _"YAY thanks Tristan!" _he smiled as Tristan ruffled his hair. The CEO quirked an eyebrow as he looked at the two boys** "What are you doing here anyway?" **he asked. "I was wondering if I could have a job?" he pleaded as the CEO smirked. **"Yeah sure you can have a job!"** he smiled. "Really Kaiba?" Tristan laughed as he thought about how the Pharaoh would react. **"No...I would rather have a dog anyday under me then you." **Kaiba snorted as Tristan glared at him. _"He already has a dog underneath him pratically everynight." _Yugi blinked as the CEO stared at him. **"That's it you two...GET OUT!"** Kaiba shouted as the two giggling boys left the office, not before Tristan stuck his head back into the room.

"Oh yeah Kaiba. Like your screensaver by the way!"

Kaiba blinekd and then looked towards the computer noticing his screensaver was on...the screensaver of Joey that is...HEHEHE!

**"Oh Shit!"**

**(End of Chapter)**

That's number 15 done and dusted and I hope my friend Luff liked her birthday treat!

Well as you know last chapter I did guess the song and it was **Seto's Princess** who got it right but they have not said a pairing they would like yet. Please tell me what you would like? It's for the next chapter!

That's all really for next chapter I might do guess the song if you like me to do so but as a little prize for everyone here's a gift.

#Hands out plushes of the Hikaris as rabbits# There you go hope you enjoyed it and review please..Thanks guys and see you soon for the next chapter of A series of unfortunate 'sexual' events. Thanks!

Yugi


	16. Seto and Téa

**A series of unfortuante 'sexual' events**

**Yugi: **Hello again people and now if I count my fingers correctly and I just have, this should be chapter 16! Yep you heard it folks and guess what it is great sadness to here this story will be ending soon...#hangs her head low#

#gasps are heard throughout the room#

**Yugi: **#still has her head hung low, moving slightly# I know it's a shame isn't it...I'm really sorry about this though...#laughs# IM FAR FROM OVER FANS! I HAVE PLENTY MORE CHAPTERS BEFORE THIS STORY ENDS AND SO DON'T WORRY ABOUT THIS STORY COMING TO A CLOSE JUST YET! HAHA sorry for fooling you..

#gets books and other items hurled at her#

Eep..okay I'm sorry I won't ever do that again..well here's the authors thank you's before I get killed...

**xXXkIkOkEnxXx: **By the looks of the XD you enjoyed the chapter. I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the last one.

**LadyPhoenix99: **The whole Joey screensaver thing came from personal experience...hehehe, for at my school I had saved all these Yugi/Yami images into My Pictures and then set it as my screensaver; that is when the school decidied to make sure we can't change our screensaver and so everytime Yugi and Yami pop up on my screen. Not a good thing if people think it's a very sad and lame show. If you have a pairing you can tell me them, I like to try and see if I can give everyone the pairings they like and so you can tell me your idea. I'm glad you like the plushie but I have the originals right here #feeds the Hikari Bunnies some carrots# see what I mean. Oh well thanks again.

**Kiko cat: **It isn't that sick...is it? Oh well if you say it's making you sick minded just think about what goes on in this authoresses head..hehe...Yugi/Yami #drools#..Sorry but thank you for the review and I'm glad you like the story.

**Bishounen Lover: **Hey don't fret pet (soz it's my saying) their will be some female/female pairings soon.. Oh well and also Ishizu will be in this chapter so don't worry. Thanks for the review.

**Seto's Princess: ** I just knew by your username that you were going to pick a pairing involving Seto. I still hate that CEO all the same and personally I wish he was dead and that also they would stop pairing him with Yugi and Yami! IT'S WRONG! I have said that enough times as you can tell. My mum someties watches the anime if shes downstairs a the same time and when ever she sees Kaiba you have to try and hold her back for she tries to beat up the TV screen...I think you can guess she doesn't like him. So yes this chapter was your choice and so it's dedicated to you. Hope you enjoy it!

**Atemu's Lover: **It won't be a songfic trust me, if you were talking about the song in the lift..well I had that song playing in the background whilst I was typing that scene, I LOVE THAT SOUNDTRACK! er sorry I got carried away again. I'm glad you liked the chapter and I have updated ASAP like you asked. Thanks!

**Yugi's Light Keeps Me Pure: **I just love torturing Kaiba, It's so much fun to do! I'm glad you couldn't guess what they were doing for it makes it more intrestign to read...I hope. I'm glad you liked the chapter and I hope you like this one too!

**Shorea Tashinnaku: **Yep everyone loves the Plushies, who wouldnt they are so cute! Yep I hate that pairing as much as er...Yami/Seto. I just think Seto is too coldhearted to love and he shouldn't even go with them to for well..the same excuse as always..IT'S WRONG! hehehe #grabs hold of Yugi and Yami and hugs them tight# See they are mine now! I will keep up the good work and thanks for the review!

**ScrewedForLife: **Aww Yugi and Yami...YUM YUM! Well I actually prefer Seto/Joey more then Mai/Joey personally. Don't know why, but I just do. Was there a lot of Yami/Yugi..oh well they will be back soon trust me..hehehe.Thanks again!

**S.Chensu and Luff: **I know I didn't mention 'floppies' but then it would of given the whole thing away so I thought it was best not to mention that word during it. I'm sorry! Well at least the spelling is better then usual and yeah it was bad about no camera...you could of taken a piccy of Joey (You know who I mean) when he was trying to dress up as a girl or Narf saying Aladdin, Ra that wa so funny. Well thanks for the review my friend and have a good half term!

**haruko sohma: **Yeah the song 'Your Not Me' was sung by Marty Bag's and it's such a good song too! Hey wait I'm going to put it on right now...there. No I haven't seen the spanish version of the film but when we saw it in the cinema for the second time with my friends Luff and Lia, me and Mai sung it out loud and I think our singing was out of tune with the song and yet it was the English Version. I'm glad you found the chapter good and thanks for the review.

**Lia Xaragi: **Hey pal, long time no see! Yeah I agree that the last chapter was better then the one before, but that's probably because I'm more used to typing yaoi so it makes it a bit more easier to make it sound wrong, plus males have a organs that can easily be mispoken or heard and become wrong. Hehehehe! Yes I liked the Joey screensaver too..Itwas just one of those ideas that popped out of the blue and I thought, hahaha class! and so I added it in...plus I wanted to torture the CEO. Trust me though pal, if you think this is getting better...you should read the last chapter (Yes I have written it already) for hopefully that will make everyone laugh! Well thanks again pal from the Jester.

**SWD: **Yep Seto had problem with technology for he always thinks his so perfect with computers and so I decided to make him seem a bit stupid round them for a change, see some things in this story are a bit OOC for example one chapter Yugi gave Yami a good old punch in the jaw, very Un-Yugi like wouldn't you say? I agree I don't like floppy disk's either..the name is so false..they aren't floppy enough! I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter though and thanks again!

**Hawk-EVB: **WOW! I like your friend! She kinda like me! but I don't need sugar to make me high..it's just natural in me. Oh yeah I have read your story (Was it the one were it had Téa and Tristan owning Joey and Mai who have 99 kids and they all talk about friendship. Liked it!) and I will review at somepoint. Wow quite a few people have been making their friends read this and I find it funny when they don't know that I ask my friends to read it in school, but speaking of school. I DON'T HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL ANYMORE! I LEFT SCHOOL 2 WEEKS AGO! HAHAHAHA AND I DON'T HAVE TO GO BACK UNTIL AFTER SEPTEMBER! Sorry I'm happy about that, but I do have exams to do so it's kinda bad as well. Well I'm glad you and your friend liked the story and chapter. Thanks!

**A reader ...dum dum dum dum: **Will there by homosexual pairings...hmm...I wonder, Maybe you should play it and find out! Great I'm reciting quotes again! And it happens to be a Bakura quote! Yep eavesdropping causes all this and how do you think the whole story came to be then?...it was becuase of me eavesdropping and getting the wrong end of the stick! Not my fault...well actually it is! Heh. I will continue to write and here is the next chapter. Enjoy and thanks again!

**PeaceSeeker: **Hey pal nice to hear from you! Pease don't like Yugi/Seto i really do need that bucket now...I can't endure this! HONEST! Wow my chapters have got more descriptive, that's good to hear, thanks for saying that. Well most people might be wondering why Seto had a screensaver of Joey but that is all revealed later..hehehe.thanks for the review pal.

**Yugi: **Wow all done, and I'm sorry if this chapter is a bit late but I had good reasons, one being that I had exams to do but they are now over thank Ra and also another one with is...

**Mai:** This #pulls out a game from her GameBoy#

**Yugi:** SISTER! GIVE ME BACK MY GAME!

**Mai: **Hmm..Pokémon LeafGreen...lets have a look at your team then..

**Yugi: **NO! I want my game back, I'm sorry folks but that's the other reason why this chapter is later then planned..My Team Rocks!

**Mai: **Oh my God! Talk about Yu-Gi-Oh! Obsession! Yami the Suicune and Yugi the Articuno!

**Yugi: **Yeah..and don't forget about Pharaoh the Charizard, Aibou the Magenium, Hikari the Raichu and Atemu the Blaziken.

**Mai: **You need to see someone about that obsession of yours!

**Yugi: **YEAH! and you need to get out of my story so I can put the next chapter up! Oh well here's the next chapter peeps. This chapter and pairing was decided by **Seto's Princess**...Enjoy!

**Key**

Speech: Odion Speaking

**Speech: **Kaiba Speaking

_Speech: _Téa Speaking

Speech: Ishizu Speaking

**Chapter Sixteen:**_ Seto and Téa_

Echoes filled the corridors of Domino Museum as the busy Saturday welcomed many many vistors to the populaur site of Domino. Ancient exhibits were all around as old artifacts such as roman helmets, greek pots but the most populaur section was the Ancient Egyptian one.

Ishizu was walking around the Egyptain area with her most recent tour group as they took pictures and recorded what they saw along the way. Some enjoyed seeing the mummies whilst others wanted to see some of the tools they used, the thing most children wanted to see though was a certain stone tablet that was further into the exhibit.

"Over here we have the sarcophagus of the Egyptian Lord of The Dead, Anubis. His body did go missing for sometime but we managed to retrieve it and put it back in it's rightful place. The artifact infront of Anubis is the Dagger of Fate, there also was a Pyramid of Light but due to reasons the pyramid was destroyed."

As Ishizu continued to explain more about the Ancient past, tourists took pictures of the Lord of The Dead whilst others nodded in acknowledgement. Ishizu then began to walk again telling everyone one thing for them not to do "Please do not touch any of the exhibits for they are extremly delicate and fragile." she ordered as they went deeper into the Egyptain past.

"Finally we have reached the area were I think most of you have been waiting to come to." Ishizu explained as they stopped infront of a stone tablet. "As you can tell this is the Tablet of the..."

CRASH

Ishizu stopped her explanation as she turned towards a display of old egyptian pots, in actual fact they were canopic jars.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU CHILDREN ARE PLAYING AT! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THOSE ARE AND HOW RARE THEY ARE! THE'RE THE ONLY CANOPIC JARS THAT COME FROM THE PERIOD WHEN PHARAOH AMENHOTEP II WAS KING OF ALL OF EGYPT! THEY ARE WORTH MILLIONS YOU LITTLE BRATS!" Ishizu fumed as 3 children the age of 12 hid behind their parents, not wanting to face anymore of Ishizu's wrath. The parents on the other hand just pretended that they weren't their kids, afterall it would cost a lot of moeny in damages for them to pay.

Ishizu saghed as she once again started to talk about the ever so famous tablet of the Pharaoh. It was just another busy day in the Domino Museum for Ishizu.

In the central area of Domino the clock struck 7:30 as shops shut for the end of the day, the Domino Museum was no different. Ishizu sighed happily as the last tour group left the site as Odion stood at her side.

"Well that's another day done. Odion would you get the next pair of fake Canopic Jars from the Amenhotep II period, another group broke them again. Luckily we have the real ones back in the Museum's safe otherwise parents would have to pay millions."

Odion stood and nodded in agreement remembering the first time those jars got broken, thanks to Marik of course. Both figures made their way back into the Museum glad the day was over.

Ishizu stood in the room with the famous Tablet of the Pharaoh and laughed to herself at how this tablet brought a whole load of chaos and fuss amongst a bunch of average teens. "It's quite amazing really, How the fate of the World was left in the hands of a bunch of kids." she smiled as she sat down on a bench nearby. Placing her hands on a furmiliar tench coat. "Hmm who left their coat here?" Ishizu asked herself as she looked at it. The coat itself was a unique design, it's material a white colour that could be resembeled to Kaiba's favourite dragon and that's when it hit the female Ishtar.

"OH NO! I WAS MEANT TO BE HAVING A MEETING WITH KAIBA A COUPLE OF MINUTES AGO! ODION COME HERE QUICK!"

Odion entered the room without a sound as he stood in front of her. "What is it you ask Miss Ishizu" he asked in his almost royal voice. Ishizu held out the coat and pointed to a screen which showed areas in the museum. "Odion, Kaiba has left his coat behind and I would like he to give it back to him. Tell him I shall meet him tomorrow in the usual place." Odion nodded and looked at the screen. "He's in the car park. I'll give it to him."

Odion entered the Museum's car park and looked frantically for the older Kaiba. He looked but had not so far seen sight of him and slowly began to walk back into the building...until he heard a voice that was very familiar, Seto Kaiba's. He spotted him and was about to walk up to him until he heard another voice.

_"Kaiba!"_

The tan male sighed and stayed hidden in the shadows, deciding to listen to the conversation instead before he gave the coat back; for u never knew the conversation might be intresting afterall. Odion was not being Mind Controled by Marik yet he has decided to become victim number sixteen. hehehehe

_**Inside the Domino Museum Car Park with Kaiba and Téa**_

_"Kaiba! Hey Kaiba over here!"_

**"Oh great, what are you doing here?"**

_"I came here to see you Kaiba, I need a word with you."_

**"Didn't you listen to what I said before? I told you to stay out of my sight!"**

_"I did and I'm not on your site am I! Last time I was in the Kaiba Corp builiding but this time we are in the Museum Car Park so I'm not in your site! See how that works?"_

**"Hmph, whatever. You think your so smart."**

_"Well I am. Anyway are you coming then?"_

**"I'm not coming with you!"**

_"You said you would, I have something to show you."_

**"Fine, but just leave me after I've seen it ok?"**

_"Okay."_

Odion got up and followed the pair deeper into the car park, the coat still in his hands. He still watched them both in silence.

_"Here it is Kaiba, my pride and joy! Ta Da!"_

**"What In the world is that piece of crap? It's tiny! and worst of all...IT'S PINK!"**

_"Hmpf, everything to you is too small, you always think everythig of yours is so big and impressive! but Kaiba you have one more thing to do?"_

**"What's that?"**

_"GET IN AND RIDE!"_

**"WHAT? You want me to get into that thing, you are kiding me? How do I know it hasn't got any dieases or anything catchable?"**

_"Becasue other guys have been in there and they aren't on their deathbeds so it's ok."_

**"Fine I'll just have give you one ride ok, but I'm wearing protection before I get in that!"**

_"JUST GET IN THERE KAIBA! I'M READY FOR FUCK SAKE!"_

**"Whao...you sure your not having women's problems, I guy should nver do anything with a girl during her period."**

_"Get. In. It. Right. Now!"_

**"Fine, If it will make you so happy..."**

_"YES! HAHAH! I'm In control now big shot and now I'm going to strap you in and deal with you..hehehe"_

**"What have I done?"**

"Er excuse me, Mr Kaiba"

Seto turned around and faced the tanned servent of the Ishtars and for once in his life, wore a look of worry on his face. **"Odion you have got to save me from her! I don't know what she's going to do with me?" **Téa also turned round and smiled her normally friendly smile. _"Hey Odion, I was just going to take Kaiba for a spin in my new car. What do you think? It's baby pink."_ Odion only smiled and coughed away a laugh. "Sorry Miss Gardner but I have only come here to give Mr Kaiba his coat back."and he did so as he passed it through the back window. "I'm sorry for interrupting you and Kaiba but also Miss Ishizu says she will speak to you tomorrow so you are free to leave with this young lady now. Enjoy the ride.!" Téa beebed the car horn in agreement as she began to drive the car out of the space, Odion waving goodbye and also noticing Kaiba trying to get out of the back seat, only Téa had locked the doors as they drove of into the distance. The last thing they heard was..

_"Kaiba. Prepare for the ride of your life!"_

**(End of Chapter) **

Well that's the end of another _late _chapter and this time this spot is going to be advertised for a story that I am enjoying at this current moment and I would like to advertise it...So this advert is for a friend of mine.

**Author : **S. Chensu (is more commonly found as S.Chensu and Luff)

**Genre:** Genral/Angst

**Fiction Rated:** T

**Title:** Devils in the Church

**Summary:** Love flourishes in a place where they know it's forbidden but when they're discovered, what effect will this have upon them all? Can they ever return to nomality?

Please read it and so that's all from me and the next update shall be on the 5th of July. I'm sorry for the lateness of this chapter but it's due to exams that I was preoccupied, but now they are finished I have more time for this story. So I will see you guys soon and I'm now on holiday wahoo!

C ya

Yugi


	17. Yami, Bakura and Malik

**A series of unfortunate 'sexual' events**

**Yugi: **Wow can you believe it people, I'm already on chapter 17 and do you know what else I have to tell you...I have already planned how the sequel to this story is going to go. Yes you heard...I'm doing a sequel to this story! Isn't it good? Probably not but oh well.

Right I'm going to stop going on now for I have asked someone else to write my authors note due to it's a special day for them..so it's over to S.Chensu to do my authors note for you guys. -

**Chen:** Hello everyone… As you can tell, my name is S. Chensu. You may know me from the free advertisement Yugi gave me in the last chapter, although it didn't do much. But nevermind! This chapter is for me, because it's my birthday today! And I'm 18! So many things I can do now… #evil laughing# But anyway, as I said, this chapter was a request by me and is a little bit different because…it's not a couple.

**Audience:** #Gasps#

**Chen:** It's a threesome.

**Audience:** #Mutters#

**Chen:** I know it's against the usual regulations but I felt like it and I knew that making Pugi write this would cause her great unease for it is possibly the worst threesome ever (in her opinion).

**Audience:** #Holler# Who is it then?

**Chen:** #Drum roll# Today's people are… The three yamis!

**Audience:** WHAT!

**Chen:** Is no one even slightly happy about it…? Come on, the three yamis are funny because they'd spend their whole time killing each other! But anyway, I'd better let Pugi get on with thanking people.

**Yugi: **Yeah, thanks to **_S.Chensu and Luff, LadyPhoenix99, SerenityMeowth, ScrewedForLife, Atemu's Lover, Yugi's Light Keeps Me Pure, mariko, Bishounen Lover, Shorea Tashinnaku, Seto's Princess, Dark Artemis, Kiko cat, A reader dum dum dum dum._**

**Chen:** So it's bye bye from me and if you ever want a story to read, there's some on our profile page! The only thing I have left to say is thank you very much to Yugi for writing this for me! I hope you will enjoy it as much as I will! MOOHAHA!

#Evil laughing fades away#

**Key**

Speech: Yugi Speaking

_Speech: _Ryou Speaking

Speech: Marik Speaking (hikari)

**Speech: **Yami Speaking

**_Speech: _**Bakura Speaking

**Speech:** Malik Speaking (yami)

_SPEECH: _Tv reporter Speaking

**Chapter Seventeen: **_Yami, Bakura and Malik (Yugi: YUCK! give me a bucket!)_

It was once again a lovely Saturday in Domino as most people spent their time inside, trying to get the latest news into their heads. Many looked within books and newspapers whilst others listened to the radio, but the most common way they got news was via the TV.

Silence was heard throughout the Kame Game Shop as Grandpa Muto swept up outside the shop, his grandson being upstairs and doing what a usual kid does on a saturday morning, watch tv. Grandpa sighed as he felt his back muscles become sore for the 5th time that morning and wished that just sometimes Yugi would help for once in his life. He still continued to sweep up anyway.

Grandpa smiled as he put the last pile of leaves into the bin as he heard footsteps came up to the shop as the elderly Muto reconised the voices of the two figures approaching. One had a rich and gentle British accent whilst the other you might think he needed to wash his mouth out with a soap a bit with some of the thinks coming out of his mouth, yet these were Yugi's friends..Ryou and Marik.

Ryou arrives first with his usual smile and Marik just stood next to him, flicking a lock of sandy hair out of his eyes. _"Hello Mr Muto, is Yugi here?"_ Ryou asked as the elderly man just pointed to the lounge window not saying a word. The two boys just nodded and went upstairs to speak to the shorter, younger and cuter Muto.

Ryou and Marik stood in the lounge doorway as they heard laughter coming from the sofa infront of the tv, on the screen, a shot of Kaiba on a stretcher being carried into an ambulance. "What in the world happned to the Rich Snob?" Marik asked as he and Ryou walked towards the sofa and sat next to the short duelist. "Hi guys!" Yugi greeted in his usual happy, hyper voice. Ryou smiled at him as he gazed at the televsion as the reporter began to speak.

_"TODAY'S TOP STORY! CEO SETO KAIBA HAS BEEN TAKEN TO HOSPITAL AFTER BEING FOUND IN A CAR THAT HAD BEEN DRIVEN INTO A DITCH AND HE IS SUFFERING INJURIES AND ALSO SLIGHT MENTAL PROBLEMS. AN EYEWITNESS CLAIMED THAT THE BABY PINK CAR WAS DIVEN BY WHAT APPEARS TO BE A FEMALE SINGING ALONG TO THE SCISSOR SISTERS..."_

The three boys blinked in unison as the silence was broken by the tan egyptian.

"Pink!"

_"Female!"_

"Scissor Sisters!"

All three boys shuddered at those thoughts and turned back to the t.v for more information in Seto's Crash.

_"POLICE HAVE TREATED THIS INCIDENT AS A CASE OF BAD DRIVING AND WILL NOT PRESS CHARGES AGAINST THE DRIVER. NOW...THE LOTTERY NUMBERS!"_

Ryou sweatdropped as Yugi got up and turned the TV off and was trying to surpress a giggle. Marik on the other hand just snorted and waved his hand about, "Hmpf, Good Ridens! stupid Rich Brat! That's why you never get in a car with a female.". Ryou nodded his head in agreement, _"Especally if the car is pink, what bad taste they have!"_. Yugi sighed and flopped back onto the sofa, placing his legs over Ryou and Marik's laps. "Don't complain guys, Seto's in hospital..why should we care!" Yugi smirked. Ryou and Marik blinked at the tri-coloured haired youth in shock, _"That's a bit cold for you to say isn't it Yugi?"_ Ryou questioned as Marik only gave a thumbs up. "Go Yugi! Looks like Yami's badass atittude is growing on you." Yugi only rolled his eyes and walked towards the window. _"Er Yugi have you seen our Yami's?" _questioned Ryou as Yugi faced him nodding as he glanced at Marik, who was currently helping himself to Yugi's sweet supply. "Yes Ryou, the're here and Marik..Get Off My Sweets!" pouted the short boy. Marik dropped the sweets on the floor and stood up next to Ryou. "So were is my Yami?" asked Marik as Ryou spoke afterwards, _"Yeah..I haven't seen or heard Bakura since I've been here?". _Yugi smiled at the other two and walked towards the hallway, "The're both with Yami in the kitchen.". Time stopped as the other two hikari's faces paled a deathly white colour as the rushed up to Yugi and grabbed hold of him. _"Yugi you're kidding right! Bakura, Malik and Yami in the same room..all alone...without any of us in there."_ Ryou panicked as Yugi nodded. "It's ok Ryou, they only asked if they could speak with him that's all."

"That's what they always say!"

Both turned to face the tanned lad, as his brows knotted together in frustration. "Yugi don't you remember when all the Yami's came round my house? It was all quiet and then next came shouting and banging, the next thing we knew..all 3 of them came out flashing off their own 34FF breasts! That is not normal! The're males and then they started out on us next! Even worse I liked Malik with breasts!" Marik fumed as the other two sweatdropped at the thought. _"And don't you forget what happened when they were all in my house, They turned us into rabbits! You even ended up in hospital after all that Yugi, and even worse..I still have cravings for carrots now and then!"_ Ryou moaned as he pulled a carrot from his pocket and nibbled on it, "I see what you mean Ryou.". Yugi sighed as he walked towards the kitchen, the other two following him "But come on the're with my Yami and in my house, what could possibly go wrong?".

Silence

That's all that was heard as the three hikari's waited for any noise of their Yami's to be heard.

"Nothing? I hear nothing..." Marik whispered.

_"How can you hear nothing, the're arguing and killing each other! Right?" _Ryou asked with a hint of worry.

"No, it's defently silent." Yugi gulped as they all walked towrds the kitchen. "Ok, now something has to be up...they are never quiet if the're all together!". All three hikari's stood outside the door, sweat trickling down their faces. "Ryou you open the door." Marik asked nervously, Ryou only shaking his head rapidly as a 'NO!'. "Shush you two, I can hear something...". All three of them pinned their ears to the wall as they could hear the voices of their three yami's, Bakura, Yami and Malik. (A.N: I only watch the dubbed episodes so I call the hikari Marik and the yami Malik ok..don't moan at me about it! That's all) _"Maybe it would be better if we just leave them to it." _Ryou asked, trying to tip toe away but getting pulled back by Marik. "No way pal, This is getting intresting." Marik smiled as Yugi nodded in agreement. "Yeah Ryou, come on let's listen." Yugi said, in an almost hypnotised state. _"Okay, let's listen then."_ Ryou layed against the wall, all three hikari's trapped in eavesdropping. See even with 3 people they all still get caught in the craze of eavesdropping like a moth drawn to a flame. Oh well...let the fun commence.

_**In the Kitchen with Yami, Bakura and Malik.**_

(A.N: You might get confused who's speaking due to it's 3 of them this time so here is a recap. Yami **Speech**, Bakura **_Speech_** and Malik **Speech**. Enjoy!)

**"What do you two think your doing here?"**

_**"Hey we've come here to see our precous Yami-Kins!"**_

**"And nothing is more important then our dear Yami-Kins!"**

**"Quite..."**

_**"Ahh once again, he's going to start on how imporatnt and mighty he is!"**_

**"Am Not!"**

**"Actually you are going to, see that's just you Yami, but when you're with us. You will always be second best, well third best!"**

_**"Yeah because I'm the best out of all of us, Malik is second and your below us like usual."**_

**"The only thing you would come first in is on how big your ego is."**

**"And we know something of yours that is big and would come first place as well Pharaoh."**

_**"What does Yami have that's bigger then me?"**_

**"That."**

_**"Oh that, well you do kinda have a point there. Yami certainly does have that big!"**_

**"Immature little kids."**

_**"Yes. So what you doing Yami, old pal, old chum."**_

**"Thinking of ways to kill you two."**

**"Aww don't be so mean, Haven't you heard the saying. 'Make Love not war.'"**

_**"He's heard it plenty of times, especially when we're around!"**_

**"Have you guys heard of the saying, 'Fuck Off!'?"**

**"Ouch."**

_**"Hey calm down big boy, we just wanted to talk and help you."**_

**"Yeah, and pigs can fly. Fine you can stay..just stay out of my way."**

**"Ok, may be a bit hard to do so, especially as your not as small as you think you are."**

**"Just shut up!"**

_**"Sheesh, I swear...he's getting excited having us around."**_

**"No I'm actually frustrated."**

**"He that's good! I am too!"**

_**"Me too, you know what that means?"**_

**"That are terms of frustation are completey different?"**

**"Oh.."**

**"Look let me just do this ok."**

_**"Ok, oh what big breats you have there Yami?Malik have a look at these babies!"**_

**"Whoa, who are they for?"**

**"It's for the hikari's ok. Now shut up. Go fiddle around somewere else."**

_**"How come the hikari's get your breasts? No fair..."**_

**"Oh well, you heard what the Pharaoh said. We get to fiddle around."**

_**"I'm game!"**_

**"Oh great..."**

The three hikari's looked at each other and Marik just stood, his jaw dropped. _"Nothing wrong so far?"_ Ryou whispered, _"Come on let's just go."_. Marik nodded but both were grabbed by Yugi. "No, this is getting good!" Yugi winned as his eyes almost seemed galzed over. "Ok. I swear though Yugi you have lost it.". And so they continued to listen.

**"Hey Yami is this yours?"**

**"Huh what, Hey hands off that!"**

_**"Aww come on Yami, looks pretty happy to see us. see it's red already!"**_

**"No it is not happy to see you! It's normally red."**

**"Really! Hmm..wonder what it feels like?"**

**"Just don't be to rough on it please! Yugi will kill me if anything happens to his precious."**

_**"We won't hurt it, all we're going to do is poke it, stroke it and then taste it."**_

**"Yeah see we're not doing much to the little thing."**

**"Don't taste it! Fine you have your fun and I'll stand here and do this."**

_**"Okay, Malik you grab it and I'll do the rest!"**_

**"OWW...damn that hurt!"**

**"What, what hurt? Oh no Yami-Kins is bleeding!"**

_**"What oh no, it's ok Yami you obviously haven't ever done anything of that sort with a knife before."**_

**"No I haven't and it hurts! I'm going to cry!"**

**"Oh please don't do that Yami, there it's okay. You have me and Bakura to make you all happy again."**

_**"Yeah but we must make sure to never allow you to be with knifes again, it's easy to see that you are not ready for that kind of thing yet."**_

**"Guess your right..."**

**"Oh great, Pharaoh's goig to whine about everything now."**

**"Shut up! Why cant it be like the good ol' days..I was important and like right up there..but now..im down at the bottom again."**

_**"Hey you've always been below me Pharaoh."**_

**"And then Bakura is always below me. That's how life works."**

**"Guess your right.."**

_**"Cheer up! Come on..play with us Yami!"**_

**"Yeah, It's always fun to do!"**

**"Me..play with you guys?"**

**"I think that's what we just said. I'm always playing with Bakura!"**

_**"Yeah it's fun! Trust us on the Pharaoh. Come we were ging to fiddle with that red thing there."**_

**"Ok."**

**"Oh but one thing, you ahve to do what me and Bakura say ok Pharaoh!"**

_**"Yep, we're your masters now."**_

**"Fine."**

**"Right see that thing, just flopping there."**

**"Where?"**

_**"The thing in my hands at the moment."**_

**"Oh.."**

**"Stroke it..."**

**"What!"**

_**"You heard Malik, stroke it."**_

**"fine..hmm...ohh.."**

**"What's it like?"**

_**"Ohh...well..it's moving quite a bit now..ohh."**_

**"Ohh..hmm..and wet.."**

**"Hey how come I'm missing out on the fun! Watch out guys cos I'm gonna stroke too!"**

All the hikari's blinked at each other, their faces in shock and wonder whilst they were in silence; Yugi breaking it in minutes...

"Whoa, did they give Yami a brain transplant?"

_"What the hell? Bakura not trying to kill Yami? Did they give him a brain transplant?"_

"What the hell is Malik doing with them? And why isn't he doing it with me instead?" 

Yugi and Ryou looked at Marik in disbelieve and both sighed at the other hikari.

**"Oh Look! It's moving faster now! It's enjoying this!"**

The hikari's looked at the kitchen door and thought that it was now the right time to see what was going on inside that room.

**"Yeah it is! Never knew storking this could be so much fun!"**

Yep defently the right time to enter the room!

**"Faster boys! This thing is getting frantic!"**

Now is defently the right time for the hikaris to walk in.

"What in Ra's name is going on in here!" Yugi shouted as he slammed the door open, knocking it off it's hinges as he did so. The three hikari's faced their yami's as they saw them in a weird position. Bakura was sitting on the table, his legs wide open as Yami lent over him slightly, Malik behind Yami with his arms wrapped round the Pharaoh and all of them having their hands over the Tombrobbers.

"Well Malik what is going on?" moaned the tanned hikari.

_"Come on Bakura, spit it out!" _sighed the paler hikari.

All was silent, that was until Yugi shouted "What is going on in here! Tell me now otherwise you shall all suffer!"

The yami's gulped as they all untangled from each other and sweatdropped as they noticed the glance the shortest hikari was given them. Ryou and Marik were growing impatient and were about to shout at their yami's until they all heard a faint flapping noise coming out from Bakura's hands. Yugi blinked confused, that was until he looked at his goldfish bowl which should of had his pet goldfish in it. "Yami were is Nemo?" Yugi asked, trying not to get too angry and hit them.

**"Nemo? hmm..er..well.."**

Ryou and Marik sighed as Ryou looked at Yami's finger, _"Why are you bleeding?"_ he asked as Marik looked around confused "Yeah and were's Yami's breasts you guys were talking about?". The yami's looked at each other and Bakura closed his hands tighter, trying to hide the constant flapping nosie the fish was making.

**"See the thing is Yugi..."**

_**"I found Nemo!" **_

Yami sighed as Bakura hang Yugi's prized goldfish by it's tail, the fish itself flapping wildly not liking being dry at all as it's red scales showed. Ryou sweatdropped as the shorter duelist went up to the tombrobber and grabbed his fish back, plopping it back into it's bowl. "Oh Bakura..." Yugi smirked as the white haired yami became slightly nervous. "You will pay for hurting my fish!" Yugi growled as he grabbed the yami by the hair and swung the yami round the room, letting him go soon afterwards sending him flying into his white haired hikari. "Now Malik unless you want to suffer the same as Bakura, explain what was going on.." Yugi asked as Marik stood next to him, his fists clenched ready for some rough action if he needed to us it.

**"Er well the honest truth is...Yai had these big chicken breasts rady to make you guys a lunch and then we saw your fish, took it out of it's bolw and began to play with it. Yami cut himself was cutting the chicken and then he played with us and the fish!"** Malik smiled as his hikari came closer and, grabbed his ears and dragged his yami with him as he stood at the doorway with Ryou and his passed out yami. _"Yugi I think we should get going, er...well see you sometime..bye!"_ and so the other two hikari's and yami's left the room and shop altogether, leaving Yami and Yugi all alone.

"Yami, you've been a bad boy and you need to be punsihed!"

**"Er..hehehe...Uh Oh!"**

"Heheeh..yami get ready for a world of hurt!"

**(End of Chapter)**

Well that's the end of that chapter, and once again..it's not that funny! I'm sorry! but oh well...So yeah thats the only threesome kinda one i'm doing...it's only becuase it's Chens Birthday I have done a special chapter ok. Oh well I hope you enjoyed it and I ave once again got a song for you to gues..godd luck and the same rules apply just like theother times..Good Luck -

**I was so happy when you smiled****  
Your smile breaks through the clouds of grey**

**Far from the sunny days that lie in sleep****  
Waiting with patience for the spring****  
When the flowers will bloom renewed again****  
Knowing there's more beyond the pain of today**

**Although the scars of yesterday remain****  
You can keep on living as much as your heart believes**

**You can't be born again****  
Although you can change****  
Let's stay together always**

Well that's the song and I think most of you have got it by now but if not here is a clue:-

1) Chinese Zodaic

Well that's all and see you next chapter and remember whoeevr gets this right and picks the pairing..no more pairings of 3 becuase to be honest with you guys..thats what the sequel is going to be about! Oh well C ya

Yugi


	18. Ishizu and Shadi

**A series of unfortunate 'sexual' events**

**key**

**speech: **Shadi speaking

_Speech: _Ishizu speaking

Speech: Marik speaking

Speech: Malik speaking

**Chapter Eighteen: **_Ishizu and Shadi_

Birds, Why are they here?

A completely random topic but have you ever thought why they were brought upon this planet? They attack farmers crops, drop their ever so lovely poo all over you. Yet why are they here?

Many birds fly over the town of Domino doing their usual thing. Each flap of their feathery wings making them glide along the sky. Many dangers surrounded these creatures and one poor bird was heading for such danger!

A beautiful dove danced across the sky as it approached a house, not a normal house though. This house seemed more Egyptian then modern. Its soft white feathers moving gracefully as it soon noticed a rather nice looking pie upon a windowsill, the window itself being conveniently left open so any animal can go near the pie.

Slowly the bird approached the fruity pie, not noticing a set of psycho violet eyes watching its every move. It began to peck quietly at the pastry, the eyes moving ever closer to the innocent bird. The dove's eyes began to look around as it noticed gravity defying blonde hair approaching. It was about to fly away until...

"Birdie!"

The dove flapped its wings franticly as a human being leapt out of the window after it, the person's violet eyes turning even more psycho as it already was. The dove flew faster as the human laughed, how was it possible for a human to float in the air? The bird didn't want to know the answer and so it flew away, hoping to never see that strange human ever again. Was it even human?

Malik frowned as the dove flew away. All he wanted to do was make friends with it, just like he did with Yugi's pet fish. He glanced down and noticed quite a few humans staring up at him, after all he was floating in mid air. "Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh shit they saw me!" Malik screamed as he dove back inside and hid under the bed. Very un-Malik if you ask me.

Marik growled in frustration as he stood outside his house. He wondered why everyone was looking up at his window. "Stupid people.." Marik sighed as he looked up. "It's not as if they've never seen a Malik floating in mid-air outside." Marik paused and glared at his yami, who by that time had disappeared and decided to go and see Malik face to face.

Marik smirked as he finally reached his bedroom, slamming the door open as he shouted "Here's Marik!" as his lavender eyes looked around the room for his so called 'yami'. "Malik? Were are you?" Marik smiled as he noticed a familiar purple cape sticking out from under the bed. He leant forward and gave a harsh tug at the fabric, causing Malik to emerge from underneath. "Hello Malik."

Malik whimpered as he felt his hiding space disappearing, he's legs starting to get carpet burn. Malik turned round and faced his hikari, soon wishing he hadn't as he felt a rolled up magazine hit him in the face. Marik stared at his yami as Malik's eyes began to water slightly. "Malik what do you think you were playing at? Everyone saw you! Now i have to go round with the millennium rod and wipe out that image from their heads!" Marik scowled, but he soon felt bad for his yami had tears streaming down his face. He leant forward and noticed the sadness and hurt in Malik's eyes and he well, felt sorry for him. Marik sighed and did the first thing that came to his mind. A hug. Malik's eyes widened as he felt the arms round him, he had never got a hug before and he didn't like it that much either. His eyes narrowed as he lunged forward and pinned Marik underneath him. Marik smiled as he noticed this action. "Welcome back Malik!" he said as his yami gave a psycho smile back. "Heh, did you get it?" Malik asked as his hikari nodded hs head in reply. "Yes I did." Marik sweat dropped a bit though "but are you sure you want to read it?". Malik gazed at his hikari Yes of course I want to read it! Yami's Weekly is the only magazine I read so give it here Marik!" Marik gave a nervous smile as he handed over the magazine, hopefully Malik won't react that bad to it.

Malik read through the magazine, some things made him laugh, well most of it did, until...

"MARIK!"

Marik turned to his yami and noticed the kind of scared and worried look in his yamis eyes. "What's wrong?" he asked as he leant over to look at the interview Malik was reading. "IT'S HIM!" Malik pointed to a picture of a small tri-coloured haired hikari. "It's Yugi! What's wrong with that?" Marik questioned. Malik shuddered in fear as he read the article more..."Marik it's about that incident that happened last week, the one round Yugi's house! Listen to this..'The 3 world renowned yamis, Bakura, Malik and Yami, suffered a humiliating defeat against innocent hikari, Yugi Muto. The yami's were caught fiddling with his pet fish and so each of them met the fate of this hikari, and none of them fought back. The worse suffered one was Yami who came out of hospital the other day with a broken arm. The other 2 yamis we have not heard from but we know both of them have taken to hiding from the public, after all they are meant to be big strong yamis and now that they have been beaten by one hikari, they are going to be laughing stocks of the whole shadow realm. Next time we have a photo shot with the 3 hikaris, in ways you have never seen them before." Malik glared at his hikari. "Marik!" he shouted as Marik sweat dropped, "Look it was only a couple of shoots here and there some of them we had clothes on whil- " Marik was cut off as Malik hit him. "I don't care about that, I mean I'm a laughing stock, What am I going to do? Everyone's going to laugh at me. That's what they were going to do today wans't it! Oh no!" Malik wined as Marik decided to hit him back. "Ouch, hey Marik! if i put a paper bag over my head, would any notice it's me?" Malik asked. "No Malik, no one would recognize a tanned person with gravity defying hair wearing a paper bag!" Marik sighed. Malik smiled back. "Great, no one will notice me, so now...TIME TO KILL YUGI MUTO FOR THAT ARTICLE!" Marik was a bout to protest until his yami stormed out of the room, "Didn't he read it! I wrote that article! oh well..Malik wait!"

Marik ran until he caught up with his yami version, "Malik you can't just run off like that!" he moaned as he grabbed hold of his yamis arm. Malik turned round and glared at him "And why the hell not?". Marik thought for a bit about a reason, "er because...You forgot to put your paper bag on your head!" he said as Malik stared at him confused. "No wait, er...oh yeah when we go out you have to tell Ishizu first!" he smiled. "I am not telling no pms-ing women were I am going, I can take care of myself!" Malik fumed as he walked more, until he was thrown back by his light, "GO AND SEE ISHIZU NOW!" he shouted as Malik looked at him a bit scared. "Fine" Malik sighed as he walked towards Ishizu's room, muttering to himself along the way. "I guess pms runs in this family."

Malik stood outside Ishizu's door and sighed, he turned away quickly in hope that he would be able to run away, that was until he ran into his hikari. "Malik Ishtar, get yourself in that room now!" he glared, but sadly his yami shoved him nearer the door. "Marik as she is your sister you can see her! All yours!". Marik sighed as he was about to knock on the door, that was until he heard voices. "Malik did anyone go in this room? Apart from Ishizu?" he asked. "Nope, I don't think so anyway...". Marik sighed at his yami lack of help and listened through the door. Malik sighed and joined in with his hikaris actions...Let the eavesdropping commence.

_**In room with Ishizu and Shadi**_

_"Shadi why have you come here? No one ever sees you around anymore."_

**"Miss Ishtar, I wish to meet new people...but i think your special so I've come to see you once again."**

_"Well I don't have the necklace anymore so I'm not special, Shadi."_

**"No i sense great talent from you, you have a secret you are hiding from everyone, something you take great pride in."**

_"Were are you getting all these silly ideas from?"_

**"I can sense many things, and you are hiding something. Tell me Ishizu, what are you hiding. What is it you take great pride in!"**

_"Ok, your right..It's my-my-...It's my jugs!"_

**"Ah, I knew you had something big about you. I never noticed it before."**

_"Its not that much. Come I'll show you more if you want?"_

**"Ok."**

Marik looked at Malik as the voices distanced away. "Malik their going nearer the window, For once do your magical floating think and make us be outside the window so we can hear!" Marik frowned as he stared at his yami. "Please!" he asked until he soon noticed Malik had done what he had asked. "Thanks Malik!" he smirked as he continued to spy on his sister. 'Why is Shadi here though' he thought, a sound of anger could be heard clearly.

_"So yeah this was the size of them when I first began."_

**"Wow, Miss. They were very small back then."**

_"Yes, soon after they developed. As you can see they have grown in size and shape."_

**"Ahh, I sense that. Tell me, does your brother Marik take an interests in your jugs?"**

_"No sadly Marik prefers more boyish, exciting things."_

**"Those jugs are enough to excite me any day!"**

_"Yeah they excite me too, it was Mai who actually got me into this. After all Mai took up gardening and so I decided to do something that would require me to use my hands more. Sometimes Mai comes over and helps me as well."_

**"Well I've been told it's better to have a women help you with that job then a man? Tell me Miss Ishizu, would I be allowed to help? After all I have always wanted some for my own..."**

_"Sure you can but what are you going to give me in return Shadi? After all Mai pays me by trimming my bush once in a while, what will you offer?"_

**"I shall offer you my own rod, like Marik and Malik's it needs to be polished regularly but handled with much more care Miss Ishizu."**

_"Well that sounds ok to me..."_

Marik and Malik blinked as they continued to float outside, Malik looking at his hikari once in a while. "Marik can I polish your Rod actually?" The Yami smirked. "Marik no way in Ra's hell! Your to rough it still has the scratches from last time!" The hikari fumed as he felt his anger rising, one for his increasingly perverting Yami and two because of the also perverted Shadi molesting his sister. 'Sheesh Hikaris..' Malik thought as they still watched and floated about.

**"Tell me miss why do you not teach Miss Wheeler? I thought you would be more the type of woman who liked to be the teacher and teach the younger pupil?"**

_"Hmm, I've thought about that too, but I have more fun doing this with Mai then her I would think. After all Mai does have experience in this."_

**"Indeed she does. So teach me Miss, teach me the way of handling the Jugs!"**

_"Alright..first get your hands wet and..."_

"Stop this now!"

Both the two elderly tanned Egyptians looked towards the window as a fuming blonde haired hikari jumped through the closed window.

_"What is the meaning of this, Marik Theodore Ishtar!"_

Marik blinked at his older sister as he wiped off some of the glass from his shoulders, his yami standing behind him. "Sister that is not my name? I'm just plain old Marik Ishtar."

_"I don't care I am raving mad with you right now and I want to hear an explanation!"_ Ishizu shouted.

"Well excuse me Miss Ishizu 'touch my jugs' Ishtar. I heard you and the stranger talking and I thought he was touching you up!" Marik glared.

"Whoa it is true..pms does run in this family."

"Shut it!" Marik snarled at his yami as both Shadi and Malik looked at the clay that was on a wooden tray in front of them. **"Hmm I wonder what we do next? And young man..I am Shadi not 'The Stranger'" **Shadi sighed as he begin to run his hands along the cold, damp clay; soon catching the attention of the Psycho Yami. The two Ishtars still arguing. "What is that?" Malik asked as he took a seat next to Shadi and began to rub some clay himself. **"Ahh this is clay, it is used to make Jugs and Mugs, well pottery really. Miss Ishtar was going to teach me how to make some until Marik entered the scene."** Shadi sighed as the yami just nodded.

"Listen your obsession with Jug making has gone on for long enough! I shall ban it you here, neither me or Malik shall start this 'hobby' as you call it, isn't that right Malik!" Marik shouted as he looked at his sister then his yami, his face paling a bit as he saw Malik playing with clay and it looked like he was making his own jug.

"Malik what in Ra's name are you doing?"

The yami looked up at his light, his eyes glazed over. "Why Marik, I'm playing with clay! Join us!" he smiled, even more psycho then usual.

Marik's eyes bulged out as he saw Shadi and Ishizu having the same look in their eyes, soon saying in unison...

_**"Join Us! Join us Marik!"**_

Marik had no time to reply as he jumped out of the window, disappearing from the other 3's views. Malik, Ishizu and Shadi smiled manically as they pointed to the imaginary screen you are reading this on...

_**"Join Us!"**_

**(End of Chapter)**

Well that's all. Sorry for the late update and please review. Thanks to the previous reviewers for the last chapter. This chapter is for the following people...

**Mai **(My sister..heh enjoy), **S.Chensu **(Have fun at uni, we'll miss ya), **Luff **(Ur a great pal!) and also **Lia Xaragi **(Well all care for you and ur a great pal 2!)

C ya all next chapter!

Yugi


	19. Mai and Téa

**A series of unfortunate 'sexual' events**

**Key**

**speech:** Mai speaking

_speech:_ Téa Speaking

speech: Ryou speaking

speech: Bakura speaking

**Chapter Nineteen:** _Mai and Téa_

It was soon approaching Christmas once again, the season were you are meant to be jolly and spend time with your loved ones. Some may find this a great time waster whilst others take it as a chance to get as much drink and food down their throats as possible not worrying about the extra pounds they are putting on at the same time, but as well we all know a greater problem comes before the celebration of some religious persons birth…Christmas shopping.

Ryou ran a gloved hand through his snow drenched hair he clutched his bags closer to his rake thin body. "Just a few days to go now..." he said in his rich British accented voice, a slight tint of sadness within him as he knew his dad wasn't going to be home for Christmas again this year, but why would you need a dad when you have Bakura around? Ryou laughed slightly at that idea after last Christmas where somehow Yami had become the new decoration upon the top of their Christmas tree, Bakura trying his best to try and be an angel an act as innocent as possible over the matter. For this Ryou was grateful even though Bakura wasn't exactly the kindest of yami's he was still there for Ryou even after finally getting his own body he still stayed by his side making sure no one would harm him, even though at times it seemed more likely the ancient thief was trying to piss off the once proud Pharaoh and cause havoc with the most psychotic yami of them all, Malik.

The English Light wrapped his coat round him tighter as the breeze picked up, his bangs tickling across his pink tinted cheeks whilst snow began to make a blanket across the floor. A smile appeared across Ryou's face after all snow seemed like innocence and that's what the lights were hence their over joy when it comes to winter as all three of them acted like 5 years olds. Ryou walked, well slipped a few times along the way as he went along the busy streets people rushing past carrying gifts whilst the seasonal carols filed the air bringing the sound of angels to the town of Domino. Amongst the carol singers was the smallest of the lights, Yugi who was wearing the woolliest of jumpers that of course was slightly too big for his small frame whilst next to him was a shivering Pharaoh. Ryou laughed as he waved to the youth wondering when someone was going to tell Yami that wearing his leather gear in -6oc weather was not a good thing, at least his yami thought about health more then style.

"Hmm…speaking of Bakura, what to get him for Christmas?" Ryou said, sighing as he glanced at the sheet of paper the ancient thief had given him, "Great … he wants a set of knives to stab the Pharaoh, grenades to blow up the Pharaoh, a gun to shoot the Pharaoh. Pharaoh...pharaoh…pharaoh. NO WAY!" Ryou laughed nervously as he folded the sheet of paper and threw it in the nearest bin. "What's Bakura and Malik's obsession with harming him anyway? Well the last thing Kura wrote on that list didn't seem like something he wanted to harm Yami with, yet alone me." He shook his head and glanced at the shopping centre, noticing as usual round this time of year they had some poor guy dressed up in a Father Christmas suit, yet for some reason Ryou felt he knew this Santa from some were before. "Wonder were Bakura is anyway? Oh well. Who's next on the list? Ah Téa and Mai!" The Light said happily walking off not noticing a pair of harsh brown eyes watching him like a hawk from within the shopping centre. "Ho ho ho.."

Ryou glanced inside a clothes store, his breath fogging up the window with a faint mist. "Why is it that girls are so hard to shop for?" he frowned as he slid on the path, soon wincing as his backside came in contact with the pavement. "Damn that ice…" He moaned blinking as a black gloved hand grabbed his and hoisted him up. "T-t-thank you." Ryou stuttered as the young male dressed up in the Santa outfit that winked at him, a slight smirk crossing his face. Ryou blinked and was about to speak as he noticed the dark brown eyes staring at him, but had no chance to as the figure pointed to a make-up store and walked off. "I swear I know him…" Ryou muttered as he faced the store the figure had pointed to, quickly grabbing the shopping bags he had dropped and running across the road and walking into the shop.

The first thing that hit Ryou's senses' was the strong and over-powering smell of perfume, causing the light to cough harshly getting a few stern female glares his way. "Sorry…" he muttered as he thought was this the best of ideas, even though it wasn't his idea in the first place but Santa's. Well the fake one that is. He gazed around the shelves, half of the stuff he didn't even recognise or had heard of before whimpering and a look of fright hitting his face as three women approached him, each with a fake 'welcoming' look upon their faces. "Excuse me, young lady, how may we help you?" The tallest and big breasted one asked as Ryou tried to look for a way to escape, soon frowning at being called a member of the opposite sex. "Er, beg your pardon Miss big ches-I mean shop assistant, but I am no girl." Ryou waved his arms about trying to reassure them. "Aww that's what all the cute girls say, don't be shy, we'll help you" The next female said, grabbing Ryou's hand and dragging him along further into the store, the hikari's face turning into a look of despair as the shop exit seemed to be getting further and further away. "I told you three, I am no girl." But his cries were ignored as he was being pulled along by all three females entering the lion's den.

Ryou closed his eyes through the rest of the journey as he heard the sound of the girl's giggling as they came to an abrupt stop. "We are here, please ask if you need any more help Ok little girl." The last female said patting his head as he watched them walk off, sweat dropping and rolling his eyes as he wondered what went on within a girls mind, and how could they not work out he wasn't a male. "I'm not that girly, am I?" he asked himself as he looked along the shelves, spotting a variety of foundations and eye shadows. **AN:** _I don't know that much about make up folks, even though I'm a girl I don't tend to wear that stuff and I personally hate make up heh…but oh well_) "Hmm, this might do for Mai.." Ryou said happily as he grabbed a gift box containing a variety of make up in the shades of purple. "And this for Téa." He picked up a box with make up in different shades of blue. "Hope that's Ok for them, I am not doing this again." He moaned as he approached the till, cringing at how long the line was, like it tends to be around the Christmas Season. "Shit! I forgot about Ishizu and Serenity!" Ryou cursed as he ran back to the gift boxes and looked around. "Hmm…pink, black, grey, green. OH I DON'T KNOW!" Ryou screamed as he noticed a door at the back, sparkling lights around the edge and pink in the inside. "Maybe in there.." he said approaching the door and noticing more make up sets inside, acting like he was a tombrobber who had just found the pharaoh's stash of gold. "Yeah, score! Maybe it is helpful having an ancient tombrobber the king thief as a yami." He smiled as he walked inside, picking up the first two boxes that caught his attention. "Innocent Pink and Egyptian Gold set." He laughed mentally suddenly gulping as he heard noises nearby, after all he did just walk into the store cupboard. "Shit, shit shit..exit now!" he screamed in his head, sprinting to the door which had just locked itself, Ryou 'meeping' and blinking, looking for a place to hide, the noises getting louder. "Hey wait...I know those." He blinked and hid behind a Playboy make up set, listening to the conversation.

Bless little Ryou, he's just like his yami…a nosey white haired bunny? (yes that as very random..you might not understand..heh..-;;) Lol...enjoy little Ryou.

_**In the store room with Mai and Téa**_

"_What did you want from me Mai? I should be on the tills you know how busy it is."_

"**Yes I know, you have to see what I've been doing though. Trying to help men shop for their girls on this festive holiday is not my idea of fun."**

"_Tell me about it, but still what did you want Mai? Don't forget it's not long till Christmas soon and that means day's off and a big sum of cash within our banks!"_

"**Well about Christmas I've been meaning to do this for a while now Téa, I really have."**

"_Hmm? What is it?"_

"**Well I thought as I won't be seeing you for much longer as working play mate. I thought I would give you your present…well...early hun."**

_"Really for me? You shouldn't have!"_

**"Don't worry, this is just for starters..now close your eyes."**

_"Ok they are shut.."_

**"Right tell me if this tickles or hurts at all..ok..ready."**

_"Ahh...hey.what's ...that.."_

**"Oh this is something new i found laying around the place..sorry if it's a bit cold but don't worry we'll warm it up later."**

_"Ok, I can do that and then I can show you the new dance I learnt very seducing it is too."_

**"I look forward to it hun, afterall you in that short skirt can be very sexy indeed."**

_"Really? Hmm anything for my little Yugi, but recently he seems to be spending more time with Yami. Well infact all the hikari's seem to be with their yami's a lot more often..."_

**"Does he? Well he doesn't know what he is missing really. I on the other hand am happy your here, now lets continue what we started okay my sweet Téa."**

_"Yes Mai."_

Ryou sweatdropped as he listened to the conversation, girlish giggles and faint sighs were heard behind and the Light's eyes widened. "Please stop..this is not good not good!" Ryou mumbled as he looked aorudn the room, facing the two females and quickly turning back as he saw what looked like their arms and legs wrapped around each other. "oh dear." he sighed and wrapped his arms round the two gift sets he was getting for the female Wheeler and Ishtar. "What am I going to do?" Ryou moaned glancing at the closed door and wimpering with dispair. "Why me.."

**"Right, I think I'll put some of this on now. It should help you from not getting any strecth marks on your skin."**

_"Let me help, but ahh..your nails."_

**"Sorry hun but I must say you're flushing quite a lot?"**

_"Oh it's just I like this and well I've never tried it before."_

**"Ah I see but obviously you have done some of this once in your life?"**

_"Yeah of course it's just around Battle City and the other tournaments I didn't really have time I was just thinking about my precious Yugi. ah.."_

**"Heh sorry. You we're talking about the shrimp again when it should be just a bit of me and you time. Well I think that's enough stuff to stop you getting stretched too much."**

_"Hey wait? You not going to do it that much are you? I like things gentle unlike you."_

**"Ahh that explains the whole blushing and flushing thing. Well don't worry hun I can do things to your liking. Now i'm just going to put some of this on my hands and fingers so it can be spread easily."**

_"Oh, I just tend to put a dollop on and leave it like that. I'm not really that fussy."_

**"And that's what makes the difference between a whore and a women. You may have a chest and all but you need to lure the bait in, give them a wink, flash a smile..or if your like me just show them the pair and they faint on the spot."**

_"I haven't fainted."_

**"So you've been looking? heh glad to know I have a few female fans around the place. Now were was I. Oh yes I remember..this.."**

_"Ahh Mai your getting it all in my hair!"_

**"Well maybe if you trimmed once in a while it wouldn't happen. Hmm that looks good to me, peachy." **

_"I'm glad it is I'll tell you my secret one time, but come on..i'm getting hot here."_

**"Sorry this is taking along time isn't it, but you said do it gently so I'm doing it slowly. Don't want to spill everywere do we." **

_"Mai..please..need. Hurry up!"_

**"Hush dear someone might hear with the way your shouting. It's only..."**

"WAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Téa and Mai both sat up at the high pitched scream and blinked, spotting some movement behind the box of Playboy goods. "Im sorry, I'm sorry .." the voice mumbled as both girls stood up and walked over to the products, smiling at the sight before them.

_"Ryou , what a er..pleasant surprise to see you." _Téa said with false happiness.

Mai looked at Téa and then to the albino hikari. **"Who's this girl?" **she asked as Ryou looked up at her and glared. "I inform you Mai I am no girl!" he poted as the femlae duelist beant down and pulled him close to her chest hugging him. **"I was only joking silly." **she said her voice hiding a secret plan. "Well er..I think I best be going I'll just leave yout two to er.play with.." Ryou sweatdropped as he looked at their faces which were covered in layers of make up, some on Téa's hair. "Make up?"

_"Yes what else do you think we were doing?" _Téa asked smiling and bringing a brush with blusher towards his cheek. Mai smirking and dabbing some eye shadow above his startled eyes. "Wahhh Goodbye!" Ryou screamed as he grabbed his goods and ran out of the shop, not paying for the female presents. "Oh dear, oh dear!" he moaned as he heard their laughter in the background.

**"That was fun hun. Shall we do what he thought we were doing then or not?"**

_"Sure Mai." _Téa said as Ryou ran for his life towards the shopping centre.

Ryou ran further his breath and heart beat coming out rapidy but soon nearly stopping with freight as he ended up in someones lap, a red one with white fluff round the edges. The hikari gazed up and saw the familair face of the fake Santa who had helped him so many times, who was now currently running his hands along the inside of his leg.

"So little man or should I say hikari. What do you want for christmas?" The fake santa asked as he licked Ryou's cheek a smirk playfully flashing in his dark brown eyes. Ryou looked up at the voice and went pale screaming...

"BAKURA!"

**(End of Chapter)**

Sorry about the long wait for the this chapter but after listening to quite a few anime mp3's (mostly the Japanese ygo ones, especially Warriors.) I have finally typed the next chapter and I hope you enjoy it after the long wait. I thought I would finally put it up today to mark the special even of the final series of Yugioh being shown in the UK. YAY! lol..anyway hope you liked and I really don't like doing femlae x female pairings. Very hard to do but thank you so much Kazuki for not having tones of female characters! heh c yas and Merry Christmas for I know I probably won't update till the new year.

Yugi


	20. Ryou and Marik

**A series of unfortunate 'sexual' events **

**Yugi:** Wahh I am so sorry that I haven't updated since last year, I've been so busy in real life with school that I haven't had time and heh, I honestly thought no one would really care if I updated or not but thank you those who reviewed the last chapter and I hope this makes up for the amount of time you had to wait for me.

Enjoy oh and I will have special guests from FullMetal Alchemist in this chapter and I don't own those characters. Okays? Read and Review please.****

**Key  
**Marik – **Bold**  
Ryou – _Italics  
_Yugi – Normal  
Malik (Yami) – **Bold Underlined**  
Bakura – _**Bold Italics**  
_Yami – Underlined  
'Thoughts and police scanner thingy'****

**Chapter 20:** _Ryou and Marik (Ra that many chapters already!)  
_  
Dark cloud's loomed in the sky as rain pounded down on the cold grey roads, flashes of red and white lights streaked along in between white lines, hums of windscreen wipers echoing in the air as the late night workers began their drive home. Some people going to greet mums that spend more of their time on E-bay, then doing work. Kids that attend schools were either the teachers loses their work or the student themselves tries to acknowledge the term 'work'. Yep it was just the usual evening rush hour, slow, boring and the loud piercing screech of a siren thundered along the motorway.

A chase was on.

Flashes of blue and red glowed in the darkness as cars that contained worn out mums and road raged dads beeped loudly as a people carrier whizzed in and out of the vehicles, the person driving the car like a madman. Screeches of rubber tires running over the heavily soaked road could be heard as soon following closely behind was a flash white car with sirens upon it's roof, a police car.

_'This is code 182, 182 I repeat 182. We are on pursuit on the vehicle with registration Y4M1 H1K4R1. (An: _I want that car!) _We will catch up and intercede. Over.' _

_'Roger that. Proceed.'_

The police driver nodded as he put his foot on the accelerator and sped after the people carrier, approaching the said car rapidly as the driver of the other vehicle continued to zigzag across the road, showing no sense of the driver having received any lessons at all. The policeman sighed as the thought of arresting another boy racer sprang to his mind, he soon blinked though as the car he was interceding began to slow down, soon stopping in a nearby lay by.

"What in the hell?" (A.n: The cops going to be like this for a while okay, but well this is going to be a sort of anime crossover cops.)  
He ran his gloved hand through his black hair, glancing at his shorter partner in the driver seat who was absent-mindedly playing with one of his blonde bangs. "Let's go shrimp." The other cop glared at him as he turned to look at the parked people carrier, no signs of a single person exiting the vehicle. Piercing crimson eyes suddenly glaring through the darkness, reminding the lad of that scene from Jurassic Park, before the T-Rex made itself known. He snapped out of his daze as his taller, darker haired partner poked him. "Come on, let's book these kids." The other policeman smiled, playing with his clean white gloves. And soon they slowly approached the parked vehicle, the short and tall male, not expecting the danger within. (A.n: Can anyone guess who the two cops are? Yeah I lack in the idea department)

Yami glanced back at the police car behind, groaning as he saw two figures walk towards the vehicle they were occupying. Turning his heated crimson gaze to his right he saw psycho lilac and dark amber staring right back at him, both with equal size grins plastered on their face.

"Bakura, you idiot! Now look what you've done. You said you could drive a car!"

The ex-Pharaoh growled, as the asked Tombrobber just shrugged his shoulders, not caring. Malik on the other hand was idly playing with Bakura's white hair, stroking the soft locks and trying to make a plait out of it. The only sound heard was the pitter-patter of the rain hitting the vehicles roof as the tension between the three yami's began to heat up.

"**He's driven more then a car Yami." **

**_"Heh Malik's right you know. Maybe I could show you later..."_ **

"Is that really all you two think about, Ra damn it. Now we're going to get arrested thanks to you idiots."

**"Oh, so I wasn't even driving and now I'm getting blamed for this? Typical." **

**_"It's your looks Malik, you look like a psycho killer to me... wait you are."_** Bakura chuckled as Malik blinked and nodded in agreement with him. "Heh well I've heard I look good in stripes but I just hope the lines are going the right way otherwise Yami's going to look fat. Wait Yami being fat? Is that even possible…?"

Yami rolled his eyes as he swatted the Thief round the head his Tri-coloured hair shook gently at the action, a gasp emitting from his lips as the tanned yami climbed onto his lap grinning happily.

"Malik! What in Ra's name are you? Oh… hmmm… d-doing? There's cops coming and aaahhh... oh—h-.oh… Hikaris!"

Bakura watched the pair shaking his head whilst suppressing a chuckle, his eyes soon looking at the window as a white gloved hand tapped at the glass rapidly, the white haired driver having no choice but to wind down the windows. Bakura's narrowed eyes soon spotting dark brown eyes, a slight shade lighter then black staring back at him, a sly smirk on the other figures face. (A.n: Okay I'm just going to make this clear, Bakura's in the drivers seat whilst Malik and Yami are also in the front with him, someone else is in the back…)

"Would you mind stepping out of your vehicle Madame?" The cop asked, the grin never leaving his face as water droplets trickled down his face, the weather seeming to worsen. Bakura on the other hand frowning dangerously as he growled, leaning his head closer to the policeman's face.

**_"Firstly I'm a male, and secondly I don't think so." _**

The officer turned to his shorter partner and shook his head soon facing Bakura once again. "Hmm, It makes sense why you where so flat then, anyway I'm sorry sir but you have to step out of this vehicle." He tapped his gloved finger impatiently on the car window, looking at the other two yamis and frowning.

"Er excuse me, you do know that a…" He pointed to Malik who was currently biting on the Pharaoh's neck. "That it's illegal to have sex in a public area and b..." he then pointed to Yami, who was trying to pry the tanned male off him. "He's under age."

Crimson eyes glared at the officer angrily as he managed to move Malik to the side of him, a growl rumbling in his throat. "I am not underage! I have you know I'm way, way older then the age limit, by a few thousand years in fact." The Pharaoh pouted as Malik began to pinch at his cheeks, chuckling madly at the same time. The policeman shook his head again, now starting to get annoyed and stepped back, clicking his fingers producing a faint spark.

"Ed, I think we've got ourselves here some drunks. I think the tanned male and some underage kid who thinks they are a few thousand years old give enough evidence."

The officer named Ed, grinned as he rubbed his hands eagerly whilst he ran back to the police car, grabbing a Breathalyzer and handing it to the taller cop.

"Here you go Roy."

Roy smiled as he took the equipment and attempted to open the door, sighing with frustration, as he couldn't open the locked door. His eyes narrowed as he saw the white haired yami grinning at him, a fang resting on his bottom lip.

"Urgh anyway sir can you put this in your mouth and give it a good blow."

Bakura stared at the object and shook his head, still grinning. **_"Ra no, I'm not blowing on plastic, I've got these lot to do it to and trust me they are better then plastic any day. Anyway by the looks of it that thing hasn't even been washed." _**

"You have no option sir, Blow!"

**_"Fuck.Off! No wonder you cops are so frustrated you want to watch us innocent bystanders blow in front of you. Why don't you ask the shrimp there to give you a good old job and then you'll probably be a lot more happier." _**

Roy glared as his eyes began to shimmer like a faint flicker of a flame was within them, his fists were clenching dangerously as he looked at his partner, who seemed as pissed off.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SHRIMP THAT ISN'T EVEN TALL ENOUGH TO GIVE HIS BOYFRIEND A GOOD OLD BLOW IN THE POLICE CAR!"

Ed's cheeks puffed up as Roy, Ed's boyfriend growled spotting the three yamis grinning and sniggering at them.

"THAT'S IT!" The blonde haired cop shouted as he brought out three pairs of handcuffs staring at the three males. "You three are under arrest for drink driving, having sex in indecent areas and finally trying to have sex with an underage hooker." Roy nodded as he pulled Bakura's hands off the steering wheel and put the cuffs over his pale wrists, the yamis watching intently.  
**_  
"Well who knew the cops were into this sort of stuff, heh."_** Bakura chuckled as he looked at Malik, winking whilst Yami growled angrily at the insults once again. **"Well officers I think you made the wrong choice for trying to arrest us, and calling Yami a whore, he's nothing of the sort! He just likes to… oww!"** Malik rubbed his head as Yami's hand hit him, frowning and then smiling slightly as Malik's wrists were trying to get cuffed.

"We have the ultimate weapon against all evil and even this sight will make you officer's crumble. Prepare yourself, okay I would do an evil laugh but I'm not qualified." 

**_"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" _**

"Thank you Bakura." The Pharaoh sweat dropped as the white haired yami grinned and fiddled with the handcuffs intently, Malik's eyes starting to glaze over as little thought bubbles started to appear in his non existent mind. Yami just sighed heavily as the two handcuffed Yami's either side of him seemed fascinated with the handcuffs on their wrists, too fascinated for the Ancient Pharaoh's liking. His crimson eyes spotted the button he was looking pressing it, a grin spreading across his lips

"And now your worse nightmare, well okay er… nightmare but it's debatable but er..well…"

_**"Yami you will never make it as a bad guy, you can't just go 'er' and 'but'..." **_

**"Does this really matter at the moment Bakura?"**

"Exactly, now gentlemen meet you doom." 

Ed and Roy exchanged curious glances as the heard a faint click, the back windows of the people carrier slowly winding down, to reveal."Er, It's pitch black and empty…" Ed sweatdropped as he stood on tiptoes, Roy chuckling slightly as he stood behind the short policeman and picked him up slightly, both seeing totally darkness in the backseat.

"What's that?" The Taller Cop asked as he saw a faint flicker of lilac. The flicker was joined by another lilac sparkle, Roy blinking and staring intently. The lilac was soon joined by two sparkling gems of amethyst and later doe brown gazed back at the two males.

"Roy? What is that…."

"Eyes…" Roy whispered, still staring as the 3 pairs of eyes moved forward, each of them glistening with tears, which had yet to spill. Faint whimpers could be heard from the things in the back of the vehicle yet no facial expressions could be seen just large watery eyes that seemed to grow more and more larger over a matter of seconds.

"Roy…" Ed glanced at his partner and tapped his shoulder, well tried but due to his lack of height settled to tugging on the males arm instead. "Roy…er…this is not good."

"Agreed, now how about I shine some light on the subject."

The cop known as Roy brought forward his gloved hand, a red symbol with a salamander on it could be seen. His fingers clicked briefly as the rain had now settled, allowing a faint flame to erupt from his finger tips and light up the back of the vehicle, what the cops saw shocked them.

Three exact replicas of the three teens in the front of the car were staring back at them, their eyes swelled up with tears and their lips pouting. All three of the young males were shaking slightly and looking completely innocent and harmless and also scared out of they're whit's.

"Ed…it can't be...it's the.." Roy's speech seemed to have started to stutter the more he looked at the three lighter versions of the males in the front.

"It's the slut, women looking male driver and psychopath, but…they…look…so……adorable..and….kawaii..and.."

Ed's eyes were widening and a grin was appearing on his face along with his partner, soon both of the cops had their arms embraced around each other as huge, happy grins appeared on their faces as they began to look like they were physically melting. Ed and Roy slowly slipped onto the floor, giggling slightly and were repeating constantly a choruses of 'Aww's and Kawaii's' before they both spoke at the same time.

"IT'S PUPPYDOG EYES!!!"

A series of evil chuckles came from the people carrier before it wasn't seen anymore, apart from a huge trail of smoke followed as it once again sped along the motorway; the cops long forgotten in a pile of mush on the floor.

**-------------  
**  
Amethyst eyes narrowed as he watched the cops in the distance, his eyes now back to normal along with Ryou and Marik's who he was sitting next to.

"Yami…"

Yugi whined at his darker half who was currently being once again straddled by the tanned Egyptian yami. Hearing no reply he pouted and blew at the single blonde bang that had fallen before his face, he tried again.

"Yami?!?!"

With no reply once more he glanced at his other two hikari friend's, Ryou looking like he was scolding his yami via mind link whilst Marik, actually Yugi didn't want to know why he had that look upon his face. Sweatdropping the smallest hikari leant forward and blushed slightly at the liplock Yami and Malik were currently in.

"YAMI!!!!!!!"

The tri-coloured haired male leant back, a flush across his face as he looked at his hikari's angry features.

"Er, hi..Aibou."The ex-Pharaoh licked his bruised lips absent mindedly as Malik ran his hands along the leather hips, Yami shuddering slightly and started at Yugi still who did not look too impressed.

"Yami! How could you do that?"

"What Malik was touching me…ahh..up." 

Yugi sighed as he tried to ignore the faint ragged breaths he was hearing. "Yami I don't care about that, Malik goes for anything these days. Anyway how could you put us in trouble like that!"

"ME!?! HOWS IT MY FAULT WHEN BAKURAS THE ONE DRIVING!?!" 

Bat like white hair flapped as harsh brown eyes glared angrily at the Pharaoh and his modern version, both 'meeping' at the Tombrobber.

**_"Listen here Pharaoh's Runt, you get back in the backseat and continue playing your Gameboy and rant on why Pikachu is some sort of alien that is corrupting children's minds."  
_  
**Yugi nodded quickly as he disappeared to sit back with Ryou and Marik, both seeming like everything was normal.

**_"And you Pharaoh…" _**

**_" ….. " _**

**_"It's not my fault that my foot slipped and…. WILL YOU AND MALIK STOP MAKING OUT INFRONT OF ME WHEN I WANT A PIECE OF THE ACTION!!! NOW IM MAD!!" _**

Silence was heard as the other two Yami's blinked and nodded their head's faintly, Bakura now looking back on the road and noticing a sign showing that a drive and stop restaurant was nearby. He would pull over soon and maybe get rid of some 'tension'. With a feral grin he put his foot full on the gear and drove on, deciding to put the radio.'There once was a man named Gold Roger who was king of the pirates, he had fame weal-'

Yami's eyes blinked as he turned the radio off again and started at Bakura, who's grip on the steering wheel looked like it would snap the leather wheel or brake the pale yami's own hand.

**_"Who does he think that guy is, First his a CEO and now his doing bloody Pirate Narration!" _**

"Er Kura I don't think that's Kaiba…" 

**_"So why does that sound like him the? Hey Hey!?! Explain that one Pharaoh!?!"_**

"I don't know, I just don't think that's him…" 

**_"Just because you were Pharaoh you think you know everything right?" _**

"What's this got to do with it…"

**_"Nothing. Now let me drive Yami! Sheesh your such a distraction!?! It's guys like you who want to make a girl become a Lesbian." _**

The Ex-Pharaoh blinked as he rubbed his head confused, soon shuddering again as Malik's hand decided to remind the once royal one they were still there. The sound of a Gameboy being switched on the, followed by clicks was heard as they soon approached the drive and stop nothing but the sounds of Pokémon to disturb the silence.

**----------- **

Bakura sighed as he finally had managed to park the people carrier, Ryou telling him that Disable Parking does not mean Mental Disturbed people can park there despite the white haired Yami's believe; he found a spot and was all too happy to step out of the vehicle at long last.  
He stretched and gave out a moan of satisfaction as the other two front passengers Yami and Malik stepped out. All three of them gazed at each other as they licked their lips hungrily, soon dashing into Little Chefs and leaving the three Hikari's in the vehicle.

_"Well looks like we won't be seeing them for a while?" _

**"Hmm, guess you have a point there. Oh well they have urges like everyone else speaking of which, oh Ryou…" **

_"Er Hehe, No Marik. Anyway I have a question? When did Yaoi suddenly become so important in this fanfiction? I thought that this was meant to be non-yaoi etc" _

**"Er what fanfiction?"**

"I think Ryou's been on the sugar Marik. The question you should be really asking is what is Bulbasaur's real motives with those vines he has…"

The other two Hikaris blinked nervously as Yugi continued to play his LeafGreen Game not paying attention as he spoke.

**"Er, I'm not sure I guess it's simply so he can play better. I don't know." **

Ryou blinked even more as he shook his head, soon opening the door and deciding to step out.

_"Listen I'm going to go in and get some drinks, did any of you want anything or would care to join me?" _

Yugi shook his head, tapping away like a madman on the hand-held console whilst Marik slipped out of the vehicle and stood next to the white haired hikari. Rubbing his sandy lock Marik sighed and spoke,

_"Yugi if you need anything at all, just come inside and we'll be at a table. The other three…I'm not so sure about."_

Yugi was still tapping away.

**"You sure you'll be okay here, on your own. In a car park. All Alone. Doors Unlocked. Rap- OWW! Fine we are going. Bye Yugi." **

Ryou sighed as he smacked the other hikari over the head, walking away. Marik right on his tail.

_"Marik he'll be fine, you didn't have to say all that." _

**"I'm related in some weird way to Malik, of course I'm going to say something stupid. It's in the jeans…well okay in Malik's case I bet you right now it's not." **Marik replied, a small grin on his face as his violet orbs sparkled with amusement.

The white haired hikari, on the other hand, rolled his eyes and walked in.

_"Like Yami, Like Hikari…"  
_  
The distant cries of Yugi yelling Pikachu was the only thing that could be heard.

--------------

Hours and hours felt like they had passed to little Yugi as he finally had defeated the Elite Four, a happy smile was on his face as he saved the game and finally exited the car.

"Hmm, now what to do?"

Remembering the rest of his friend's had gone into the restaurant he quickly ran inside the building and looked around. Some people where already sitting quietly in their seats whilst others were ordering from the tills.

"Wow, busy place."

He sweatdropped and scanned the little amount of people in the building, not seeing the other two hikaris or yamis at all. Raising a brow his ears quivered slightly as he heard faint grunting. Confused the hikari decided to follow the noise.

"What's that…?"

Sighing his sight came upon a cleaning cupboard, the door moving slightly and the nose seeming louder as Yugi inched closer. His eyes blinking as he soon leant his ear against the door. A frown soon suddenly appearing as he swore he recognized one of the occupiers of the cupboard.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Yugi cried as he opened the door, staring at the sweaty, tangled up site before him and slammed the door shut again. His heart racing at catching his yami in such an intimate and yet slightly appealing state.

"How could he? With those two? Be still my beating heart…I did not like that site, much. WAH!!"

The organ seemed not to listen as a blush spread throughout his cherub face, his fingers loosening the collar around his neck. Yugi's eyes searching frantically for a place to hide. His amethyst eyes soon spotted the male toilets.

"There!"

Ignoring the weird looks he was receiving the tri-coloured hikari sprinted into the male loos, running straight to the sink and began to throw water in his face.

"Ra that was, I don't know. It kind of looked…nice…and…WAH NO YUGI BAD THOUGHTS! Ra I'm glad I'm alone otherwise…"

**"Oh Ryou…" **

Yugi's eyes opened widely as he looked at one of the toilet cubicles behind him, seeing the sign saying engaged he walked forward and stood in front of the door, curiosity getting the better of him. He just had to double check he wasn't hearing thing's.

"Marik? Ryou?"

He gulped to himself as he listened more, echoes of shuffling and breathing could be heard whilst Yugi continued to listen.  
Poor little Hikari not knowing that one of his fellow kind is typing this about him and wanting to see him eavesdrop. We all know that he really is not innocent but instead a kinky little minx, but that's a different fanfiction children. This one is about eavesdropping and sadly, Yugi's the 20th victim.

**_Inside the Toilet Cubicle with Ryou and Marik  
_"So you sweet little thing, what do you want to say to me? Hmm.."**

_"Well er, ahem. You look well, hot."_

**"Hmm, now that you mention it, you do to. Now how about I suckle on your pale cherry lips and show you how to have a good time?"**

_"...that's a new one." _

**"We haven't got much time Ryou, get on with it."**

_"Huh, oh sorry."_

**"Hush, hush pet. Come to Marik."**

_"You send shivers down my spine."_

**"Let me hold you, hug you, love you."**

_"Take Me. Lick me till I melt."  
_  
**"If you say so."**

_"I think your taking this way to seriously but I must say this is pretty comfortable."_

**"I told you, now shall we continue?"  
**  
Yugi sat from outside, blinking several times as he swang his feet backwards and forwards as he was perching on the sink.  
"Wonder what's taking them so long? Why are they even in a cubicle together?"  
Shaking his head rapidly he closed he's legs together and continued to glance at the door, the occansional moan and shuffle could be heard. Glaring he folded his arms and covered his lap.  
"Body, I really hate you today..you're working against me!"  
Sighing his ears continued to work against him and listen to the noises coming from the cubicle.

_"Oh... I can see why you and Malik are so alike. It's disturbing"_

**"Really? Shall I demonstrate how Malik like I can be?"**

_"No, no it's fine. MARIK, you said we couldn't do that. Look and no touching remember!?!"_

**"I couldn't resist, it's just those sweet words that are making me do it."**

_"Please stop it, Marik. Stop licking it so slowly."_

**"Aww, Ryou is something wrong with that then."**

_"If you lick it that slow I won't get a go."_

**"Hmm, I didn't hear that. You'll have to beg." **

_"Marik. Just swollow it please!"_

**"Since you asked so nicely."**

_"Urgh. Thank you."_

**"Hmmm..boy did that taste good. A little salty but I guess it was worth it."**

_"Well let's see if I can make you last longer hey?"_

**"How is it?"**

_"Hmmm, I'm not sure."_

**"Lick it more then."**

_"Nope still not sure, I'll nibble it instead."_

**"No, wait that's cheating, lick damn it Ryou lick."**

_"Fine is that better. Wait, yeah I can taste it now, you just need to give it a really good suck."_

**"Urgh, Ryou please stop taunting me."**

_"Just giving you what you gave to me."_

**"Keep going I want another go."  
**  
_"Marik..."_

**"Ryou. Faster, please I can't last much longer."**

"NOR CAN I!"

The two hikaris gulped as they saw the cubicle door slam open, Ryou clinging to Marik as the fimilar sight of tri coloured hair caught their view.

"Guy's how could you. Ryou? Marik? ."  
Yugi asked, a furious look upon his face, his eyes spotting the sweets that where in Marik's hands. Love hearts. A sweet that tastes a lot better if you lick it slowly, so said the label anyway.  
Ryou's face sadened as he climbed off from Mariks lap, Marik standing behind him slightly confused. Yugi still glaring at the pair before opening his mouth again.

"How could you...leave me out of the fun, with sugary goodness!"

The other two hikaris blinked as the shortest light had a pout on his face and looking dissapointed. Ryou sweatdropped whilst the tanned hikari grinned.  
**"Aww Yugi there's always next time. I'll ask Malik to buy me another pair, because these are a lot more better when shared right Ryou."**

The white haired male sighed and held his head in his hands as he watched the other two grin at each other. _"How can I put up with you two. And Yugi we were not doing what you were thinking." _

"What was I thinking?"

_"Well er..."_

**"Don't confuse the boy Ryou, explain. "**

"Huh?"

_"Er, well you see."_

Marik smirked as he wrapped a arm round Yugi and pushed him and Ryou back into the cubicle. Both hikaris blinking, confused as Marik followed them with a Malik like grin on his face as he threw the empty packet of sweets into a nearby bin before he closed the door.

**"How about I show you what he meant.."**

(End of Chapter)

Well okay the end of that chapter seemed really, well bad but I couldn't think of anything else. I'm sorry but I shall back into typing this story as I've missed typing it for so long. I mean it was like ages since I had typed this so I'm going to try and get into the flow of it again and I hope the next chapter will be better.  
But I hope you've learnt not to buy the dodgy packets of love hearts, I did once and the things you get on them, are instresting as it shows. hehe hope that was okay for you peeps.

That's all really.  
I promise the next chapter will not be up a year later okay. Thanks for reading and please Review, it would be appricate. And sorry for any spelling or grammer errors, I'll correct them later. See yas!

Yugi_  
_


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